My thoughts and activities in Dharamsala

Moving on to the big shit…

2011-07-27T16:36:00.002+05:30

This Saturday morning of July 23^rd, I woke up the sideward falling of the monsoon rain which did so as if cut by the sideward glances of a flirty young hot shorty. Still in mind remained the confusion of thinking that the F.B.I. had busted into my room here at Sarah and tore my all shit asunder in search of illegal contraband. To my relief and like everything else mental, it was all in my head. Yesterday, our Morpheian teacher led us to the end of the terrain that consisted of the mind. Out of our study of the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” (blo rig) many of us have been painful debating about mind and its accompanying mental factors i.e., emotions which consist a different strain of study as compared to the other presentations found in the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness”.

Mind and its mental factors (sems dang sems byung) is mainly based on the Indian text called the “Compendium of the Abhidharma” (chos mngon pa kun las gtud pa/ abhidharmasamuccaya) written by Asanga. The previous presentations mainly dealt with how the mind knows things, either validly or not, either correctly or not, either directly or not, etc but with this presentation we studied mainly the emotions that must arise when a mind i.e., consciousness arises. There are 51 mental factors that arise with a mind, meaning that for each mind, lets take for example a mental consciousness apprehending a pot, there are out of these 51, 5 that must arise in tandem with it.

Thus that mental consciousness is also called a main mind (gtso sems). To keep this short and not to bore you death, there are many requirements that they must fulfill. The 5 mental factors act like a king’s bodyguard or to put in a more modern sense, like the secret service that must accompany Prez Obama wherever he goes. The main mind and these 5 mental factors a.k.a the five ever-present mental factors (kun ‘gro lnga) of feeling, perception, intention, contact, and attention, must have five aspects that are congruent with each other. Both have to be congruent in time, in object of observation, in aspect, in basis, and in substantial entity meaning that they are made of the same stuff. Thus when ones mental consciousness apprehends a pot at that time the other five aspects congruent with it also arises and so on and forth. But in the debate arena keeping this plus other points in one mind straight and clear is quite a messy business. This is just to give the reader some idea of what we have been dealing with for the pass two weeks since classes started.

This coming Monday, we will for now leave this terrain behind and move on to the big shit, our first look at a major Indian Buddhist text as I have mention previously. We will officially begin the first year of the “Perfection of Wisdom” course which lays out the entire Mahayana (Greater Vehicle) Buddhist path to liberation. I am quite nervous about all this, as I have seen that though I study my ass off, it takes me a really long time to get even a miniscule taste of W.T.F is going on. But it is all good. The commentaries are gargantuan and just looking at them without opening the cover causes the butterfly to run wild in my belly.

Anyways, I have just been recently introduced to the concept of ‘Ego’ music by a young American lady. It was a term I had never heard before and thus I was compelled to learn with it is. It was quite simple, as this lady stated, it music that one listen to feel like “I am da shit”. Wow, quite a revolutionary concept I might add. When I checked her ‘Ego’ music playlist I saw that most of those songs would not make me feel so and so I started wondering what would be my ‘Ego’ music? For a person like me who has been struggling with self-confidence, some ‘Ego’ music might be in good order. So one day while studying a song popped out on my I-tunes and as I listened to it and got up and started rocking to it and thought, ‘hey, I feel like I am da shit right now!’ regardless of whether I am or not. It’s kinda like a fake it til make it thing, it didn’t really matter what the lyrics were about but about the energy of the song that pushed the issue.

This caused me to mull over other candidates for ‘Ego’ music, with first contender being Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit” which came out when I was like a thirteen year plimply lil jit in NYC and which was the first rock song that I actually ever liked, with its hard grungy guitar licks and Kurt Cobain’s wailing voice, I then thought of other rock songs and even I dare say heavy metal songs that could serve up the same purpose. The hit of all ‘Ego’ music for me I think will have to be some good ole’ gangsta rap regardless of its misogynistic lyrics; nothing can’t make a brotha feel like ‘da shit’ like some straight up, ‘bitch slapping, bust a cap in da roof, don’t fuck with me, I don’t give a fuck!’ gangsta rap. Of course I don’t necessarily agree with the lyrics but it is the feeling that pushes da issue.

I have always had my ‘I need to love myself’ music which mainly consists of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s über bad ass quawwali licks of the Sufis, when I feel lacking in intimacy but this ‘Ego’ music idea it one that I am looking forward to exploring more. But now there is a catch, with being a practicing Buddhist and all there is always the danger of it backfiring; quite the oxymoron ain’t it? We are striving to reduce and ultimately eliminate the ego entirely not boost it up, so what gives? My thoughts on it for now are that in my case seeing that I have been struggling with my self-confidence forever that some ‘Ego’ music could be helpful. Like I heard the English nun Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo say once, “Many westerners with low-esteem levels need to first boost it and then work on eliminating it using the path”. For some reason, it does not work well at all if one confidence is already low and so I am looking at it with that in mind. And so, last night before I had to sit and defend my assertions with a fellow clueless classmate in front of a bunch monks at a damja, I stood in the middle of my room with my “air” fender Stratocaster in hand and now that my dreads are once again long, I slammed that guitar and banged my head to those grungy licks I mentioned earlier, and though during the damja I was being stumped, ridiculed, laughed at and getting caught in contradictions left and right, at the end I did not feel like shit but like I am da shit.

Pax

P.S. the above pic is of my nativeHimacheli orchid Anasazi flowering this pass summer.

Thrown back into it…..

2011-07-20T16:34:00.002+05:30

Summer vaca is now done son and as many of you have noticed I have not written a god damn thing since school has let out a little over two months ago. At the beginning of the summer vacation I was not sure if I will write anything or not thinking that this blog should be mostly about my activities with class and not about my lame ass summer musings. Thus, I wrote jack shit. But on the other hand, my internet access was minimal throughout the summer and it has continued to be so. My friend who had kindly let me use his USB internet drive has moved on and as many of you know unless one purchases one of those expensive ass USB internet drives web access at Sarah fucking blows. It seems to me that the frequencies of blog updates this year might be diminish as compared to the previous year but I will try my best. I definitely would like those who were regularly reading this blog to please continue to do so. You have no idea what that means to me. Unfortunately, since I have not been writing for the pass few months this entry is bound to suck due to lack of practice.

On the recapping side of things, my vacation began rather shitty due to my usual problems of being smitten over a very uninterested female. Ooohh!!!, my sour emotional woes knew no end for a time. It seems to me that if I fall for one, I fall for the one that wished that I was a eunuch. Thanks to kindness of my friend Cynthia, I slowly licked my wounds and was back to normal (whatever that means!). Sarah had a Geshe ceremony towards the beginning of vacation, where the first female ever has received the title of Geshe or to be more precise in this case of Geshema . If you remember Geshe is a degree that a student of Buddhist dialectics receives after they have successfully completed all their studies, which at Dialectics School consist of sixteen/ seventeen: it has been compared to a Doctorate in Buddhist philosophy. The German nun Ani Kelsang Wangmo has now received worldwide notoriety with the awarding of this degree. The degree that she and her fellow classmates have received is called a Rime Geshe degree lit: Non-sectarian degree. This is a degree that is allotted by I.B.D.

Normally, if one wanted to become a Geshe, regardless of where one studies the exam and classes for that degree most be taken at one of the three big monasteries; either Sera, Drepung, or Ganden monastic colleges and nuns are not allowed to study there. One needed to be a fully ordained monk in order for that to happen. Nuns in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition are not fully ordained, though some revolutionary nuns, Ani Thubten Chodron etc, have started one but outside of the fold so to speak. Because of this, many do not consider Ani Kelsang Wangmo reception of the degree as a true Geshe degree. But you know what! Fuck all you haters out there. This nun is one of the most qualified persons I know who is deserving of the degree. Folks love to get all caught on the dumb minor technical details that don’t mean shit when one considers that the depths of her knowledge and her realizations and the clarity she brings when she teaches is what counts. People tend to be all hating for the wrong things. Many including myself have benefitted from the knowledge which she selflessly gives. That is tremendous and I am glad that regardless of the conservative factions that exist at Dialectics School that that first step in empowering female scholar practitioners has finally been taken. Hopefully this is the first step with more empowerings to come, Inshallah!

For one a few days I was hanging out in Bir, to attend the teachings of Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, on “The way of the Bodhisattva” (Bodhisatvacharyavatara, spyod ‘jug), which I owe to my friend Apey who kindly provided me a phat ass crash spot. I also participated in a one week camp for 8^th grade TCV students to help them with their English skills which was very fun, though I was very reluctant to go because I hate teaching English with a passion. The camp was at a newly founded monastery called the Dorzong monastery. It was in an isolated and beautiful place not far up the hill from Gopalpur. The rest of my summer was boringly spent at Sarah watching a shit ton of movies, a friend loaned me a 265 gig hard drive packed full of movies. Sarah was hot and it fact it still this though the monsoon is in full effect.

Classes started last week on the 7^th of July and thus a full week has passed, a full week of doubts and frustrations. I have already had two migraines back to back this week due it. I get flustered because I can not pick it up as good as my classmates and I wish that I was not so fuck stupid. I know that that is my insecurities talking but it drives me mad. I just might not be meant for this, but everyday a Korean nun in my class encourages me and that has been so helpful I so appreciate her advice. She is older and she sees that the younguns in class have fresher minds that us geezers so they are more fluid with it but we will get it eventually she said. It still have my doubts, I have never been a philosophical inclined person to beginning with.

We are currently wrapping up our lesson on the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” mainly dealing with the section of mind and its accompanying emotions, which is a bitch to grasp. Soon, we will be moving on to study “The Ornament of Manifest Realization” (mngon rtogs rgyan, abhisamayalamkara) our first look at an Indian Buddhist root text alongside with the massive commentary on that text by Panchen Sonam Drakpa, the 3^rd Panchen Lama. We made some offerings to help remove obstacles and to provide us with the mental imprints so that we can correctly understand this text. We will be studying this root text for the next six years. Though the actually root text is only 33 pages long, which most be memorized, the commentaries on it are some thing to be reckoned with it since they are mad huge thus taking all those years to study. Well, everyone I will stop here. I hope that this finds you well, to those that I personally know, though I might not be in contact much if ever I still love you and I think of you often.

Pax

Returning Back: The Starting of a New Year (written Saturday April, 2nd 2011)

2011-04-07T17:09:00.000+05:30

It has been awhile, several weeks in fact, since I have been able to use the internet, check my email and so forth. But don’t fret, I have been desiring to write another entry but circumstances had deemed it difficult to do so. I had three weeks of vacation which initially started with cold and gloomy depressing weather but luckily that ended with the commencement of the Tibetan New Year. It was so nice during that time, comingling with my schoolmates within the normally gendered dormitories; Losar is the only time of the year where we are free to enter the opposite sex’s living space. Because of the lateness of the New Year and the various other events the happened after it, like the second Saturday of the month and HHDL’s teachings, the New Year vacation was longer than usual. This allowed many students to visit their homes in the different far off settlements within India and thus the student population on campus during Losar was very low. Normally only three days are allotted for Losar, but this year it was extended to two weeks. For us in the dialectics course it was three weeks, hella nice!

I spent a lot of me time hang out and watching TV shows on my computer of series that I have never had the opportunity to watch before. A friend of mine loaned me her external hard drive that had all the seasons of the show called “Six Feet Under”. When I was in college I was aware of this show but had never seen a single episode, but during break I watched all of them in a row and I have to say that I quite enjoyed them and that I was quite impressed with it, it was not like other shows and I will recommend it to anyone if they have not seen it, although it is macabre it actually has a deep meaning to it which is not normal for TV shows.

Besides that, I went to Bir to visit to some friends who were attending a Classical Tibetan Language course at the Deer Park Institute for a month. I attended the last two days of the course just to see what it was like and how it was taught. It was taught by an American and so I was curious to see how he approached teaching Classical Tibetan. I got the impression that he was very knowledgeable and I was very impressed and inspired by him. At the end he told me that I have a good skill in explaining Classical Tibetan grammar clearly and concisely and that I might think about teaching it in the future. But I don’t know; I will see how the un-arrive-able future pans out. Like the wise old turtle Oogway said in Kungfu Panda, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present”. I have to try to live day by day and be mindful of whatever may come.

It was nice to be outside of Sarah for a bit, I was feeling dumpy and through getting out and through the great criticisms from my friends I was able to see clearer. I spent about a week in McLeod Ganj which was my first time visiting there this year, the HHDL was giving some teachings, interestingly enough to the Thai Sangha. I think that this had to have been one of the first times that they had sponsored teachings from him. Normally, it will be sponsored by other Mahayana Buddhist Sanghas such Korean, Taiwanese and Altaic Russian. Thailand being a Theravadin Buddhist country where the Buddhist have many main and strong assertions counter to the Tibetan Mahayana/ Vajrayana view. It was interesting to be in McLeod Ganj at this time, most of the times it takes a lot to get me up that hill, sometimes not even HHDL’s teachings can get me to leave my cozy cave of a room. I had a great time, hanging out, being social, though I suffered from one hell of an eye-ache from all the eye candy. McLeod Ganj was überly filled with tourist. I have become very accustomed to the modestly clad Sarah mamas.

The Gelukpa prayer gathering ( dge lugs smon lam) was also in effect while I was there, meaning that a shit ton of monks where praying their asses off for several days. The sounds of guttural throat singing with deep over and undertones undulated and reverberated all throughout the town, what a welcome to the ambiance! In the morning and in the evening I.B.D. held thesis debates of an hour at a time. I attended a session one evening curious to see my upperclassmen in action. I have to say that, although we still have two years before we will move up to I.B.D., I am very intimidated. At Sarah on the debate courtyard we only have our classmates, but up there all the classes share the courtyard and I know that the higher classes love to challenge the lower students. I think that it might be some sort of rights of passage type thing.

Classes started about a week ago and it was very noticeable that no one opened a dialectics book during vacation. Everyone was fumbling over divisions and defining characteristics that, weeks ago was being spitted out with furious speed. The first week back was a bit trying, but after some reviewing and lectures we slowly were getting back up to speed and once again the dialectical fireworks of debate were exploding. But this time also there is a sense of relaxation or to better say ease. Right before our exam everyone was consumed by the fury of study especially since it was our first exam. Being back though we are all still studying like mad, in three weeks we will all have two months of summer vacation. Everything feels so loose because of that regardless that we are studying just as much as we where before.

Though our topic of study is extremely difficult, I absolutely love it. It has been forcing me to be more mindful of my thoughts and my consciousness in a way that I have never been before. In the pass I defined different consciousness depending on whatever external substances that I had ingested. We have been presented with different types of criteria for different types of awarenesses and unlike many of the types of consciousnesses that one finds in the study of Buddhist philosophy such as the wisdom that realizes emptiness (stong nyid rtogs pa’i shes rab), many of the types of consciousness that we are analyzing speaks to everyday experience. Gen la was very clear about this. We can use the divisions and the defining characteristics provided in our main “Mind and Awareness” root texts, compare it with other such texts from other traditions and test it out. I have been tickled to death by this though it is not easy. It has helped me so much recently using my own experience and measuring it up against the different views from various Buddhist scholar practitioners from antiquity up to modernity to see if they are full of shit or not. Of course many things are over my head and the reasonings for them tend to be terse and technical, but the ones that apply to me are my own and can be examined.

Some organizational restructuring has taken place within class, we elected a new class captain, who so far has been doing an excellent job and has brought new ideas up to bat, for example: before if one was absent without permission from class and could not pay the fine, one had to act as the temple caretaker for a certain period of time, meaning that butter lamps and water bowl offerings had to be taken care of, but now instead of that for every event that one misses without permission, there are five per day, and if they can’t pay the 40 rupee fine per session then they will have to do 30 full body prostrations per each session missed. I thought that that was a wonderful idea, even though being the temporary temple caretaker is a larger responsibility, doing full body prostrations ain’t no walk in the park either especially if one misses all five events for several days. He has reorganized our groups for group debates, so we are all in different groups now and during cleaning times he dispersed cleaning responsibilities to the different groups on a rotating schedule. And lastly we elected a new chant master who rocks it out. Overall, all the changes are great.

Along with the new mindfulness that my studies provide in conjunction with the kind and loving insights and criticisms from my friends, I am coming to realize that I have been suffering from a grave error (probably one of many) in my view and perception about myself. I have been nursing the idea that I am a good for nothing piece of shit, not worth the love or the attention of others. I seriously could not conceive why anyone would like to spend time with me, why they would think that I am an awesome this or an awesome that. I was seeing myself as a mess, as a shame, as something to be disgusted of. Such thoughts stretch longer than the river Nile and measure as much as the grains of sand that make up the banks of the river Ganges. I was thinking that in order to put myself in my proper place which I thought to be the lowest of the low, that I had to think in such a fashion. I am always thinking, “Who the fuck am I? I ain’t no one!”Though I know that I have good qualities and bad qualities like everyone since, I focused so much on the bad ones without being able to appreciate the good ones. I did it so much so that I think that was developing the opposite of narcissism, in other words I was seeing myself a-narcissistically meaning that I was focusing on “me” so much but in the sense that I totally disvalued myself.

It is always, “I suck”, “I ain’t beautiful”, “I ain’t worth the time of day”, this “I” grasping (bdag ‘dzin) is still the center of my world no different than that of a narcissist but in the other direction. It took the words from an external source to act as the cause to examine my normal every day statements about myself. I think that there is some truth to the thought that what we say in our normal everyday lives can reflect to a certain extant what the sub-conscious is up to and how we view ourselves. Through my everyday self-depreciating statements a friend totally called me call me out on it and though it was very painful to hear and I was initially hurt by those statements instead of rejecting them I examined them. This new turn of action, comes I think also from my new training, where we must always reexamine our assertions when they don’t hold up and one finds themselves in a contradiction. And so, with the change of the Tibetan New Year: the Iron-Hare year, the change of the weather into spring (finally!) and the many other inevitable changes that will transpire, May we all learn to be open enough to see the strength of our infinite potentiality, since I struggle to see mine. May we all learn to live in that precious realm that we are all gifted with called life, regardless of the fact that none of us consciously chose to be born. Most importantly, through our realizations of life experience and the new positively embodied outlook may those we encounter pick up the spark and spread it far and wide. Oh God, I hope that that didn’t sound too fucking cheesy, Whatever!

Pax

P.S. Also over the weeks a lot has transpired globally, the tsunami that hit Japan; my heart goes out the Japanese. A young Tibetan monk in Ngaba, Amdo, Tibet self-immolated himself five days after the anniversary of the Tibetan revolt in Lhasa March, 10th. I have not been reading the newspapers much, but WTF! The U.S. is now involved militarily in Libya? Well gees, they sure didn’t give a rat ass about the other revolutions that were happening in the Arab world, I mean why the fuck should we care about Bahrain anyway, Oh shit I forgot, Libya has oil!

Done Son!

2011-02-27T17:45:00.001+05:30

That is it, Se Acabo! Our first year of Dialectics School is officially done, Phewwwwu! This pass week, I dwelt in an intense state of revision, discussion and memorization. Gen la gave us our final lecture on Monday. Though from Tuesday until Friday we had morning debates and mandatory group study sessions from 10:30am to 12:30pm, the rest of the afternoon we had free to study and prepare our debates for our first exam. I was very fortunate to have the help of a German nun for the preparation of my debate and she also connected me with a monk from I.B.D to help me, who was at Sarah at the time relaxing and teaching Tibetan to the study abroad students and to the international student’s class. I jumped in head first towards my task. Already from class I was used to normally spending long hours in study, but this was a bit different from my normal routine. I was very daunted at the idea of revisiting everything that we have studied since day one, which in fact proved to be utterly impossible though as far as reacquainting myself with the defining characteristics and the divisions from “The Presentation of Collected Topics” that came easier for although I had forgotten most of them as soon as I started reading them again they came quickly back to my mind.

For the exam, when one sits as a defender, one doesn’t know what queries the challenger might posit. Gen la said that we could prepare a debate on anything that we had studied this year. As the days turned into nights and back into days again, I had to prepare myself mentally. I was pretty nervous about this whole exam business. During my first years at Sarah, the second and the third being in the Tsamjor course, the international students were encouraged the take the exams but no one ever did. But this is different and there was no way around it, we are all O.G. legit students, not gank-assed sidelined spectators. As the time eventually slipped by as it is currently perceived in nature, I felt in some ways like a bowling ball propelled by a unseen but tactile hand down the alley of the week. Every morning the closer it got to the exam date, the clearer comes the sight of your target. At the beginning of a throw, though one as made a straight roll the doubt of it being a strike does not appear to the mind until a split second before when one is assured in triumph of ones marksmanship. If you are the ball though then the perspective changes, once in the gutter you know what’s up, but if you are in on alley, that very slick and slippery wooden alley there is no way of avoiding the collision. That was the feeling that I was harboring and as the days passed, sliding closer, seeing the size of those pins getting bigger and bigger; the sense of nervousness and excitement grew within my form. That sense was bloody strong too. I practiced placing my intention in the right place. I acted everything out as I worked on my debate, how it could go on exam day in my mind. Bamm! Immediately the butterflies came flooding in dowsing my bloodstream with it noxious intoxicant. My voice began to waver and stutter. This was a lot of help.

Finally I woke on the morning of Saturday, 26^thFebruary. It was a cold and gloomy Saturday once again. Rumors were floating around about snow in McLeod Ganj. I thought about the previous months and more particularly about the previous week of study in my icebox of a room freezing late into the night. The big day was finally at hand and I remember that the day before as I was descending the stairs heading to the dining for dinner one of the monks stopped me and was singing a Hindi song to me. I asked him what it meant he said that it was a song from the Hindu epic the Mahabharata singing the song to battle between the Pandavas and Kauravas, encouraging them to prepare for the upcoming struggle just like our upcoming exam tomorrow is like a battle. I was like, “well at least we won’t be using no real bows and arrows”. “But we will be wielding word bows and firing word arrows” he said. To which I laughed. I had not prior to that little interlude ever thought of our exam as a battle, though battle terminology works great, but it some ways this monk was right.

We were to meet in the temple at 9am, I wore some nicer clothes; I don’t have an iron so they were crinkly as hell, and I entered the temple where most of my classmates and other schoolmates had gathered. We didn’t have to wait to long before Gen la entered with our two judges; two Geshes, one from Drepung Loseling monastery, and the other from Sera Je monastery, two very prestigious institutions. We all stood up as they walked in and we sat down after they took their seats. Our class was split, about half on the left and half on the right. The Geshes sat in the front left on double stacked mattress’ and Gen la sat across from them with the defender’s mattress laid on the floor slightly in front, in between them. Gen la explained the rules of the proceedings. In a plastic container were little pieces of paper with our names on it. As he said this, he lifted it up and shook it and everyone ohhhed and awwwed in nervous anticipation. The first named to be pulled will sit as defender and the second name to be pulled will be the challenger. After ten minutes Gen la will clap his hands and then the first person will be the last challenger and the second person will immediately sit as defender and another name will be drawn from the container to fill the spot of challenger and so and so forth. Those were some tense moments; I don’t think no one wanted their name to be pulled out first. I know that the only thing I wanted was to go in the morning and have it over with. The Geshes graded us each on a 50 point scale, 25 point for our debate, and 25 points for answering as defenders then both of their points are added together making it out of a total 100 points. The first name was drawn, pheewwu! As Shaggy said, “It wasn’t me!” and the battle, as the monk told me yesterday was on. Once thing was very obvious from the start, everyone was nervous; with this being our first such exam it makes sense. Watching as the exams went along, those tens minutes seem very long. My classmates had chosen debates from all the presentations; what a milieu of analysis we had going on.

After the fourth or fifth challenger had passed, I heard my name. Oh dip! Again my stomach started to tremble such as I had experienced the pass few nights. I remembered what my marching band instructor used to say before we had to perform for half-time at football games in high school, “Get yo’ game faces on, Get yo’ game faces on!” So I slipped on my sandals and my game face and got to business. The defender was a Tibetan monk from Kham who had broken his legs awhile back; now has trouble walking and had studied previously in one of the monastic institutions in South India, a good debater for sure. He had to sit in a chair. He gave me such a hard time for the opening part of the debate which was from “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings”, I had three debates initially prepared and I was not happy that he was holding me up on a very common query and after a few minutes into it he finally accepted it and I got the contradiction out of him, Tshaaa! I then moved into the first phrase, comparing two phenomena that seem so similar but in actuality they were not so thus it was a debate that was totally dependent on how he answered the first question. There were only two ways he could answer. If he had given the correct answer then I would have moved quickly to the second phrase. But that was not necessary, just as the German nun said; the correct response is hard to posit, even though it sounds so easy. Once I heard his answer I knew what to do and he was stuck like chuck. He had no room to move but unfortunately I heard Gen la clapping from my lower right meaning that my debate was over; those ten minutes went über quick, dawg. I was hoping to get his main assertion.

Then it was my turn for the receiving end, not knowing what the hell the challenger is going to ask, I sat down crossed-legged nervously on the defender’s mattress, “the hot seat”, in front of the temple between the Geshes and Gen la. A monk from Mön, Arunachel Pradesh, India was my challenger. I knew that I was in for it, for the pass couple of months I have noticed that his knowledge has been getting better and sharper. In one way luckily he asked something that I was familiar with from the same presentation that I had previous debated and I knew that I was stuck from the beginning. I had two ways to initially answer each leading to various logical absurdities and contradictions. I weigh out my options, made my assertion and he tore into me good. I noticed from corner of my eye that the Geshes were smiling. I think that this was their first experience too in many respects. Before I knew it, I heard Gen la’s clap to my left and I knew that that was that. I was done. Once I had taken my seat on the sidelines a sense of relief flooded me, Wow! I was now that bowling ball which was tossed down a slick wooden alley and had struck its mark. Now, all we had to do was to wait for the results of the bowl to appear on the screen above the alley. The guys on the side were so encouraging. I could just relax now, knowing that I was done and watched the rest of the debates. We had an hour and a half break at 12:30pm, as I was leaving to go the lunch, the Geshes were in front of the temple and one of them said that I my debate was good, I was more that elated to hear that.

After lunch, we met back up in the temple at 2 to finish the exam which ensued until 4:15pm. Everyone did so well, but of course some of the guys love asserting and holding ridiculous views and doing so during the daily debates is one thing but during an exam is not such a hot idea. Our judges were pretty cool, not all of them are, like I remember seeing when I attended the exams from the above class that was at Sarah. Only when the defender would say stupid-ass shit and the challenger couldn’t catch them in the contradiction would the Geshes step in and set shit straight. I was happy for every one, I could tell that everyone had studied hard and that is what counts. After the very first defender finished his debate as challenger, on the side: it was interesting that the last three debates was by our three youngest classmates, one of the Geshes commented on us staying that though we don’t study the topics as long as they are studied it in South India that we overall did pretty good. I knew that no one bombed the exam. Gen la then announced that we are to convene after dinner at 6:30pm in the temple to receive our grades. We normally called our Gen la “Gen Lodöe” but that is not his monastic name. The monk who was helping with my debate last week asked me if I knew why he is called “Gen Lodöe”. Lodöe (blo gros) means wisdom and he was given this name “Lodöe” by the founder of I.B.D. Ven. Lobsang Gyatso a.k.a Gen Dampa, because he supposedly never studied the texts too much but was known as an amazing McNasty debater. Now with having Gen la as my dialectics professor I can totally see that, it makes so much sense.

And so comes 6:30pm gathered in the temple again, the Geshes had split and Gen la was carrying the three mark sheets in his hand. After he had sat down he said, “Because we belong to a school we have to administer exam but these exams are not the goal of your studies. Your goal is to grow in wisdom, compassion and understanding. Your goal is to gain experience in practice. If it is only to pass exams then there is no point in studying this at all, that being said here are your grades!” He read each of our grades, first the two halves, one for debate and one for answering from each Geshe and then the total score. The range of the scores was not bad at all I don’t think, the lowest was a 60 or a 64 and the highest was an 81 going to our Singaporean nun putting her at 1^st place or anki dangpo. Two others and I came in second at 77 and surprising Gen la said that I had a good debate. Three others came in third with 76. I was surprised for sure and was very happy. Normally the Rignae classes would give awards to the 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rdplace students of the exams but Gen la said that our class doesn’t do that. He then passed the score paper around for us to see and talked about our upcoming vacation and the upcoming year.

Initially he was going to have us meet for mandatory study session on Monday and Tuesday morning since the official last day of class at Sarah for Losar is on Tuesday but last night he said that it will be fine if we eliminate that and that we could just chill quietly in our rooms. Losar, the Tibetan New Year is coming up next Saturday, after that HHDL teachings, and Geluk Monlam after that which the monks have to attend; thus making our first day of class for the New Year around 20^th or the 21th of March. Sweet! Though I have no clue what I am going to do with myself for all this time, I can’t afford to go anywhere unfortunately but that is ok. It is nice though just to chill and read a book or something, for this time of the year; Losar is generally nice at Sarah, though normally the study aboard students would be here and we’ll be kickin’ with some dancing or something, but they all headed to McLeod Ganj on Saturday so none of that this year. I called the German nun and told her how the exam went and gave her so many thanks, which does no justice to the amount of help and time she provided from her busy schedule for helping me, my marks are due to her. But that’s all folks for the week. I am hoping that the spring we will be descending soon. I am hoping that Libyan people will be able to find a solution to their situation, there are rumors of things trying to be sparked in the P.R.C. though the government has tried hard to control and censor any info concerning the Arab Facebook revolution, let see what happens. Sarva Mangalam!

Pax

Drunken Monkey

2011-02-20T20:58:00.002+05:30

Due to the thus past Valentine’s Day this week, I will like to send a shout out to all those out there who have been able to find or have founded that special someone in your life. That special someone of either opposite, same or multiple sexes that you felt worthy enough of calling them your valentine and them to you. But I will also like to send an even more exceptional shout out to all those scrubs, zeros, scalawags, lonely hearts, neutered adults out there, those who have spend all their lives in the “friend zone”, who just through either sheer circumstance or other repeated situations have never been found worthy to be someone’s valentine and have spend every valentine’s day feeling like shit. If you are feeling me, to you my friend, I holla to ya. No day in the western calendar make us feel more sad than this one. This day being, according my sociology professor in college, the first holiday ever created in a corporate boardroom by a bunch of suits who chose to target one group of people for profit while making us acutely aware that on that day, no one is going to be sending us roses, chocolates, cards or none of that jazz. No secret admirers. No kisses, no spooning or other felicitous activity to look forward to that night for us. But we have been bamboozled by it because we have sent more than our share of these items to someone we wished to be our valentine only to have it thrown back in our faces. I know folks, if you are like me, you might be jaded to the fucking idea by now, the damage is done.

Valentine’s Day always brings this is out of me, even in India where it is not really celebrated. Sometimes it makes me wish that I had a gender neutrality button built into my body so that when I begin to feel that awesomely dreadful but at the same time lovely wishful sensation of smittenness towards the opposite sex I could press that button and thus eliminate the otherwise days and weeks of mental and emotional turmoil that I would have otherwise placed myself through. My initial idea of being initiated into eunuch-hood really caused me to doubt my sanity and so thus I stay as a libidinous 3O something male who appreciation for the sisteren remains unwavered. Luckily like any other emotion they too are impermanent, so they do pass and with studying Buddhist philosophy one sees gradually that nothing is filled with more false promises than the desire for intimate companionship but that idea alone is not powerful enough to prevent it from arising in ones mind, it must be accompanied by the work also. Ok, I will stop with this nonsense.

I know that I am not a fortune teller, but as I said after Tethong Tenzin Namgyal la spoke at Sarah College, I was banking or wondering if the other candidate for Kalon Tripa will speak on campus. And fo’ sho that he did, though I missed the first couple of minutes of his spiel. On Monday, Dr. Lobsang Sangay la wheeled a magic wand of charm and pizzazz. His sheer potency of character wooed our student body who were not used to seeing this kind of magnetism coming out of a Tibetan before. As compared to Tethong la, Lobsang Sangay la’s demeanor reminded me of a puffed up cock who has whooped all the lesser cocks into submission. These two candidates could not have been more polar opposites just based on what I saw at their respective talks. Though I felt that his rap was severely lacking in substance or concreteness, his efforts for traveling all through out India campaigning at the various Tibetan settlements seems to have done him very good. Thus far it seems very likely that this young man will possibly be the next Kalon Tripa if the results from the previous elections seem to be of any indicating factor. Supposedly he won close to 50% of the votes while all the other candidates had to share the other 50%. Shit, I guess with knowing that if I was him I might be feeling like hot shit too. But luckily as an outsider with not an iota of political science skill under my belt my opinion doesn’t count for doo-doo butter as far as the Tibetan community is concerned.

I have to say that on first impression I was quite taken with the guy. He dress was impeccable, the dude looks good in a suit and his ability to capture the crowd’s attentions is quite something. He seemed charming, witty, intelligent and funny which is always a plus. I have not thus far seen another Tibetan who has done so, that being said I had some issues with his lack of anything that seems like a strategy for the Tibet issue or any issue for that fact; he’s probably keeping them secret. In his Tibetan talk, he used the old ‘I come from the same background as you, a poor boy from a Tibetan settlement milking cows’ spiel or like in a more familiar context ‘I was an ignant farmer boy just like you’ line. He pushed the fact that he is a Harvard scholar so many times; it is like his whole campaign is based on the fact that he went to Harvard Law School which I found to be a bit disappointing. But it makes sense, the weight of merely saying ‘Harvard’ seems to mesmerize folks here. His English talk was definitely less impressive, and when a student placed a bit a pressure on him about a question that he tried to dodge he definitely got snappy.

I think that the study abroad students who were there know as much as about this guy before the talk as they did after. He did not answer any of their questions, besides saying read my booklet or my website. I have read the booklet and there are no insights there at all but I don’t know about the website. After it was all said and none, we all briefly gathered outside the meeting hall and he came around shaking everyone hand and shit. I ended up standing with some girls, old classmates of mine and they were so shy, like sheep. When he came by us they all tried to crowd into a corner behind me so as not to be seen by him. I was talking to them briefly and he said to me, ‘Wow, you speak Tibetan well!’ shook my hand and went on his way. I just smirked. I definitely found the whole scenario odd. To me it seemed very out of place. Definitely what it is putting out there is that he is the change for the Tibetan community, hmmm, “Change” from where does that sound familiar? His campaign style is definitely American or heavily American inspired and I guess seeing it superimposed in this environment made it even the more striking. The other candidate is the exact opposite and that seems to be what will cost him the election.

Though most folks here seem excited about this new change that might be coming to the Kalon Tripa office, definitely not every one is so impressed. A Tibetan friend of mine from the U.S. is not convinced by the sheer force of his charisma or by his erudition. I think that she feels a bit distraught that the wrong guy might be the new Kalon Tripa. She is familiar with this guy just by the mere fact that the Tibetan community in the states is not that big. From her perspective, this guy is playing on the general ignorance of the community, on their lack of access to information. With this being in some sense the very first big election for the Tibetan exile-community as a new budding democracy, many of the things that might not happen back at home due to broad internet access and citizens participating in online election forums can easily slide by unnoticed here. No sort of venue for critically weighing the pros and cons of each candidate is available for the majority who do not have web access. A paper was posted around campus providing a critique of Dr. Sangay la and it was torn down within a few days. Favoritism based on peer-pressure appears to be running very high, it seems. I know that it has to be frustrating for her and I know that she is working hard to provide a more open platform of critique but it seems like she is swimming against the current. Remember, our experience of the Tibetan exile community is based solely on what happens in and around Dharamshala which is of though major influence is still very small considering that most Tibetans in India live in an assortment of settlements that sprinkle the entire Indian Subcontinent. Regardless, Dr. Sangay la’s possibilities of becoming the next Kalon Tripa seems to be almost in the bag, but we won’t know until the 20^th of March. If the people make a mistake, then they must live with the consequences which I think is part of democracy. When that power is given to the people then they must learn the responsibility that they have with that power. This responsibility is not always realized quickly and a new democracy just might have to fuck up a couple to times before they realize more critically the importance of their collective responsibility. That is the beauty and the curse of the democratic process.

We are now exactly one week a way from our first exam and the closer the date comes: Saturday February 26, 2011, the more my knees knock. Gen la continued leading us through “The Presentation of Mind and Awareness”. One day Gen la was talking how the mind is a like a monkey. In general it is also said that this mental monkey, is blind, drunk and is stung by a scorpion. As in a badly dubbed 70’s Kung fu movie, “Your tiger style is of no comparison to my drunken monkey style, take this!!!!! Keyyyyayyy!!!!!!!”. But, it is definitely true, our minds seem to be all over place just like a monkey, it is never still not even for a nanosecond. During my first two years at Sarah one only saw monkeys occasionally, but now they are everywhere and so we all have amble experience with these nasty ass intelligent critters. I think that the human urge to do parkour or any other extreme sports comes from our primal nature. For a monkey every time it moves is parkour, its climbing and jumping ability are, no pun intended, off the wall. Every time I see a monkey with a broken arm I assume that that was not the smart monkey for it must have missed its mark. I like just staring at them sometimes, for after all we are related and if you catch one by surprise it always reminded me of catching a young toddler who is doing some wrong and they know that they are doing some wrong but they look at you with that look like they are not doing anything wrong though you have caught them red handed. There is a lot of monkey business going on around here. Any ‘ole how, I like how the examples that we use in our philosophy class are things that we can witness everyday.

My memorization tasks are still going full force and I am almost ¾ through downloading the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” and after that probably through our short vacation after the exam I will start working on the root text for the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” which is about half as short as the prior root text. So far I have been debating the topic without having downloading the root text and I felt a bit like shooting in the dark in debate though I have done ok so far. Last Tuesday evening I had to sit defender to with another classmate for group debate and I felt that we held each other well. There ain’t nothing like having a bunch of wiry Tibetan monks yelling at you, clapping millimeters in front of your face, trying to crack your assertions. I think that all of us are going through the same thing. In the courtyard, many of us are still debating the previous topic because it is it hard as hell, we have to study for this exam and some how continue with our current daily lessons. I feel that I have more interest in this topic and though it was the same when I started the prior one. At the beginning, no really knows what the hell is going on and then after more experience with it the heat is then piled on and the debates gets trickier. But this topic has been hot from the get-go, many tough issues going on from the start. I guess it was not the same with “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings’ because it is so stinking tough. The current topic of course is also very difficult but it is not the same.

We had a very especial visitor come to our Monday morning debate, a German nun, the philosophy professor for the study abroad students, who is an extremely accomplished student of dialectics and though so far without the title, is a Geshema, came and scoped out our class. She went around to different groups of debaters posing questions here and there. I was involved in my debate and the monk sitting next to me asked me if I knew who this foreign nun was and if she was any good. I told him that she is the bomb and that she done finished Dialectics School. Towards the end of the debating session a bunch of us gathered around her as she was with debating our class captain who is a pretty bright dude, but he was of course not able to hold up his defenses against such a skilled practitioner. Her movements in debate are extremely smooth, fluid and she knows how to place weight on her proclamations with a solid clap and stomp deep into the ground. I quickly looked at the nuns from my class and they seemed impressed. This might have been the first that my classmates have ever seen a western nun debate and one that did so, so incredibly well. When the Hindi Teacher’s training course was here we were getting use to those monks constantly kicking our asses, but it was nice for a change to have a nun give it to us good. That moment will have a lasting impression on me.

Tuesday evening right before debate I was on the roof after a bad ass storm and a most beautiful scenery came to life as the sun was setting. Because of the rain, the normal haze that floats around in the air was minimized. The northwestern side of the snow mountain was shining like a pure crystal, utterly pristine with fresh snow fall. The eastern side was totally obscured by dark grey clouds. Above, several smooth circle-like cloud features reflected a deep orange pastel-like color that faded from a deeper pinkish-like pastel. These colors were bouncing off of the round protrusions and between the crevices of these protrusions the deep indigo-blue of the evening sky was making itself apparent providing an uncanny contrast. Facing towards the further northwestern side huge majestic pearly cumulous clouds were commanding respect as far as the eye could see over the valley. Following the same direction of sight one encountered the setting sun doing its awesome job, closing the day for us while opening it somewhere else simultaneously. I wish I had the capacity to capture such moments but nothing can, a fancy ass camera won’t do and definitely not my words, though I wished I possessed just that kind of compositional skill. Thus, you get stuck with my poorly written description of a scene that cannot be fully written about with any sense of justice.

As we were cleaning the temple today, one of guys figured out how to hook up his MP3 player to the temple’s PA system and was blasting Pink Floyd as we did our cleaning duties. Again, a combination of two things that seem at odds with each other in my dome was manifested. I used to love Pink Floyd when I was in high school especially while visiting the merry ole’ Land of Oz. Hearing these songs, Breathe, Another brick in the wall etc, blasting in the temple surrounded by Buddhas and bodhisattvas took me back to those days, my youthful innocent and severely immature days of wanton carefree-ness. Of course my classmates have no association with it and I am sure that they would have preferred some “Bolle, Bolle” or some Hindi film songs. But now at this point in my life, as I live this very different life that want I have live, having all these new experiences, made me hope for the more beautiful and touching experiences that are to come. I think that I might reflect a bit too much, even though being at Sarah after 3 years has become so familiar now, those past experiences never go away from the make-up of a person. I don’t know what I am exactly trying to say, but experiencing these two worlds collide like that moved something inside me. Regardless, I hope that all of you out is the world are treasuring and are feeling treasured.

Pax

P.S. A monk came up to me with a piece of paper one day during study period with some words written on it in English. After translating the meaning of most of the words, he then point to one word with his index finger and looks up at me saying in the most innocent face, “ ‘boobies’ ga re la go re?” “What does ‘boobies’ mean?” And thus I was stumped. Probably more stumped than I have been so far on the debate courtyard.

Psyche!!!

2011-02-13T16:47:00.001+05:30

It sure was looking good, I was almost about to retire my habitual layers of clothing than I have been wearing all winter but my hopes were built as usual on a grand fallacy. That winter was over. Those two or three days of near T-shirt weather last week, though it might have been a precursor to a warmer spring, it was definitely a precursor to a more immediate and ferocious entity. Starting Sunday night and lasting all through Monday, such a wind blew through the environs. It has been a while since I have seen such a wind. While waiting for Gen la to arrive before class on Monday, we were all congregated on the huge veranda in front of the classroom, one of my classmates said, “look, the wind is so strong that if you jump straight up in the air you won’t land in the same spot”, I was like, “nah nuh!” and then I tried it and ‘sho ‘nuff, I could feel while I was in the air for that split second as if someone was gently but firmly pushing on my back causing me to move forward and I landed not where I started my jump. For a couple of minutes me and this monk tried this several times getting a kick out of it. Later, someone had given us all almonds and I started chucking them in the air and catching them in my month but this proved to be quite difficult due to the then airstream velocity. Some of the other guys joined in pelting these almonds as high as they could and then trying to catch them in their mouths. I got to say that after a few mishaps’ I got my technique down despite the squall. If one would have looked from the roof of either dorm one might of thought that we were stupid drunk solely based on the way of our movements.

It was interesting to see how the wildlife dealt with this weather. The monkeys looked pitiful, while I was in my room before heading to class a monkey was walking on the hand railing of my balcony and it sadly looked at me through the window with eyes that said, “How can you be so cruel? You sitting there comfortably in you room with the door locked and not offering me shelter and so I get blown around hanging on this building for dear life”. What I can do! I did feel bad for the poor critter having to deal with the elements like that. The house swifts though looked liked they were having a hell of a good time. Their chaotic aeronautical abilities even without a shit of wind is astonishing and now adding the wind factor that lil fuckers at times looked as if they were floating still in the air, just to all of a sudden dart quickly a far distance with awesome velocity. It reminded of Star Trek how in every scene where the USS Enterprise is about to bust into warp speed, it seems all so still and then whooosh! In a nanosecond a humongous power propels it to another world. The hawks on the other hand did not seem to be having such a great time due to their bulk and large wingspan which acted more like sails causing them to be blown all over the place much like the wind carrying a plastic bag.

That evening before debate I found myself on the roof of the boy’s dorm easily mesmerized by the thick blanket of gray low laying clouds floating over my head, I felt like I could almost have touched them. Towards Kangra I watched the scintillation of lightning rapidly crashing into the ground and between clouds. Towards the mountain the blanket stretched out totally covering the snow mountain’s very existence from view. I could see huge puffs of grayish clouds traveling as if a clan of gargantuan mythic seductive siren-nymphs were trying to woo the attention of their sailor prey between the range that Naddi sits on and the main partially obscured lower face of the Dhauladhars. Once again I looked straight up to the clouds in amazement at the kind of textures that it seems to make. Some looked like the inside of a walnut shell with sharp protrusions, while others were more smooth like when one swims in the ocean totally submerged and looks up seeing the surface of the water undulate fluidly though here they are not moving. Though I know that a cloud is not solid it can sure give that impression can’t it? It can appear to be so stable, steady and substantial but as anyone who has flown through a cloud in an airplane and has lived in McLeod Ganj during the monsoon season knows they are far from solid, you can’t even get a hold of it no matter how hard you try. This could be a good simple metaphor for describing the lack of inherent existence (rang bzhin med, asvabhAvatA) wouldn’t it? Ok, enough of that!!

The initial movement of the system started by pouring nice warm wind on us but that changed as night began to fall. I, in a way felt a bit jipped, I am had been punk’d! The three days before that the clime was telling me like, “dude, you will be sleeping in shorts, and not freezin’ yo ass off in your room, etc etc” and Monday it told like me, “Pscyhe! You gullible motherfucker, you still gotz to freezzze biaaacth!” Hey! No fair, I’ve been lied to! Hahaha, JK. In all seriousness, other more reliable signs of the coming spring have already started to manifest, like some of the trees are growing fresh new leaves, though around here only a few trees lose their leaves in the winter. And so this climatic ruse might have fooled me for the moment, I feel that in no time I will be turning on my ceiling fan wearing shorts and sweatin’ my balls off waiting for autumn.

The landscape of the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” is so far as I can tell is a very strange one indeed. Though on the debate courtyard we are still debating topics from the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings”, Gen la has been moving rather too quickly through this present realm of study. Though it definitely seems that all of the different presentations our related they are not exactly the same. Even the method of debating them is different. This presentation like the “Presentation of Collected Topics” has a lot of formulations for comparing phenomenon, if you remember the tetralemma and trilemma that are used to compare two phenomena, which I have explained in a previous entry. So for debate, if one is not prepared before hand but has memorized the defining characteristics and the divisions then one can just ask questions working through a tetralemma, trilemma, etc. The “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” is a whole other monster and tetralemmas and trilemmas are very rarely used in debate.

Anyways, the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” has some tripped out shit in it for sure and it is very confusing. This study requires the student to look at their daily and normal experiences of the mind and this requires mindfulness. Just to try to provide you with a feeling of what kinds of things we are looking at here, I hope that this is comprehensible for my understanding is low; one day Gen la was talking about a certain consciousness in which he used as an example the snow mountain that appears to an eye consciousness as blue (gangs ri sngon po snang bas mig shes). Luckily we have a huge snow mountain to stare that that puts this statement into a more personal perspective. Anyways, he said that consciousness (shes pa, jña) in general, whose defining characteristic is “clear and knowing (gsal zhing rig pa)”, acts a lot like a mirror. Whatever appears in front of it, it simply takes and reflects without any thought or discrimination. But one difference is that although all that appears to the consciousness it receives and takes in without judgment, it does not necessarily apprehend everything or all the aspects. An example will be the computer screen in front of me, it as an object appears in all its aspects but I can not ascertain all of them, like the atoms that make it up though they are appearing. Supposedly, with correct and disciplined meditation one can gain the ability to ascertain many things of such a nature like the subtle impermanence of things.

Obviously the subject and the object are very important and in the “Presentation of Collected Topics” a whole section of reasoning sequences are dedicated solely to subject and object (yul dang yul can) and also obviously more important is cause and effect. And so as Gen la mentioned in the above example, eye consciousness acts without discrimination because it is a consciousness, but could it be through the fault of the eye consciousness that the snow mountain appears to it as blue? He then posited this “Does the white snow mountain appear to the eye consciousness?” We all said yes! If it does so he said, “then it will follow that it does not appear as blue because the white snow mountain appears?” There is a sudden silence as we all sit there scratching our heads. He then asked, “Does that eye consciousness see the snow mountain as blue?” yes we said. “If it sees it as blue then in follows that it necessarily appears as blue because seeing and appearing are synonyms”. If this whole thing does not sound strange or confusing then this possibly might, the word in Tibetan seeing (mthong ba) and appearing (snang ba) are, according to this system mutual inclusive or synonymous. This is not the case in the colloquial language and it might not be viewed so by the other three schools of Tibetan Buddhism. That being said, even within this system which we are studying the meanings of these terms fluctuate between the two depending on the context. A clever challenger might switch between the two meanings of the words in debate and thus render an unknowing defender potentially very confused which is what Gen la did to us to as a pedagogical tool.

But it also brings up an issue; there is an agreement that ‘the snow mountain that appears to an eye consciousness as blue’ is a wrong consciousness (log shes, mithyA-jñAna). But where is it wrong? Is it wrong at the subject’s level, meaning at the eye consciousness or at the object’s level, meaning the snow mountain? Saying that the snow mountain is wrong seems obviously ridiculous but a reasoning sequence similar to the one Gen la used on us could be used to see and check how strong and stable that assertion is within the defender. Consciousness has two divisions: sense consciousness (dbang shes, indriya-jñAna), which eye consciousness falls under and mental consciousness (yid shes, mano-jñAna). Mental consciousness is the realm of thoughts and concepts whereas sense consciousness works in dependence on the world of the senses. Gen la asks, “In order to have a wrong consciousness does there also need to be a mental consciousness?” to which he then posited another classic example of: an eye consciousness that apprehends the horns of a rabbit (ri bong gi rva ‘dzin pa’i mig shes). In this example it is clear that like the snow mountain example that the object would not be at fault. This example implies a person who apprehends the ears of a rabbit and mistakes them to be horns. But is there a difference between this and the above example?

One reason could be that the person apprehending the first example could be wearing blue sunglasses or has a severe eye condition. But with the second example, the aspect of the mental consciousness comes into play. “When the horns of a rabbit are apprehended by an eye consciousness doesn’t it also appear to the mental consciousness?” asked Gen la. In this case wouldn’t the mind be faulty at that time. The apprehension of the horns of a rabbit will not be clear as it is with the eyes. Images that appear to the mind are said to be not clear but fuzzy like looking a something through fog. This also could imply that the image appears to the mind directly before the eye consciousness apprehends it. I know at I have had that similar horns of a rabbit apprehending-like experience, like when I saw someone that looked like a friend of mine and I thought that I saw my friend but it actually was a total stranger. When I think about it, the consciousness that saw my friend must of have been the mind just because I simply thought, ‘oh hey, that is so and so’ and that image of my friend appeared to it and apprehended it, but only to realize that in actuality that I was mistaken. How many of you have had similar experiences? Gen la never gives us the answers, but as he says “leads us through the map of topics to point out the difficulties in traversing certain areas of the terrain”.

One day a student asked Gen la, if we will get any study-time before the exam in two weeks. He said, “Isn’t the two hours of mandatory study-time everyday enough?” We all got nervously still of a second, he then said that he will give us three days before the exam for study-time. I got the say that I was not too happy about that. The class before us always got a full week to prepare before their exams, but I also know that we are behind schedule. Everything that we studied since the first day of the course could be on the exam depending on what ones challenger has prepared for debate while one sit as defender. We all have to prepare a debate as challenger for the exam but as defender one will be clueless, you won’t know who the challenger will be until seconds before ones debate time. I am really happy that I have someone helping me prepare a debate for I probably will be so scarred without it. But still, all those points, defining characteristics, and divisions that I have forgotten for tons of topics from the pass, I will have only three days to review them which seem asinine.

Gen la said that when took his exams back the day, that the HHDL would be there in attendance on the throne looking down on them and they had to debate in front of him. If that would have been me I would have totally “shit a brick!” Back in those days HHDL was younger and his popularity and the demands on his personal time were not like they are now. So he was able to attend these things. I could just imagine Gen la as young monk tearing into a defender. Though he might have sucked in those days, which I seriously doubt, there is no one in our class that can challenge him and some of my classmates have tried only to have failed miserably. I wonder if he was similar the monks in my class who are always shit-talking, joke-cracking, pranking on each other.

After about 6 months, the monks and nuns from the Advanced Hindi Teachers Training course left us this Friday. They will finish the remainder of their course at the Central Institute for Higher Tibetan Studies in Sarnath near Varanasi. They have also been studying some Sanskrit here and they will continue further Sanskrit study at the Sarnath campus. It was very sad to see them go, they were some cool folks. There is no official affiliation between Sarah and Sarnath. The Sarnath School has more to offer as compared to Sarah. They have classes in Hindi, English, Sanskrit and Pali. They have classes in Buddhist philosophy but no debating; they have Tibetan culture classes just like Sarah and they also teach Tibetan medicine. I have some friends who attend there and in fact, one of my classmates was a student there before enrolling in our course. The degree you receive from Sarnath is called an Acharya (slon dpon) equivalent to a Master’s degree which takes 6 to 7 years to complete. They also have a multiple majors were at Sarah they really only have the Bachelor’s in Tibetan culture degree (rig gnas rab jams pa).

The monk from their class, the one who always came to our debates, came to the last few still giving it to us good. He tore into me really well on Thursday night, but I held up better than I did at the beginning and I learn so much from listening to him even if I am not on the receiving end. Yesterday before he split, we held a small function in the temple to give our appreciations and thanks to this monk and he gave some great advice. He has been helping us out a lot. He studies at Sera Je monastery in South India. Although he is not a Geshe he has been studying for 17 years. He told us that when he started as a young neophyte studying the “Presentation of Collected Topics” that there were 300 hundred monks in his class and that now maybe only 60 or 70 monks are left. Though it took them three years to study what we do in one, he said that that might be a better way to go for many did not understand much even after three years in his class, he also said that we are doing pretty good giving some praises to one of our exceptional students. He said that many of them when they started were not very serious and he took several leaves of absences saying that he held the record in his class for take the longest. This monk is from Ladakh and a village mate of his who is studying at IBD asked him if he could help our philosophy class on the path of reasoning and so that is how he came to be involved with us. We had tea and snacks together and our class made an offering to him for all the help that he has provided us. The advice that he gave us was really inspiring and it forced us to think about the reasons and our intentions for undertaking this study. Many do it so that they can be called a great scholar, but really what does being a great scholar really mean.

He told this story: back in antiquity there was a famous South Indian Buddhist monk who was renowned throughout the land for being extremely learned. One day he runs into a simple villager by a beach that recognizes the scholar. The villager asked him, “So you are a great scholar (mkhas pa, paNDita)?” to which the monk replied, “Yes”. “Are you a scholar in swimming? I am! I can swim all the way to that island you see out there in the sea and back” said the villager. “No” replied the monk. “Hmmm….Well, are you a scholar of house building or agriculture? I am!” “No” replied the monk again. “Well how can you call yourself a great scholar? Even if you know one thing very well but are ignorant of most things you can’t call yourself a great scholar. Only and only when one has achieve liberation from cyclic existence can one truly call themselves a great scholar”, said the villager. To this the monk realized the truth and power to the words spoken by this simple villager. So through this story the monk told us, doing this only to be recognized as a scholar is pointless and should not the goal, in short “Keep yo’ eyes on the prize.” I am going to miss this monk and his other classmates and I know that I am not the only one; I hope all best for all of them at Sarnath and beyond and hope to cross paths again to the future.

Lastly, last night being of course the Friday before the second Saturday of the month, we had an all-night debate, though when I think about it, the name all-night debate is misleading as you may already know. In Tibetan it is too misleading. It is called a tshe me damja (tshad med dam bca’) which if translated directly comes out a measureless thesis or proposition; measureless here referring to time since these debates go on for hours instead of the usual hour and a half. But it is measured for we debate for up to 5 hours. But I saw something somewhere that there is a particular measure for the three immeasurable countless eons (bskal pa grangs med gsum, trikalpAsaMkhyeya)! How can that be? It is just one of those things that will probably never make sense to me.

So we had our all-night debate and for preparations, one of our classmates asked the Ladakhi monk for suggestions on making debates because none of us have a clue how to do so and he told us that what they do in his monastery is to take the group in to the middle of woods. Each member brings a doubt and everyone takes turns as defender while the rest challenge as a group until the debate becomes smooth. So we tried that, one group went to the classroom, one stayed in the temple and we went to the courtyard but it did not go according to plan though we had some excited and hilariously impromptu debates. Nevertheless, that night all the debates where really hot and intense, all the groups debated topics from the “Presentation of Sign and Reasonings” and the tension in the temple that night was thick but also with these things there are tons of tensions breakers too.

I noticed that as a group we are getting more accustomed to everyone debate style as defenders and as challengers. I have been very keen on this observation but I am still struggling on how to describe the various styles that I witness daily, the way a one person face crinkles when they are thinking, the look of the eyes when deep in thought or when they think that they have gotten you cornered and many other more subtle moments that occur. Especially so as a challenger, everyone has their style which is like a fingerprint, none are the same, and they too vary as the intensity of the debate goes along, with some becoming more and more dynamic in their movements. When the debates get über intense like they did last night I can not help but laugh my ass off for some reason. Still though, my favorite part about all-night debates is the food, the cooks hooked up some dank ass thenthuk for us that was just ‘ugh!’ We all sit together and enjoy each others company whereas before we took food together it looked like everyone was about to kill each other. This is an interesting thing about this course, though emotions get intense so far not one takes it to heart and I think that if this class was all Americans instead that fights would have broken out and egos damaged long ago.

Pax

P.S. If you are interested in looking further into the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness”, I recommend that you look at “Mind in Tibetan Buddhism” by Lati Rinbochay Translated by Elizabeth Napper. The text that we memorize is translated there with additional commentary.

Silly Rabbit Trix are for Kids!

2011-02-09T18:55:00.001+05:30

This week seems to have been one of transitions all around the world. Thursday brought many Asian nations into the year of the Rabbit. Silly rabbit, trix are for kids! My classmates from these respective countries, Singapore, Korea, Taiwan and Vietnam showered us with treats galore, it felt like Christmas, well not really but close enough. I learnt and forgot how to say Happy New Year in three different Asian languages. I could tell that they must have missed being at home for these times. The Tibetan New Year is just around the corner, the Iron Hare year, but I am sure that it is not the same.

As the main Election Day for the Tibetan exile community comes looming on the horizon, one of the candidates running for the Kalon Tripa (Chief Executive Position) Tethong Tenzin Namgyal gave a speech on Monday in Tibetan for the general campus audience and in English for the study aboard students. It was my first time seeing anything of the sort, like a politician running for office laying down why he or she is doing so and why anyone should vote for them, campaigns for school president clearly don’t count. Back at home when folks run for these kinds of things one only sees them on the tube but rarely gets the chance to see how they are like in the flesh. I remember in college on two separate occasions when I attended impromptu discussions with Ralph Nader and Angela Davis but that was long after they had ran and lost for whatever offices they were running for.

This candidate was just as far as I could see an average middle-aged Tibetan guy, most particularly for the fact that he was very humble which is what I mean by average. Putting yourself out there can be seen as a bit uncouth around here, but still I guess that coming for the Amerilandia one expects a politician to be full of pompous snazz and bullshit rhetoric. This fellow seemed very honest and he seemed to me that he understands the Tibetan political situation very well. His experience is all across the board from day one which is undisputable and quite impressive but does that mean that he will make a good leader for the Tibetan people? I definitely do not possess the wisdom to know so. I have not been able to follow too closely with the election, beside what I heard from the rumor mill.

The other top candidate Dr.Lobsang Sengay seems to be really popular. I have read some of his articles, an intelligent, ambitious young man, no doubt. I wonder if he will come to Sarah and give his spiel now that Tethong la spoke here. If he comes I would be interested in hearing what he has to say now that I have heard the other guy. I know that he is popular because he’s got a Harvard law degree, at least that what many students that I know who support him have told me, I am sure that he must have other redeemable qualities suitable for the position besides that he went to Harvard Law School. Just because one graduated from an Ivy League school don’t mean dick about being a good and effective leader. George W. Bush graduated from Yale woopdy fucking doo and look how far that brought us. When there is trouble don’t call G.W!

It appears that the raid on the HHK home at Gyüto Monastery in Sidhbari has taken the Tibetan exile community by shock. The Indian media, from what I hear from the students, has been throwing all kinds of allegations to HHK about being a Chinese spy with no evidence what so ever. It seems to me that an anthill was turned into a mountain, if it would have happened to some zero no media and no sensationalist bullshit would have transpired. The community seems to have taken it to heart though and candlelight vigils and protest marches were held in support of HHK. My classmates wanted to go on Tuesday but Gen la said that we have too much to cover in class especially with the exam coming soon, if it was any other time it wouldn’t have been a problem. Many of students from the other classes went though and Sarah was almost a ghost town that day. Us, foreign students have to be really careful about participating in these kinds of things. I have no qualms about going to a protest march demonstrating against the P.R.C. but this one having a more local feel to it and directed towards the Indian law enforcement made me feel uneasy, partly because my stay in India as a foreign student could be liquidated since such act could be seen as directed towards India. Also it is the Superintendent of Police that has to stamp my registration permit. Though I might just be paranoid, it is better to be safe than sorry.

I think that this issue has other deeper concerns too, like Tibetan stability within India. I seriously cannot think of any other country in the world that would do to another group people what the Government of India has done for the Tibetans. It is quite amazing, this actually could, I might risk saying, be the reason why Tibet and its heritage was not totally wiped off the map and the minds of the globally conscious around the world. They totally allowed them to set up shop, their own schools, businesses, government, religious institutions, etc. Most of this was probably due to Pandit Nehru though there are other issues on that front. Though they live in India, Tibetans have their own gig almost totally independent, in an insular fashion, from India as far as living is considered. I say almost because at times they do clash and it is not always pretty. I remember when I first came to Dharamshala in ’05 and I was talking with the director of the NGO that I was volunteering for and he told me, “You know, we have been here for more than 50 years now and though I am totally grateful for all that the Indian Government has done for us Tibetan people, I still wonder how much longer they will put up with us?” That gave me a lot of food for thought. Some students asked Tethong la how stable and protected are the Tibetans in India? Especially after HHDL finally passes to the other side what then? Thus obviously it is a thought that is out there. Also it seems that the negative media that the Tibetans are experiencing could be touching that extremely sensitive but worrisome spot.

On Thursday, Gen la finished the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” and Friday started the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” (blo rig) an introduction into Buddhist psychology so to say. Again, Gen la jokingly said that we will be entering new territory but I am still lost in the land of signs and reasonings and I am screaming like a corn-fed Offie, “Heeeey yooooou, Guuuyyys wait up! But there is not too much that I can really do about it. Ergo since the exam is on the way, I have been focusing on finishing the memorization of the main “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” text; I had about two/ thirds done at the beginning of the week and know I am almost to the middle. I have been using the mandatory study time from 2 to 4pm for downloading plus about an hour from 4 to 5pm. So since about Tuesday I have been doing 3 hours of downloading a day, which is über intense. But I have made some serious head way and at this rate I could be done with it before the exam.

The text that we are using for studying the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” was written by the founder of I.B.D. and Sarah College, Lobsang Gyatso a.k.a Gen Dampa. The full title of his text is the “Compendium of the Important Points in the Presentation of Types of Awareness, [an Internal Division of ] the Greater Path of Reasoning” (rigs lam che ba blo rigs kyi rnam gzhag nye mkho kun btus), gotta love these long winded Tibetan titles. After the exam I should have more time to focus on this topic, but since we are behind schedule I have a feeling that Gen la will be going through the text rather rapidly.

I have had a small mystery on my hands or just a lucky accident. I had exhausted all but ten of my cell phone minutes last week and one day after lunch I find a text saying at my phone was recharged. No doubt I was extremely happy that my phone was recharged on minutes, but I could not for the life of me figure out who the hell would have done it. I asked all my friends and none of them did it and so it must have been an accident. Though the chances are highly unlikely that just might be the case, I could possibly be that anomaly where some stranger whose phone number is close to mine but who got it incorrect on their side and correct on my side thus causing my phone to be recharge. Shit, I definitely can’t complain though I hardly use my phone any old how besides as a calculator or for telling the time. Sometimes I go weeks without a receiving a single call or text, beside spam.

In the same vein, this week has been one of gifts at least for me; I have gotten more gifts this week than I have received in a very long time. It is a huge mystery to me, they have come from various different sources, and maybe it is in the stars or something. I know, it is such a lame excuse, right! For it is nothing of my own doing, for I always tend to think if I deserve it and my answer is more positively no! I have been a zero all my life and will probably leave this body as one, which is both comforting and very scary at the same time. Regardless, I am extremely touched almost to tears by all these seemingly random gift giving acts, my appreciation knows no bounds.

For the past couple of days the sounds of drums, trumpets and bhangra music have been filling the airs in and around Sarah. The weather has made a tremendous change, just last week I was in four layers of clothes plus a down coat and since about Wednesday I have been slowly peeling off the layers. Thursday morning was the first morning this year that I realized that the sun is started to shine in my room. My first waking sight that morning, interestingly after they had been in my dream that prior night, was streaks of rainbow light shining on the wall above my bed. I have hanging in front of my window two crystal balls that emit rainbows when the sun shines on them. It was a most happy and welcomed sight for sure. A good sign I hope.

A wedding seems to have been going on for the pass two or three days and it might have been more than one. Last night I saw two sets of lights, one more nearby and another, a ways across the ravine. The mixed sound of canned and live music mixed in my ear drums. As I was studying last night the unmistakable dirty, boom, cha boom cha of a reggaeton beat reached my ears. At first I thought that it must of have been a mistake, an audial hallucination, but I stepped out on the veranda and sho’ nuff, Daddy Yankee was blasting from the wedding up the road. I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard, “¡Dame mas gasolina!” blurted all around Sarah. Even though the dancing at Indian weddings are very lively, they tend to be gender segregated. So I knew that the possibility of any perrero happening at that party was nil, no “Dale duro, dame duro papi dame mas duro”, oh well, a bro can still dream right. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a lil’ perrero very now and then right, playing off of R. Kelly. Anyhow, I think I have exhausted myself for this Saturday. I am happy for the heat, sunlight and rainbow.

Pax

P.S. Though I have not been able to get the full news, the revolution that seems to be happening all over the Arab world should have your attention if it doesn’t already. Why? I dunno. I find to the whole thing most interesting. Freedom ain’t goin’ come ‘til ya regulate it!

Water Bearer in Da’ House

2011-01-30T21:11:00.002+05:30

We were treated to some very talented lil’ jits the other night, the Charity of White Tara were supposed to have had a concert on campus two weeks ago but due to the weather they were not able to come and so they came down on Monday and did it up. Like last year, these kids show an incredible amount of talent and bravery. I say this because in a certain sense they did not seem to have held too much inhibitions like many of my schoolmates tend to show. Many of the performers had great stage presence.

Of course there were a lot of the usual things seen at Tibetan variety shows but the quality was more refined than usual. Also to add, a street dance routine was thrown in the mix with a group of young Tibetan boys showing off their top rockin’, windmillin’ and pop n lockin’ skills claiming that they are the future. When I saw this I thought, though b-boyin’ started in the hoods and barrios of South Bronx by Blacks and Latinos kids, the moves that were created there, created in the tempered fire of battling crews who wanted nothing but street cred’ has now in some ways become a part of the global domain without copyrights and patents. The MC was totally hilarious having the crowd rolling in there seats with sidesplitting talk of beautiful girls and handsome boys. They also performed a skit that was a spinoff of a popular T.V. show was done with devastating humorousness.

I sat with some of my classmates who were thoroughly enjoying the extravaganza. One of my classmates told my the look at the principal who was seating front stage center because he seemed to have donned a stern façade especially during a couple dance performance which according to Sarah standards might have been rather risqué. There were some solo female dances that had some, god forbid, hip movements. Anyways, maybe the performers were influenced by the spirit of the water bearer to strut their stuff, to shake what their mama gave them, Tibetan style of course. Their overall performance was excellent and I look forward to seeing them perform if they visit Sarah again next year. Their show definitely made my week.
Gen la is almost finished with teaching the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” through I have only gotten half way through the text. I guess he will start the “Presentation of Mind and Awareness” (blo rig gi rnam gzhag) next week sometime. We have a little under a month until our exam and it makes a lot of us nervous to think about it.

This morning the news about a raid on the HHK’s residence at the Gyutö Tantric monastery in Sidhbari where a booty load of cash of various currencies from all around world was found and confiscated, has been the talk of the campus, though no one knows in detail what’s the dealee’o is, it is of definite concerns to many of my schoolmates. We will see and hear the situation as whatever rumors are floated about by the Dhasa rumormill is circulated, whose reliability is rather dubious. I think I will leave this entry at that and I hope that you are feeling loved where ever you are at.

Pax

What is the Meaning of the Third Precious Jewel?

2011-01-26T19:18:00.003+05:30

Even when one loves what they are doing with their life, a plethora of insecurities still manages to arise and reigns havoc in ones mental stream. In my case, due to the rapidity of going through the lessons and the feeling of not being able to keep up, I have pushed the blame onto myself as an inadequacy within my own being, the incapacity to learn at the appropriate rate. I have already mentioned that what we study for the first year is traditionally done in three years. Now that we have been studying “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” for the pass two months or so and the fact that our yearly exam looms, I have been feeling that I am unable to so because I get the feeling that I do not have what it takes. I see my classmates moving and advancing in their studies and in their comprehension of the subject matter and I am not anywhere near their level. I know that a major part of it is that the Tibetan language is not my first tongue and so my Himalayan classmates who at the beginning class were struggling with the most basic reasoning sequences which we studied, those reasoning sequences that I had found simple, have now surpassed my level of understanding.

I started to feel really bad about myself and when I do that I tend to sleep a lot as a coping mechanism. But for this course it is not a very good one since it caused me to miss some class time, which for sure is not smart. As I slept to avoid my insecurities, my classmates had concerns for me. I did not give any reason to my lack of appearance and they started to come to my room to ask me what the hell was wrong. I felt that my classmates wouldn’t understand my predicament but after my third day of such nocuous behavior, our class captain visited me bringing me some Kinnauri apples from his home village since I had not eaten much throughout this time, I knew that I was acting like a total bitch. The next day I went to talk to Gen la and it was a great thing to do. It was the first time that I had had a one on one with him. He fed me and he told me that there is nothing more important to do with my life than being in this course. Though I am a weak student, I am not the worse. I do study hard and it might take me several years to get fluent with this process. I think that Gen la has some understanding of what western students go through in the study of Buddhist philosophy through the dialectical method. It is not easy for Tibetans and I can not expect to be on par with them at the beginning. He told me that my expectation level is too high and now that I have not met up with my expectation I started beating myself over it and there is actuality no point in it. Genuine wisdom takes time to manifest, but in order for it to do so the work must be done, which I am in the process of doing. As long as I continue then it will come. I told him that I was feeling like I have not improved that all, but he said that that is of course not true even though I feel that way. I listened carefully to what he said. It is funny because I know all those things that he mentioned but hearing it from him helped me snap out of it.

Later on that day, some classmates, a nun of Singapore and a Korean layperson who were concerned about me asked me where I was for the pass few days and when I told them what my deal was, they were so encouraging and they told that they too go through the same motions, these students I admire so much for they really took to the process and are excelling wonderfully and they have these feelings though they have better coping mechanisms. We tend to look at the other and compare ourselves with each other, which is really damning. We must learn to overcome such tendencies. Oh, how I have struggled with this theme! When I think about it, it is really that childish aspect in all of us to do so. It might be the case that we have been accustomed of doing so since kindergarten and it some respects we are indoctrinated to do so by our teachers. Since then we are taught that if we want to succeed in life we must strive to be the best. And of course, in one sense this is natural. Just look at all the things we give recognition to, the person with the highest G.P.A, making the honor roll, graduating college summa cum laude, the highest this and best that and it goes on and on. I have never in my life been the best in anything and through out my life so far I have just accepted it. But when I reflect on it, this has had some detrimental consequences in my life. Maybe if my high school teachers pretended that they cared more or interfered more I might not have skipped a lot of class to smoke pot with my friends and maybe I would not have even had those friends to get high with if their teachers pretended to care for them. Maybe if my pre-algebra teacher did not make me stand in front of the classroom several times my sophomore year, promising to give extra-credit to those students who could resist the longest from the temptation to laugh at me since I was so damn funny looking, I might have done my pre-algebra homework or even taken interest in studying it. Of course, it took only a second of looking at me before the whole class erupted in laughter; no one got the extra-credit, what a jip! I was the only black kid in that class and a rather feeble looking one at that, my teacher was black and was also the coach of the J.V. Basketball team. Maybe he thought that such humiliation would boast my confidence level, you know put some hair on my chest as they say, but that failed horribly.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, just by looking at me and other people of a certain demographic, financial status, I was automatically not expected to achieve anything. My guidance counselor could not find his way around campus nonetheless try to provide proper guidance to a troubled youth as myself. To be fair I had two incredible teachers who did care, but by the time that I had met them it was too late. I was pushed to take the least demanding classes whose population was filled with others who were not expected to accomplish a damn thing in life, the rouge crew of gangbangers and freaks. I found an odd comfort being a loser. If I skipped school to get high or came to school high as a kite, they did not care or intervened. I and us others were a hopeless cause not worth the bother. And now, all those years later after being homeless, after finishing college, I am here in India and luckily I have found something that I love but that old mentality created during those high school years which partially happened without my total awareness is popping up. In high school I only had two main academic interests, music and the environment, and I probably could have succeeded in those fields but I lacked any encouragement from my seniors. With what I am studying now, my interest level is higher than it has ever been and I felt that that would have been enough to make rapid progress. But I now see that that is not the case and I automatically turn that lack into a serious and inherent insufficiency within myself.

That night which was a Wednesday, a Vietnamese nun who has been my classmate since 2007 when we both started the Tibetan language foundation course called me. The first thing she said was that she looks up to me; I was taken aback. She said that she admired how hard I have worked and all the progress I have made with the Tibetan language. We are all very lucky to be where we are at and by the strength of each of our internal shadows, it cause us to easily overlook that fact. Most importantly she told me that though we are taught in the Buddhadharma to have compassion for others, we must have compassion for ourselves, first and foremost. So we all must first be happy. She brought tears to my eyes, I was so happy that she felt it worth it enough to call me and give me encouragement, it was through talking to her and my other classmates that I started to think about the third precious jewel (dkon mchog gsum, triratna). As a neophyte first encountering Buddhism, one learns about them and that a practitioner must take refugee in them and more importantly constantly reflect on them. They are the Buddha jewel (sangs rgyas dkon mchog), the Dharma jewel (chos dkon mchog) and the Sangha jewel (dge ‘dun dkon mchog). The very act of becoming a Buddhist is by taking refugee in these jewels but what do they mean.

The context of the third precious jewel, it has been traditionally viewed as taking refuge in the monastic community of Buddhist practitioners mainly through their support by the laity financially or otherwise. The word used in Tibetan gendun (dge ‘dun) is also an honorific title which monks are addressed as. Gendun could be translated as “the ones who are intent on virtue” while the Sanskrit Sangha shows the meaning of community or a group. In Hindi that is the connotation that it carries. Back at home, it appears that word Sangha seem to refer to only the people that are closely involved in ones particular Dharma group or center. Quite often, when I meet other Westerner Buddhists the question of which Sangha I belong to always pops up and I cannot answer that question. My interactions with Dharma centers have been mostly negative and I have felt a lot of racist overtones which has turned me off to the whole thing. But still, beginning with my dilemma and following it through with the care, consideration, encouragement that I have received from my teacher and my classmates, I focused more on what it means now as I study Buddhism more in depth. Our course is not only about the text we study or the philosophical position we adopt as we advance, it is also about all the other aspects of our lives as well. So far I have arrived to that, yes! It is a community but not just a community in the sense that we live together because we share similar demographic or socio-economic status. It seems to have the potential of being an emotional, stabilizing, encouraging powerhouse. A powerhouse that seems to include rather than exclude, one that seems to not let one slide so easily into unnecessary self-destructive behavior, one that focuses on a person’s strengths and their potential to increase it, one that is constantly putting one into check and forcing them to look deeper into ones actions, intentions, and ones mind carefully.

There is definitely a lot more that I could say, but I hope that one can get the gist of what I am trying to convey. The fact is that the Sangha was what encouraged me to peruse my highest potential from day one not the ones that did not care or who did not bother because it was my lot to be a zero. The Sangha does not have the capacity to see us as zeros but it has the immense capacity of seeing our inherent potential and holds us up to it. The Sangha sees the ultimate, elusive, ephemeral zero of all phenomenon, that motivating powerhouse of potential. This might be why the Tibetan word kunchok (dkon mchog) precious literally means something like supreme rarity. These jewels though existent are not found in abundance, our very societal paradigm of ‘me first’ tends to smother it.

Though traditionally the Sangha is seen as consisting of only Buddhist, I am willing to expand it further than that for myself, all those out there who have acted in such a way, that have helped or has been helped to seek the depths of their positive potential are apart of the Sangha. This has been a part of my minute life experience since so many folks have acted in such fashions and they have belonged to a cornucopia of faiths or some have claimed to not aspire to any religious creed but they all have made their positive uplifting impressions on me and have forced me to look deeper, they stepped outside the colloquial paradigm and looked for the potential not for the best. Although my vision of the Sangha might or might not coincide with the proper Buddhist view and so far I am not sure, I think that it a step in the right direction. We live on one planet and the Sangha is global, it is all of us and thus in turn, I will learn and will eventually habitualize myself so that I can be to others what so many have been to me and therefore enriching my taking refuge and my reflections. This is what I learnt this week.

Around 2:00am early Wednesday morning I was once again gyrated by the oscillating movements of the dorm. For about 4 or 5 seconds I heard that deep tenor-like cracking and rubbing of concrete and rebar in surround sound stereo. My ears were filled with this sound from everywhere and then it smoothly stopped. I expected to hear the bell being rung but only silence pursued. This tremor felt a lot stronger than the one that had struck in the fall and it seemed to have lasted longer but I guess everyone else was in a deep enough sleep that they did not feel the earth move under their bodies. Then the first thing I thought about was if an earthquake had struck in Pakistan or Afghanistan. A day later I read in the newspaper at a 7.4 earthquake struck in Pakistan at circa 1:39am hence taking the seismic wave about 20 minutes to travel and to rock Dharamshala. It was felt as far south as Hyderabad in Andhra Pradesh.

Since we did not have an all-night debate before the previous second Saturday we had it this week. Huge lamb mutton Amdo momos were cooked for us; this was the first time that a carnivorous dish was served at an all-night debate. It was definitely one of the liveliest debates that we have had as a class so far. There were really some fireworks going on that night. Some students definitely showed some distinction that night and I am very proud of them. Since the momos took a long time to cook, we did not take a break until pass 11pm and my group was still left to sit as defenders so we did not finish until 12:45am-ish.

That Saturday morning at 8:30 am, our class had our first outing. We rented a bus and we all crammed in and headed up to the village of Naddi above TCV. Some of my classmates had never seen snow up close before and so we used this day off to do so. It was the first time that I have been around snow since 2007. Sarah is too low for snow but just an hour ride uphill there was plenty to go around. As we passed Dal Lake we all noticed that it lacked water. It looked that it was being renovated, before the water was very muddy. Once we arrived, we stored all of our lunching items in a chai stall and headed on a road towards an International High School ran by a Sahaja Yoga Foundation, Gen la said that many foreign students study there. I remember that had I met a young Romanian lady who studied there a few years back when I was showing some friends around Dharamshala. On our walk to the school it as not too long before the group that I was walking with started receiving enemy snowball fire. Some monks had climbed up a bit up hill beside the road and with devastating accuracy started launching snowballs at us. At the first I wasn’t sure where they were firing from but once I found out I was able to send retaliating shots of my own. I had a feeling that this skirmish was just a taste of what was to come. The view of the mountains that morning was spectacular from Naddi.

The school was closed for the winter and no one said anything to us. We set up shop underneath an oak tree next to the parking lot of the school. The school seemed to consist of a three-storey high brick building constructed to emulate the Gaddi-style houses seen throughout the mountains in Himachel Pradesh. We saw some people but not one said a word. If this was U.S. we would have been kindly or not so kindly been asked to leave the premises with the quickness for trespassing. We took over the parking lot; we had snacks, threw volleyball around a circle, kicked some hacky sack and played badminton. Some one had brought some mini-Uno cards and once my classmates had gotten the hang of the game they were so loving on it and even though we had long pass our debates on colors many of my classmates still could not tell the difference between blue and green. A few times the volleyball went bouncing down the hill besides the oak tree and we all laughed as we watched a classmate trying to climb down the precarious slope over and over again to retrieve it. Some of the guys were getting a kick out of placing huge chunks of snow down each others shirts. I walked over to the school building and I noticed some posters illustrating the each of the seven chakras of the astral body one by one and what they meant, but it was all written in Hindi. I asked one of the guys who is good in Hindi to translate but he told me that the commentary on these posters had a lot of difficult language that he did not know.

At around lunch time we returned back to the chai-stall and had our lunch. Since Friday we had Tibetan food, for the picnic we had Indian food. Our Indian classmate cooked up some really nice egg curry and vegetable curry. He himself was unable to attend but we sure did enjoy his food. By that time also there were tons of Indian kids and families all over the place coming to get a chance to enjoy the snow. After we had eaten, through the strong urging of my classmates, they wanted me to rap and so a spat out an old one for them using a khachori, a flaky Indian breadstick, as a mike. A short while into the spitting session many of those snow-gazing tourists joined as an audience. They busted out their camera-phones quicker than a New York minute. Who knows want they thought when they saw our group, an odd conglomeration of Tibetan monks with a sprinkle of Aphro-America, Taiwan, Singapore, Korea and Vietnam.

For the rest of the afternoon, we scouted another spot not far from chai-stall that was located below the construction site of guest-house which was terraced. Some of the guys immediately started to play some cricket. I played tons of Uno for a good long time while drinking pop and various assortments of junk-food that had been brought with us. Eventually all hell broke loose though, it started with what seemed to be an innocent mis-aimed propelling snowball and it turned into an all out battle. Gen la was cautiously warning us that we could sick, but that was not enough, even Gen la got hit once as collateral damage. The battlefield consisted of three terraces plus the empty skeleton of a guest-house on top of that. Most of all of us got involved. It was just so brutishly hilarious. I had not been involved in such a snowball fight since grade school. Since I was on the low ground and being so stinking tall, I made an easy target but was able dodge a shit ton of incoming fire. No one was safe. Snowballs were such flying to and fro in utter chaos for about one solid hour and all the dirty tricks in the book were busted out in full. Below us we could see Gen la sitting cross-legged on a mat laughing so hard at the ridiculously absurd carnage that ensued before his eyes. Later, two guys had built a midget snowman and we all gathered around it and took pictures. We were all still giddy from the previous battle.

Throughout that entire outing, Gen la was cracking jokes the whole time. Before we left, he was trying to get some of us of take some of the leftovers; he gave me a whole piece of Amdo bread which is significantly bigger than regular Tibetan bread. He grabbed another piece and said that it could be used to play discus with, he assumed the position of a discus thrower about to throw it with the bread. That imagine was just so uproarious, Gen la in his maroon robe with a red scully on, his habitual sunglasses looking like he was about to launch big round chunk of Amdo bread into the abyss that laid a few yards below us, classic.

On a totally unrated side note, I saw Lhasang Tsering wondering around were we were kickin’ it at. It did not look like he was there to check out the snow. I remember seeing him walking solo around aimlessly. It just seemed so random to me. Whatever!

At 4pm our rental bus arrived and we all crammed back on in. We had lost some classmates along the way. Some went to the hospital, some who had never seen TCV went to check it out and some went to Lower Dhasa. The ones who went to TCV we picked up on the way down and we got another one at the bazaar but before too long we back in good ole’ Sarah. The campus was getting ready for a concert. The students from the Emory Tibetan Studies Study Abroad program had arrived the day before it was their welcome to Sarah concert. I ran into an old friend of mine who was with the same program but two years ago who was recently visiting Dharamshala. He has been travelling around India with a friend and it was so great to him, I was very happy. Also the director of the program this year is a friend and I was glad to see her back in da’ house.

And so after a week of various undulating tectonic plates, events, thoughts and emotions, I close with hope and an arrivederci.

Pax

P.S. I did not have internet access for awhile so two entries are posted today.

Über Gloomy Saturday 01-16-11

2011-01-26T18:10:00.002+05:30

Man! It was just beginning to have a feeling of warmth up around these parts. For a few days, the cold was held off by some solid days of clears skies and the bright shining face of our solar ruler, but and there is always a but, Friday greeted us with dark, dark clouds and cannon like booms of thunder. From the vantage point of our classroom, the strikes of lightning reaching its slender, quicksilvery tentacles extremely briefly towards the valley floor made it seem like a far off and terror stricken land, full of misgivings. The temperature suddenly dropped. I have already been having a hard time getting out of bed on time and this did not add any new incentives for doing so. By Friday night during group debate, we had the dual droppings of claps. The vicious piercing handclaps of our theses inside the temple, the claps of analysis jabbing at the defender’s assertions seeking their antonyms, the loose chink in the wall and the thunderclaps of the storm which seemed as if the demigods were both trying to take pictures of themselves with colossal cameras in poor lighting and like a war between negatively and positively charged electrons with their subwoofer-like booms rattling our innards.

Throughout the night, dreams upon dreams of apocalyptical combat filled my continuum, mixing awaken and somnolent worlds in a seamless stream of consciousness. Nature’s war of electrons that raged in the sky above appeared to have consumed us and made us participants, greasily peon foot soldiers, pawns, using us cheaply to promote their atmospheric but futile gambits. By morning even though the boom of attack and the sound of skirmishes had totally disappeared, the clouds of lasts night’s battle hung low and pervaded thickly through out all the land and hints of the potential for another epic battle were perceptible. The screams of the fallen, the fallen temperatures was hauntingly audible. These agonizing screams made ones blood curl and still as I sit here, I cannot tell if this was all dream, all a grand hallucination. All this caused me to reflect on my fascination and fantasy about storms as grand atmospheric battles.

Subconsciously, part of it I think came from being a teenager in South Florida were the language of battle was used by meteorologist on the boob-tube to describe the dangers and hazards of the multitude of tropical depressions, storms and hurricanes that frequented the state which stuck out into the Atlantic Ocean like sore thumb pronouncing its negation. The ominous names given to these beasts of rain and wind which brought within their whirling wings tornados performing an ole’ skool cavalry charge also added to the fear. I will never forget these storms. This language thus must have partially entered my subconscious though such subliminal means.

The first time that I remember that it started to surface into my awaken consciousness, was the first time that I had brought some “tickets to Oz” as an adolescent. I probably was no more than 16 years old when I ingested two of these blotter paper tickets. I had brought them from this wanna-be gangster kid that I knew from school. I was living at the time in Margate, Florida but went to school in Coral Springs and everyday I would ride my bike 30 to 45 minutes to and fro. My bike ride home that day began my first journey to Oz, I was curious as to how long the trip would last, I thought that it might be similar to my then habitual 4:20 excursions with my friends where after sometime one gets incredibly hungry and eats all the junk food that can be eaten which meant that within a few hours that one would be back to earth. I should have know better, I had done previous research about these supposed little blotter paper tickets with a picture of Felix the cat on them, which suggested hours and not a few of them by any means, as I found that day.

So I took the tickets, placing them in their habitual delivery slots like the ones on a municipal bus which upon impact send small electric-like shocks deep within my tongue, I then hopped on my bike and rode the 45 minutes back home. 25 minutes into the ride a storm was brewing really thick. I always rode my bike with the traffic and not on the sidewalk. I remember at one point looking up into the cloud filled sky, blazed with lightning, that all the dark formidable clouds that surrounded me overhead transformed themselves into frightful Greek chariots on the warpath before my very eyes. The details and the depths to these illusions were unexpected, they appeared to have possessed a life of their own that breathed and raged even though they were immensely huge. In my mind it seemed like these charioteers were on my side. The stormy sky was filled with tons of them plus phalanxes and other gruesome implements of ancient warfare. Time seemed to move backwards, but my body did not feel a thing. I was still on my bike and I was moving but all that must have been automatic. To me I felt like I was protected by these cumulonimbial warriors on the blood thirsty charge.

I guess that everyone’s first experience of journeying to Oz will be the most memorable though I was so young, stupid and immature then and only slightly more mature and less stupid now. My association of storms and war still circulate within me as it was made apparent by my dreams and my imagination last night and this morning.

On a side note I wished I had a fancy ass camera to take pictures of these great highland storms. The lightning show is just incredible, especially standing on the roof of the dorm, I know! not such a bright idea when you are over 6 foot tall, where exchanges of lightning between cloud happens right above your head, it takes up all of your peripheral vision and one feels like it could be touched. I wish I could take of picture of such moments but I don’t possess the skill or the type of camera to do so. My camera is pretty good but I have been having problems with it, like all the pictures I take come out super blurry. It never did that before, so I need to fuck around with the settings I guess and I might accidentally find a solution. That picture would be so rockin’ for sure.

In class as we further our studies of the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings”, as we pierce deeper into the implications that it involves, a concept has been coming up over and over again, it is called, valid or prime cognition (tshad ma, pramana). At this point, although since the beginnings of our course we have been flinging this term out at each other left and right but what it truly is appears as a phantasm. It is not entirely clear and when one tries to grasp it, it just flows like smoke between ones fingers. We do know so far that there are two kind of valid/ prime cognizers, 1) direct perception valid cognizer (mngon sum tshad ma, pratyakSa-pramANa), whose defining characteristic is: a new, incontrovertible, non-mistaken knower that is free from conceptuality (rtog pa dang bral zhing ma 'khrul ba'i gsar du mi slu ba'i rig pa). 2) Inferential valid cognizer (rjes dpag tshad ma, anumAna-pramANa), whose defining characteristic is: a knower that is new and incontrovertible with respect to its object of comprehension, a hidden phenomenon, in dependence upon its basis, a correct sign. (rang gi rten rtags yang dag la brten nas rang gi gzhal bya lkog gyur la gsar du mi slu ba'i rig pa).

Now, in the ‘Presentation of Signs and Reasonings’ we deal only with inferential valid cognizer since it seems to govern the realm of thoughts and concepts. But I have gone a bit off the topic and have been thinking about direct perception valid cognizer. This valid cognizer can only cognize things or as they are sometimes called functioning things (dngos po, bhava), whose defining characteristic is: able to perform a function (don byed nus pa, artha-kriyA-samartham). This means that any object which is able to produce its own effect is a function thing which significantly narrows things downs to those that are impermanent and within the Buddhist school which we having been studying, the Sutra School (mdo sde pa, sautrantika), functioning thing and impermanent are equivalent. It is said that for us ordinary beings who do not possess deep realizations, that only our initial moment of cognizing a functioning thing is direct and that the rest is inferential. According to its defining characteristic it also has to be free from conceptuality. This could be the reason why only our first moment of cognizing a functioning thing is considered valid, we also have to keep in mind that it is said that in some schools that there are 65 moments in a blink of an eye. Now, for beings such as the Buddhas of the universes, all their perception is said to be always direct. That is, they can even directly cognize the all atoms within a mountain. This means also that they cognize things free from conceptuality which I think that for most people this might seem a bit hard to swallow, but we won’t know until we achieve Buddhahood, right?

A doubt as arisen in my mind concerning this idea and since I have very minute knowledge into the topic being so fresh into my studies and it being a topic which takes years to grasp, it just might lead me to a thought experiment that I might be able to explore as we move beyond the introductory texts on valid cognition like we are doing now and into the realm of the Indian root texts. I was thinking about this one night as I was staring off into the night sky. Light travels and it take a certain though extremely miniscule amount of time to get from point A to point B in short distances. When this is blown up to astronomical proportions, let’s start with something near like the sun, what we are actually experiencing is the heat, light and radiation of the sun 8 minutes after it has left there. It would seem as though all of our dependence on the sun is truly a dependence on the sun eight minutes into the pass not on the present sun, of course without the present sun being the cause we on earth would be severally fubar-ed. Anyways, so even if the naked eye could look at the sun, it would not and could not look at the actual sun in the present moment because what one would be seeing would be an effect of the sun. If we were to move on to the stars being that many sit billions of light years away, the sense of our true microscopic-ness can be imagined.

But this idea can be applied to anything we perceive with the five senses but possibility less so with touch and taste. That same night that I was staring at the stars, I think that there was a black out in Sarah too because I was thinking about how we were enveloped by a pseudo-black hole since all the surrounding areas had electricity, I looked up the hill towards the lights shining from Naddi village and McLeod Ganj and looked at the lights shining from Kangra down in the valley. So all light travels, I am looking at lights from these places but in truth I am not seeing those lights in the present moment. Though the differential is absolutely subtle and my eye could not possibility perceive it, it is non-the-less true, right? And would not the same hold true to everything else that I see, including my own body? It is clear with sound, as in the case of storms, lightning and thunder are produced at the same time but since light travels faster than sound we hear the thunder of an approaching storm after the lightning has struck, unless it is right over your head. So, can the valid cognition of a Buddha defeat the processes of the physical universe? For obviously us as human beings, being a part of the physical universe, we seem to be locked in or subjugated by those processes. Maybe that is what it partially means to be enlightened, at least it is as close of an understanding as a gross and ignorant being such as myself could ever get up to for the time being. If we equate the physical universe with cyclic existence (‘khor ba, samsara) this could make some sense since achieving release from cyclic existence is a most valued aim.

So far, for us as ordinary beings, when we perceive something validly, that new, incontrovertible, non-mistaken knower that is free from conceptuality is then actually perceiving the pass directly, as in the valid cognition of a sunrise and if one is truly getting at that very first moment of light which has departed from the sun eight minutes ago, it is still unmistaken? According to the Sutra school the past and the future are non-existent leaving only the existent present moment. Would that mean that only things which are near at hand could be validly, directly perceived? This rant of questions has no end. For now from where I stand it is not known if the Buddhist masters of antiquity even thought of these things. Many of these ideas, as far as the speed of light are concerned, are brand spanking new ideas. I suck at mathematics so I would never have made a good physicist and I wonder if I would ever make a good dialectician either. Regardless, this is a path of exploration, exploration of the world in all it contexts from the internal to the external, from the subtle to the gross and vice versa. Though I am not a scientist I do have a lab of sorts, the imaginary lab of the mind and it the context of my course the lab of the debate courtyard where many thought experiments are investigated.

Now it is 5pm, the clouds have cleared just for a second and it looks like Naddi Village, TCV, and even McLeod Ganj received snowfall last night, the snow of the fallen from that great battle in the sky filling the ground not with red blood with pearly whiteness. There is supposed a concert on campus tonight; by a group called the Charity of White Tara (sgrol dkar byams brtse tshogs pa) and if I remember correctly it consists of talented TCV orphans doing various skits and musical performances. It is sponsored by a Taiwanese man who wants to provide a creative outlet to young Tibetan orphans who otherwise would not have gotten to the chance to do so. They performed around this time last year and I am sure that they will rock da’ house again.

Pax

Not in the know

2011-01-08T20:41:00.003+05:30

I totally missed out on a great event due to sheer ignorance. Really, ignorance is the homeostasis that all of us live with, like it or not, and we are unable to separate from it, like trying to separate the milk from water after it has done been mixed. The coldness of the weather has created the perfect conditions for staying in bed, but in truth I do not have that luxury though I have acted as if I did. With three layers of thick blankets, a sleeping bag and two rubber hot water bottles wrapped in a shawl to the size of a small baby, breaking out of this cocoon every morning has been quite the “FAIL” this week for me. This engulfing cocoon of warmth has it faults. For starters, the foundation on which I and it rests upon is too bloody small. I am 6’4” and my bed, in who makers obviously did not think that a tall and lanky pseudo-rasta-negroid would have to fit its stringy limbs on it, is 5’ 4”. In the summertime is it totally fine letting my big ‘ole feet dangle off the end of it but now I have to fold up like a flip and fuck in order to be completely contained within this nocturnal cocoon and this requires that I turn over every now and then because one side of my body eventually gets numb from the bloody rushing to that side. One night I wished that I had a human-sized hot water bottle wrapped in a shawl to cuddle with at night just to create the illusion of embracing or spooning. But alas, these thoughts in the end must be allowed to do their natural business in the mind so that they will eventually dissolve into the flowing stream of other arising thoughts.

A solar eclipse it was, it had happen on Tuesday on this side of the globe and I was perturbed that I had missed the event when I saw it mentioned in the newspapers on Wednesday. I had not seen any thing about it prior when I think about it. I figure that I would have noticed it if were in the papers but I must have missed it. With my gradually arising lunar-philia (I have this odd notion that my crusty butt is somehow connected the moon) missing this felt like being stood up by a lover. I was really distraught. I remembered my experience of seeing a partial solar eclipse the year before and after it was done I thought or felt that I would not see another. That might be the case as it stands now. I am just amazed that it happened again and at least it can be said that there is some hope of witnessing another again and that I would need to be more attentive, keeping my eyes open to the possibility of it.

A few days after the solar eclipse, after the set sun had rendered the lower horizon of the western sky in a lengthy panorama of layered and whispery pinks, reds, maroons and oranges, above in the dark purple-violet of the near encompassing night smiled the pearly white smile of the Cheshire cat with a visible invisible shadow above it that completed the rest of its missing lunar circle. I mentally welcomed it back knowing that each evening the smile will grow wider and wider. I was glad to see it more directly, even though sensing its presence as it blocked the sun’s eight minutes worth of light would have been way gnarlier.

On that day of solar and lunar conveyances, Sarah was visited by an American scholar of Tibetan Culture and History; at least I presume that to be his profession, from Indiana University, Bloomington. Prof. Elliot Sperling spoke about Tibetan History, the issues of Tibetan independence found in ancient annals and how some of these annals have been used to justify Tibet as a part of China since antiquity by the Chinese propaganda machine. This has been the first time that I have seen a western scholar of Tibet visiting Sarah and the first time that I have heard one give the entire lecture in Tibetan. I was quite impressed to say the least and I know that my schoolmates were initially shocked for it was a first for them too. But he laid it down really well. I can say that many Sarah students study their history very well. We have a well-known Tibetan Historian on campus and though I have never taken any of his classes, I have interacted with his students and chatted about Tibetan history and history in general with them. So they know their shit. So having an American scholar busting it out straight up to them in Tibetan must have been a bit of shock to them.

He also demonstrated his knowledge of the Chinese language and Chinese history, especially when and where it dealt with Tibet, how Tibet was perceived by the Chinese throughout various historical annals written for different Chinese dynasties. He talked about pass Mongolian, Manchurian, Tibetan relations and it was quite fascinating. Also he mentioned a by-gone Tibetan-Mongolian treaty that I have never heard of. In a way, I felt that he was trying to impress on the students that they should have the feeling of responsibility towards their own history. To search through the many histories that exist out there in Tibetan alone will be great. I think many of them know this already. He definitely was not an advocate of the “middle way approach” taken by Tibetan Government in Exile as its main policy with the P.R.C. and he mentioned that here is an idea floating out there that maybe the Tibetans in Tibet can fight for their rights just as African-Americans did in the U.S. during the Civil Rights movement of the ‘60’s and maybe even have their own Obama, a Tibetan president of P.R.C. someday. When he mentioned this I laughed. I hope that these ideas are not taken seriously because it is utter non-sense and would be a major folly if pursued with any seriousness.

One funny little side note, as Prof. Sperling was giving his lecture the college secretary approached me and asked me if I could help the professor during the question and answer session that was to take place after the talk in case he did not understand the questions from the students. I was a bit confused at the request, for one, why me? and for two, an Inji guy giving a lecture on Tibetan history to Tibetans in Tibetan is not going to need my help. I told the secretary that I would but as my intuition told me Prof. Sperling had no major problems with understanding the questions.

With the coming of the HHK to campus we had to do some major cleaning. Our class was in charge of cleaning the temple but the cleaning was more meticulous than our normal Saturday afternoon cleanings. I saw the temple bare and naked for the first time. All the thangkas of past Buddhist masters were brought down; the upper balcony area was cleaned as was all the temple windows. Since I had the height to get at places my “too short” classmates could not reach I cleaned the top windows, also standing on a shaky, rickety wooden ladder I clean fans, lights and the huge thangkas. It gave me an opportunity to see these massive works of art up close for the first time even though I was feather dusting them. Our classroom on the top floor was also being macked out. We had no class for all of Thursday due to this mass cleaning which was accompanied by some horse play including explaining the profound symbolism behind the number 69 as it was written on one of my classmate’s shirt. In retrospect, I realized that that was not proper temple cleaning talk but they were persistent in wanting to know what was soo funny about that number. It seems like some of my schoolmates come to me to ask the meanings of some very inappropriate though unknown words, like how someone asked me one day during lunch in front of everyone what did the word “mercy fuck” meant. My mouth about dropped the ground. There is not even a Tibetan word for these kinds of things and if there was I sure don’t know it. What to do? Anyways, we cleaned that temple like nobody’s beeswax; some of girls of the other classes came and gave us a hand also. I heard that some of my classmates were in the temple until 9 that night cleaning and also helping prepare the classroom for our holy visitor.

There are a bunch of extra Tibetans floating around campus for the Tibetan College student’s conference and this is why HHK was coming. Also the Prime Minister Samdhong Rinpoche and Gyari Dolma appeared too. The road leading into the campus was decorated with drawings of the eight auspicious signs (bkra shis rtags brgyad, ashtamangala), which was done by the students. A colorfully elaborate gate was erected at the beginning of campus. We all lined the both sides of the road holding burning sticks of incense and kataks waiting for the guests to arrive that Friday morning. First arrived Samdhong Rinpoche and then Gyari Dolma and then with a sound of a siren came HHK and then all of them were led up to our pimped out classroom on the top floor. The rest of us crammed into the temple. Once everyone was in, after a short wait, they entered the temple and took their seats with HHK seating in the middle in the front of HHDL throne, Samdhong Rinpoche on his right and Gyari Dolma on his left.

Buttered tea and scrumptious ceremonial rice was served to all of us. Afterwards many speeches were given, which was started by our beloved principal who bored the crap out of us with his talk about the all the goals and accomplishments of the college. That didn’t set a good precedent of attention for the other speakers. All the guests spoke, with HHK being the main speaker along with the opening of the conference’s official website written in English and Tibetan, and some writing awards were handed out. It was done in about two hours I think. We all marched out of the temple and lined the road as we had done two or so hours prior. The participants of the conference had their pictures taken with the guest and then they were off. That was that. All those hours of cleaning and preparation for about two hours of visit; it is well sure that the temple will probably not receive another cleaning like that in a long time to come.

A special lunch was prepared for us. Sam, an American student, and his mother visiting from stateside were here also and I had lunch with them on the court in front of the girl’s dorm. We had to resume the rest of the day’s schedule meaning mandatory study at two o’clock and debate that night. Since it was a second Saturday week we should have had an all-night debate but since we had to prepare for the guest it was canceled, maybe even postponed until next week. Instead, what we did was extend the normal debate session by an hour and instead of having our usual Friday night small group debates we had more of a freestyle debate with the entire group, two different groups of defenders sat there 3 folks at a time. Of course, the monk from the Advanced Hindi Teacher’s Training course eventually showed up and did his thing. We were given tea and lots offering biscuits to eat. As the thesis was raging, I was hoping and wishing that it the future that I will store up enough courage to join in the challenge when we have group debates like this. I stink now so I can’t do it. They had me try once last week in our smaller group debate and I totally bombed it with the other guys looking at me with shame as to my suckiness; at least I tried though I was embarrassed. But also, as I have said, I much prefer one on one debates than group ones.

Before the debate started, one of my classmates, who owns an I-Pod touch with wireless internet on it came to where I was sitting pretty, drinking sweet milk tea and hide & seek cookies to show me a picture of me that another classmate had found on a Tibetan newspaper’s website. I was a bit surprised, for at first it did not register what the website was or why was my picture in there; also my classmate stated that it had come out this year. So I was bit confused and then I remembered that about a year and a half ago a Sarah alumna had interviewed me for a Tibetan newspaper. But afterwards I did not think anything of it until now; I mean I did even bother to ask her the name of the newspaper she worked for which I now know is called the Mirror of Society (spyi tshogs me long). Anyways, what my friends had found was that article which was released in January of 2010 and it took more than a year after the interview for me to see it.

Anyways, I think that that is enough of my ranting for the day. Every time I write I wonder if anything that I write is really interesting enough to read. Sarah is a very chill place and it is not like I am writing about living the high life in Las Vegas or some European city like Madrid. I guess I just hope that I am able to keep your attention and that when you read this you are not falling asleep. I have promised myself that I will try my best to write every week and I do put a lot of effort into it. This rant is mostly about my own insecurities coming up, but also I don’t want to be putting stuff out there that not one gives a rat’s ass about either. Anyways, this blog gets me writing and gets my ideas and feelings out of my claustrophobic brain of mine. Aite, I gotta bounce, C ya.

Pax

P.S. This time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
- Lewis Carroll-

01-01-2011

2011-01-02T20:09:00.002+05:30

How does one digest a cold week comingled with melancholia, wonder, and minute lackadaisia? The normal kaleidoscope of sensations appeared subtle yet powerful as the week and thus the year of 2010 ended forever. The melancholia is hard to pin down; my mind was flooded with reviews of my pass from 1995 until now. I thoroughly looked at each memory and did my best to acknowledge the wealth of all those experiences and I tried to remember that in some way they had led me to where I am now. Another part to the melancholia, I think was because I have not felt sadness, for myself at least, in quite some time which is badass because since adolescence I have always been in the habit of cultivating that low-esteem, self-depreciating view, and now those emotions were keeping me in reality in a certain way, in a humbling way. It is as if the emotions themselves were telling me, “You have worked hard, but you are far from finished”. I know that this is probably not new many any of you but this has been a hard battle for me and it has been nice that I have not suffered from them until recently. I know that these and any emotions for that fact do not last forever and that is my joy and my weapon that will hopefully lead to the gradual elimination or influence of these emotions that I have harbored since high school. Ugh! How childish can I be? Even as an adult?

One day in class Gen la spoke briefly about meditation. It is quite apparent that most of my classmates do not meditate though I think that some of them will eventually take to the practice. He was talking about that how now a days in the western world, the word ‘meditation’ is connected to only a kind of relaxation period were the mind can just blank out. He said that this concept is severely flawed for he believed that such a concept implied that the mind did not have to do any work, where in fact it is the opposite. There is a lot of work involved, not just blissing out. He told the class that for beginners it is good to take a particular scriptural passage and contemplate over it, word by word, phrase by phrase. This suggestion is also popular in many other Indian religious traditions as well. He added that this practice is closely tied to the practice of memorization in its entirety. As one verbally recites the object to be memorized one can not help but not think about what one is memorizing. It is true in some sense, but I do feel that if the mind is more focused during the memorization session then that can turn into a powerful and insightful practice.

When I am downloading my text I always bring my mind back to the object, just I would during meditation and though I might not understand what I am downloading at the time, when Gen la explains the passage I have it with a pretty good beginning clarity to start digging on the meaning. But there is a danger, I was warned by a senior international dialectics student that if one forces the mind during memorization instead of calmly and naturally bringing the mind back to the object there is a risk of suffering from ‘wind (rlung, vayu)’ disorder, which is similar to what we see in the west as a beginnings of a nervous breakdown. I remember when I started studying Tibetan at Cornell the summer of ’04 when someone pointed out to me that the bridge I was walking on which hovers over a high gorge was known to having at least one law school student per year jump into the gorge from all the stress of school; here that might have been considered as an untreated wind disorder. Anyways, I stopped and looked over the railing and hocked a big ole’ loogy over the side, I counted 20 seconds until it disappeared below me, that’s a long way down, boys!

Continuing, with this practice it really takes the individual to be mindful of the mental process as one memorizes or we end up like what Gen la called, “Those who recite the four immeasurables but are only thinking about the ‘I’”, The four immeasurables are: 1) May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness; 2) May they be free from suffering and the causes of suffering; 3) May they never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering; 4) And may they dwell in the great equanimity that is free from attachment and aversion, (sems can tham cad bde ba dang bde ba’i rgyu dang ldan par gyur cig/ sems can tham cad sdug bsngal dang sdug bsngal gyi rgyu dang bral bar gyur cig/ sems can tham cad sdug bsngal med pa’i bde ba dam pa dang mi bral bar gyur cig/ sems can tham cad nye ring chags ldang gnyis dang bral ba’i btang snyoms tshad med med pa la gnas par gyur cig//), Gen la said, “that we must not to be like the person who from the mouth is saying ‘may all sentient beings’, or ‘may they’, when in actual fact one is thinking ‘may I’. We must learn to focus on the meaning within the passage and slowly the intention and motivation of it will gradually become clearer and clearer. Everyday right after Gen la enters the classroom and after we have done our prostrations we recite refuge and the four immeasurables and so Gen la’s advice really hit home.

This week we were given the boot out of our classroom on the top floor of the administrative building and had to set up shop in the temple. Though we normally study and sometimes debate in there this was the first time, since the prior Buddhist philosophy course, that we have had class there. We were booted out because next Friday a very special guest will be at Sarah College. His Holiness the XVII Karmapa will be here next Thursday on the 6^th of January and so our classroom and the other rooms adjoining it needed to be cleaned up and pimped out for him. Though I am not sure why he is coming to Sarah, I have a feeling that it could have something to do with the Tibetan college student’s conference that will be held on campus next week bringing in Tibetan college students from all around India. I am looking forward to it, though. HHK spoke my very first week at Sarah so it is like the ending and starting of a cycle for me, one that started as a beginning Tibetan language student in ‘07 and another that starts as a beginning dialectics student in ‘11.

The sense of wonder struck me one day as I was downloading on the roof above our classroom. The roof stands at about 4 floors high between the boy’s and the girls dorms. On the roof of the boy’s dorm I noticed one of boys trying to get a kite airborne. The kite that he used reminded of the kind of handmade kites we used to make in Panama out of sticks and newspaper about 2ft by 2ft in a diamond shape though this kite was obviously factory made. The boy at first was having difficulty getting the kite to fly. I went back to the goal at hand and later at one point I saw a string floating towards the back of roof almost level from where I was standing. The string was white and thin so I was unable to follow it. At this point I turned to the boy’s hostel to see the guy was still trying to get the kite to fly. I was rather struck at this white string floating from the back of the building a few yards in front of my face though. Eventually I found the end of the string way, way off in the distance far passing the girl’s hostel. A small white kite flew over the village and was flying over a ravine where a river flows that is about perpendicular to the school. I was astounded at where that kite was in flight.

Again I went back to my task and after a while I noticed a piece of notebook paper swaying back and forth over the boy’s hostel. At first I thought, “Damn, dem’ boys made a kite out of a piece of notebook of paper! That‘s pretty badass”. But as I watched the paper swaying and elevating, I noticed that it was not moving as if the wind was forcing it, as if it is was leading, but as if there was something else that was causing it to move in its erratic swaying pattern, something else was leading it. So I slowly lifted my head following an imaginary 65 degree angle, taking in as I did this the full nude rocky face of the Dhualadhar range, the clear skies and the brisk ominous wind that was blowing the temperatures down a bit until I noticed a tiny black diamond with silver glittery tails flying behind it way above in the sky. It was another kite and this one was flying the highest I have ever seen a kite fly. The contrast was startling against the deep blue backdrop of the sky and the streaks of wispy cirrus clouds floating in rows that stretched themselves all the way to the mountains from above us where we stood. I assumed that the notebook paper was strung so that these ole skool aviators could keep track of the kite.

The another guy, the first one I noticed who was attempting to fly his kite finally got his fly and I watched as it floated pass me, gaining distance and height. And so, there were a total of three kites flying from the roof of the boy’s hostel, a black one and two white ones. Later I noticed that the string that was floating in front of me was severely sagging and that the kite that was flying over the river was not there anymore. That kite was lost and I had a feeling that they would lose it and so did the first guy also lose his kite. But the black kite reigned as victor of the skies that day, flying high with high soaring birds of prey as its only competitors.

That night the winds really started to kick in, I could hear doors slamming through the dorm. I could hear the water tanks on the roof squeaking as if holding on for dear life. I knew what was coming, from the sudden arising of the cold winds of the afternoon and from the brief glances I took at the newspaper. One headline read, “Cold and fog keeps planes on in down in New Delhi”, which means for us up here that eventually that those clouds and that that cold will visit the rest of North India eventually and that was exactly what happened the next day. A cold icy rain blew in that night rattling everything. I brought my poor orchid inside to protect her from the violence. After I had refilled my hot water bottles and wrapped them in my shawl, I cuddled with them in an unrelenting vigor as the temperature dropped and the delicate sounds of thunder tapped my ear drums.

The next day was completely overcast and the rain continued. After lunch the power went out and it stayed that way. Several times during the day the clouds would just break a bit to reveal what has taken place up on the hill. That night one of the B.A. classes had a roundtable debate scheduled but it had to be postponed due to lack of juice and so many of us had not prepared anything for that night’s debate. We did our initiatory prayers in the temple under candlelight and one of our classmates had brought us all sweet milk tea to drink. The mood of the prayers that night carried with it a laggard sense with it as if everyone’s mind was just not there, lacking somehow. I even tried to add some pep into my chanting but it was futile. The ambiance had done set in and it was too strong to remove. Afterwards, it was decided that we would have group debate reviewing previous topics from the “Presentation of Collected Topics” up until our current text. Everything was candlelit. Two impromptu debating groups were formed with each have three folks sitting as defender and everyone else could join the vociferous challenge. As soon as we started, the monk from the Hindi class showed up and started dropping bombs. The level of noise in the temple with the screaming, clapping and stomping felt like a huge phenomena adding to the eerie candlelit environment. I imagined for a second if this was how it could have probably looked like back in the pre-Chinese invasion days in Sera, Drepung and Gandan monasteries in Tibet. I quickly brought myself back to the moment happening in front me. Obviously my romantic side has not dwindled has much as I would have liked. Afterwards in my room with no light I was unable to refill my hot water bottles and slept a very cold sleep, the cold in all its coldness was my cuddle buddy that night.

The next day being New Year’s Eve, the sky had cleared up and we were gifted with a beautifully white New Year’s Eve gift. The white of the mountain burned against the blue sky and the snowline was very low, the lowest that I have ever seen it. The newspapers that day stated heavy snow through Northern parts of the Himachel Pradesh province and the province of Jammu Kashimir. Dal Lake in Srinagar had totally frozen over the first time in years. Indian tourists were flocking to these winter wonderlands to get first hand experience of the white frozen stuff. But not only India and it seemed like Europe and the eastern seaboard stateside has been hit with crazy-ass cold and snow. Too all of you who live in those areas, NYC, Massachusetts, Kentucky, etc and my European comrades I am thinking of you and hope that you might feel the warmth of my heart taking off some of the bite of the cold away. I know, wishful thinking, but I had to try.

That morning we had a surprise guest, though I had missed it as I had overslept. Tsering Shakya, a modern Tibetan Historian was speaking at Sarah. I was really disappointed that I missed his talk. I read his book, “The Dragon in the Land of Snows” many years back and was very impress with it. Some of my classmate filled me in on what he said though. During class the light came back on, we were all happy for that. The day started to overcast though and by afternoon it was gloomy again, but I saw something that I did not expect to see on such a gloomy day. At around 4pm I walked on to my balcony and I saw a partial rainbow starting from behind a tiny hill to the left of my room and it seemed as if to dissolve directly into the dark clouds behind it like it was entering a tunnel. It took me aback and I jumped. I was not expecting a rainbow with this weather on a cold gloomy New Year’s Eve day. Because of the foggy background, the colors of ROYGBIV seemed more brilliant than usual, I stared at it until it had completely dissolved back into the nothingness that it had once come from and towards the end I could not tell if a remembrance of it still remained or if my mind was playing tricks on me telling me that it was still faintly there.

The last rainbow of 2010 was accompanied by the last sunset of 2010 in its entire splendor that an Indian sunset has to offer. I was about to descend down the stairs to get dinner and I waited and faced the setting sun and gave him my goodbyes, “See you next year, duder!” After dinner another surprise came, I had pack all my things and was getting ready to go to prayers but I noticed that the TV hall is open and that the TV was on. I was like WTF? I walked into the TV Hall and I saw a bunch of my classmates in there on the floor watching TV. It was 6:30pm and prayers were to start, so I entered and asked one of my classmates if there was no debate that night. He said that the school captain had announced the rest of Friday night a holiday. Sweet I thought and returned to room. As midnight approached, I thought about how last New Year’s Eve I sat on the top of dining hall building with my German friend Katharina, I think that the waning moon was up too, and while looking at it we talked about life, our aspirations for the future and all that jazz. There was a bonfire party out in the woods somewhere that night, we were snickering because we could clearly hear a loud American girl’s drunken laughter from where we stood and if we could hear them then the principal could probably hear them too. These kinds of things are against the rules at Sarah, but many things also get a blind eye.

Anyways, Katharina and I took a toast of Old Monk for the New Year and went to bed. This year it was just me and the expansive skies. I placed my computer clock up on the screen at 11:59pm and watched it hit 12:00am Saturday, January 1st, 2011 and I thought that at 10:30am India time that day that the east coast state side’s clocks will hit 12:00 and folks will be partying down. I then prepared me a toast and walked a flight up to the roof. I toasted to the stars. Then ten minutes of fireworks were exploding in Kangra way down in the valley, a few screams of “Happy New Year’s” filled the halls but it was all over quickly. The International New Year really doesn’t mean squat shit here, so it is does not have the same feeling as Diwali does. If one didn’t read the newspapers or listened to the news one would not know that it was New Years. Anyways, after my toast with stars, those that I then stared at, whose light could have possibly taken billions of years to reach my eye consciousness. Many of those very stars could very well not exist right now, since we have only the light of those objects to depend on as far as their existence is concerned even if we use the most high-tech expensive telescope in the world we are still dependent on their light to know if they exist. It will be only when the end of a certain star or galaxy’s light actually hits the earth that it would be known that a star or a galaxy has died, billions of years after the fact. With that in my mind, after glaring and contemplating into our cosmic pass, I hope, decided, and intended into our forever unborn universal future.

Pax

Happy Holidays Entry

2010-12-26T18:17:00.004+05:30

I would like to wish everyone out there, whether religious or not a Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Yuletide Greetings, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Winter Solstice, whatever holiday of choice you might prefer. Even for the non-religious you must at least be enjoying the days off, the food, the parties and alcohol. Though I do miss the holiday season back a home with friends and family, I 100% do not miss the commercialism and the consumerism that arrives with the various processions of holidays, meaning from Halloween to about Easter. Being in India surrounded by Hindus and Buddhist one has no feeling that today is Christmas, no Christmas carols, no holiday’s sales, and no creepy old pedophile in a Santa Claus costume to have your picture taken with. I find it quite nice. This natural lack of holiday commercialism that tends to relentlessly attack you at every step that you might take, even when to only thing you might want to buy is a loaf of bread or a bag a sugar is so nice. Even during huge Indian holidays, like Diwali, the commercialism is not nowhere like it is at back stateside though around Diwali time I received quite a few spam SMS’ to my cell phone advertising for pictures of ‘Pataka (firework) babes’ to download on my phone for a nominal fee. Being here feels like a weight that I did not know existed was lifted off of me. Anyways, I hope that everyone enjoys spending time with their loves one and friends though. That is to be the most important thing of all, folks getting together sharing food and sharing themselves with each other. There is no greater gift than that. Fuck that you might not have gotten the new I-Pad or whatever new doodad for Christmas, boo hoo! Enjoy friends and family instead, you just might learn something.

Recently, something that has left me in a state of wonder was the previous lunar eclipse than happen on the winter solstice. It is said that such an event has not happened in 500 years or so. Now really think about that please. That a winter solstice, which is the longest night of the year for us northern hemisphere dwellers, our Gaia’s “dark night of the soul” was accompanied by a full smiling face of the moon and on top of that that it will fall into or be devoured by Gaia’s starving shadow as the Sun shone and brought a new day to the other side of her circular body, and that we are alive at such a time to witness it in the raw. If this is correct, then the last time such an event happened most of the quote unquote Americas were ruled by its rightful and original inhabitants. Those folks dwelling where they did at that time, gazing in wonder at the eclipsing full moon on the winter solstice, probably performing some ritual, could not have fully known that their way of life was soon to be ended forever by the hands of a few pale bearded metal-clad men from faraway bearing swords and firearms.

The same could be said for us in our “modern junction” of time, though any kind of all-out invasion seems highly unlikely (for now!), we don’t know what changes lay in front of us as a modern society in the near future, especially if what those experts predict might happen if and when we have or passed the climax of global peak oil production, which does not sound to good; unless they are full of shit of course. Regardless, we are all some lucky son-of-bitches if we haven’t realized that already. I know that it hard to think like that. But it is more that just mere positive thinking. I work and continue very hard at it and it has not come inherently and I always fall back to my habitual self-hatred/ self-absorbed mode but the duration of the times and the frequency of occurrences becomes less the more I get accustomed to it. Plus, some might think, who could give a rat’s ass about a bunch celestial bodies floating space? They don’t affect my daily toiling life at all right? That question should have been asked to the dinosaurs.

We, on this side of Gaia were not able to witness the lunar eclipse because as the sun was shining on this side on the 22^nd, it was at the same time creating the same shadow that ate the moon and regurgitated her back out blood red for all of you on the other side to see on the 21^st. I hope that you who were able and willing to brave the cold and a slice of your busy lives to see it in its entire splendor and that you enjoyed it for me, too. Remember, though you probably won’t be alive to witness the next winter solstice full moon eclipse, that 500 years is ultimately not even an electrons worth of water the in universal bucket that we call home.

It’s seems like we have lost one of our classmates and seeing all the problems that had arisen from his literary activities it was only an eventuality that he was going to leave. Takbum has “dipped to the bird” so to say, leaving us for another institution. I know that part of it he told me was that Buddhist dialectics is too damn hard and the studies are too demanding and he felt like he was not getting anywhere, though I begged to differ and tried to convince him to stick through with it. Part of it might have been that there was still some animosity amongst some of monks about his criticism about monks. I remember just last week when a discussion between him and some of our classmates erupted on the right side veranda of the temple during study period. Obviously bygones were not left to be bygones. It is quite unfortunate; but I hope that Takbum has a better time at the other institute. I will miss him for sure!

As we progress in our studies of “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings”, we are presented with various syllogisms that come from other ancient Indian schools of thought mostly Hindu, though so far one is a Jain assertion and learning the basic ways in which these syllogisms to do not hold-up to basic Buddhist reasoning standards. I am sure in a vice-versa scenario the syllogisms that we are learning to be valid or correct might not fit the logical requirements of those other traditions, the traditions of which the authors of our texts have considered their assertion to be invalid. But I guess that it just how it goes. One very famous personage from not a so distant pass in Tibet, Gendun Chöpel, was well known from a young age as a neophyte monk when he starting studying this very topic to uphold the Jain position sitting as a defender, which from amongst master dialecticians is considered extremely difficult to do, especially as a novice monk. The syllogism used is: the subject trees, it has sentience because of folding its leaves at night and sleeping (ljon shing chos can, sems ldan yin te mtshan mo lo ma ‘khums te nyal ba’i phyir). This syllogism is used to show the Jain assertion that they supposedly used to prove that trees are sentient beings. Gen la says that all Buddhist do not agree with this statement but I have my doubts.

The reason it does not work is because within the syllogism the property of the subject (phyogs chos, paksadharma) or in other words the reason ‘folding its leaves at night and sleeping’, does not only exist (yod pa kho na) in the subject ‘trees’. In order for this syllogism to work, according to our root logic text, the reason ‘folding its leaves at night and sleeping’ would have to only exist amongst the subject ‘trees’, meaning that all trees fold its leaves at night and sleep. But we know that pine trees for examples do not fold its leaves at night. So even though that is the reasoning behind disproving the reason of this syllogism, it does not disprove that trees are not sentient but that the Jain reasoning does not work for proving the status of trees as being amongst sentient beings. But the enigmatic prodigy Gendun Chöpel had managed to hold his assertion for the sentience of trees in the early 20^th century in a monastery’s debate courtyard eastern Tibet and that brought to him as a young man the beginnings of an unknown notoriety that eventually surpassed his life.

Enjoy the next couple of months of increasing daylight and warmth.

Pax

Where there is smoke there is fire

2010-12-19T16:40:00.001+05:30

The cold is really starting the bear down around these parts, well at least around Sarah. Since campus is located at a lower elevation than McLeod Ganj, the cold that is felt here is not the same as is felt up there and at the over environs. The cold here is a strange kind of cold. It never frosts in the morning, insects are still flying, the forest is still green and I have even seen flowers in bloom but you freeze your ass off, well at least I know that I have been. Though is it cold I am still wearing flip flops causing some of my schoolmates to ask me if I am not cold? I would say (imagine a Mr. T accent) “Damn straight I am cold; I am wearing four layers of clothes, fool!” I have always hated wearing shoes because then my feet can’t breathe and they get itchy. But in either case it is still cold. Being from NYC, one might feature that I could walk around in this weather in boxers, some folks here don’t layer up that is for sure but they are made of Tibetan high mountain stock; this cold ain’t got shit on a proper NYC winter, with blizzards, northeasterners and a wind that feels like subtle razor blades are slashing at whatever bits of flesh one might have exposed.

My stock is Caribbean, my family is Panamanian. Cold was not bred into our genes. I am genetically disposed to hot weather. Panama has two seasons hot and dry and wet and dry. That’s da bomb. I remember when I lived there as a little jit that one never knew cold, besides from eating raspáo (shredded ice packed and stacked in a paper cone drenched in sweeten condensed milk and a multicolored array of artificial juices of ones choice, yum!) or from drinking a cold soda. Seeing that I don’t like the cold makes it all the funnier that I would end up studying a philosophy that came from one of the coldest, highest places on earth with folks who come from the coldest mountain areas in the world. It is weird how shit can work out, an oxymoron like Jamaican bobsledding.

What has been my savior are these rubber whoopee cushion looking things that I can pour hot water into. I have two them. One was given to me by a cool Romanian lady, a polyglot, a classmate from my first year and the other one I bought in Mcleod Ganj. What I do is after I fill them up with hot water I wrap them in a shawl which holds in the heat and take it with me wherever I go. When I sleep, I hug on it like a little kid hugging a teddy bear sucking on the thumb, I am out nice and roasty toasty under my covers in no time. Everyone is now so used to seeing me with this bundle that they it called my baby, since it look like I am holding one. During study time in the temple, I have my favorite spot by a pillar where I can rest my back on it and stretch out my legs with the table at my chest so that I can read and write and I will place the bundle at the end of the mattress so that I can place my feet on them. It is mighty cold in the temple with its stone floors. Even now as I am typing I have it placed on my lap and when my hands get too cold I just stop and stick ’em inside and go, “aaaahhhh” for a bit having a mini hand heating orgasm before I continue typing. Even though it is a funny kind of cold I will relish in it for now because in a little over two years we will move up those thousands meters or so up the hill to McLeod Ganj where winter time is less likely to be joking. Luckily up there at Dialectic School, January and February are the vacation months.

This week I have learning to adjust without my tooth. Eating is definitely interesting, at times I have forgotten that I had the tooth removed (phantom tooth) and go in for a chomp to find emptiness (not in the Buddhist sense unfortunately) of the tooth. The food just hits my sensitive unhealed gum and stays intact mocking me in my attempts to destroy it. So I have chew on one side of my month which is quite awkward. Also since my studies require a lot of talking, with all the downloading, chanting and debating, my tongue has been making that spot around the absconded tooth very sore.

A few days ago while I was downloading some texts on the roof of the administrative building, I looked down at the village below and saw a man gathering some brush to get ready to light a fire. At that time I was working on downloading the syllogism: Regarding the subject, on a mountain pass, there is fire because there is smoke (du ldan la la chos can, me yod de, du ba yod pa’i phyir). According to the format that we use, the reason has to pervade or entail the predicate. Here the reason is because there is smoke, and the predicate is that there is fire. Which leads to this statement, it follows that if there is smoke there is necessarily fire (du ba yod na me yod pas khyab par thal), reasonable enough right. Even in English we say, “Where there is smoke there is fire”. But this common phrase taken as a proposition to be analyzed would not make sense if it was pushed a bit. It made me think that how in Buddhist philosophy and maybe in western philosophy too; we are forced to look deeper at commonly assumed notions that are taken for granted (like the white horse being white debate that I briefly explained in an earlier entry) and end up finding a lot of subtle and contradictory issues within them.

When the above statement, “Where there is smoke, there is fire” is pushed a person might say, ‘Well only a moron will assume that everywhere that there is smoke there is fire’, but I wonder if that is necessarily the implication or the assumption taken when the phrase is heard. I figure that most folks don’t even think about it and just nod their heads in agreement but they probably would not go beyond that. That was the case with my classmates when Gen la stated the original syllogism: Regarding the subject, on a mountain pass, there is fire because there is smoke, to us in class this week. Obviously we accepted. Then came the next question, it follows that if there is smoke there is necessarily fire. We also accepted this, most particularly because the acceptance of the first question implies the acceptance of the second question but it is stated in this format of pervasion or entailment for both testing and clarification purposes. It is there is where our assertion falls a part. Then Gen la throws at us: the subject, in the mouth of the uncle who is smoking a cigarette, it follows that there is fire because there is smoke, you asserted the pervasion (tha mag ‘then bzhin pa’i aa khu du ldan gyi kha’i nang du chos can, me yod par thal, du ba yod pa’i phyir, khyab pa khas). This leaves us in a position similar to having your king being placed in check in chess. The moves that Gen La used were simple and a common procedure learnt from day one. Since we accepted the pervasion the only thing we can say is that the reason is not established, which will mean that we will be accepting that there is no smoke in the mouth of the uncle who is smoking a cigarette. That just ain’t going to work, right! We were caught in our own contradiction made apparent by Gen la’s questioning. So the statement does not work, well at least so far.

I am sure I have mentioned this in the past, though we started with a syllogism, Gen la used the consequence (thal ‘gyur, prasaoga) form to debate us. That is rendered in English as “it follows” (thal, prasajyate). The consequence as the sense of taking the other’s assertion, checking it and seeing how far it can go until it breaks down into nonsense. I have seen in some places where the Latin reductio ad absurdum was used to describe the consequence. In the consequential debate style the challenger asks questions in direct dependence on the assertion of the defender and draws out the fallacies of the assertion. When sitting as defender, when we hear that “it follows” (thal) statement we know that our own assertions are being flung back at us and it does not necessarily imply the view of the challenger.

In Tibetan thal is a non-volitional verb normally meaning “to overdo”, “to get carried a way with”. This is what Gen la has done with us; we accepted that if there is smoke there is fire, and he has carried it to it follows that there is fire in the mouth of the uncle smoking a cigarette because there is smoke. The Tibetan syllogism would not have the term, “it follows” stated in it. Both the syllogism and the consequence each have their own very technical requirements that needs be met order for them to be considered correct. In the “Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” we are learning in detail about the technical requirements needed in syllogisms by analyzing what it needed to make a valid reason, though we debate using consequences. It is also said that the syllogisms used here are based on the style of debate used in Ancient India translated from the Sanskrit were the dependence on the consequence is more of a Tibetan innovation made by the scholar and abbot of Sangphu monastery Cha ba Chökyi Senge (phya pa chos kyi seng ge) in twelfth century. It won’t be until some years down the road when we will get heavily into the technical requirements of the consequence which I assume lays at the heart of, what Tibetan Buddhist hold to be the most refined philosophical view, that of the Middle Way Consequence School (dbu ma thal ‘gyur pa, prasaogika madhyamika), where talks are all about emptiness (shunyata).

As I was watching this villager building his fire, watching the smoke rise into the sky, I wondered what his assumptions were, what his villager’s mental paradigm were with his intimate knowledge of fire building. I have worked with fire a lot back in my hobbled days on the streets learning how to balance the air flow keeping the fire burning for maximum heat but not smoky. I was taught the phrase, “less smoke, more fire” as the key to proper fire building and maintenance. Fire goes back to that primordial cave-manish, or cave-womanish if you prefer, side of us, that basic urge of survival against cold and hunger. In referring to seeing smoke that one can correctly ascertain or infer that there is fire, HHDL states in “The Universe in a Single Atom”:

The formal introduction to inference as a principle of logic for young trainee monks (and these days, adult laity and nuns) involves the illustration of how one may infer the presence of fire from a distance by seeing a column of smoke over a mountain pass, and from fire it would be normal in Tibet to infer human habitation. One can easily imagine a traveler, thirsty after a long day’s walking, who feels the need for a cup of tea. He sees the smoke and thus infers fire and a dwelling where he can get shelter for the night. On the basis of this inference, the traveler is able to fulfill his desire to drink tea (and to warm up because Tibet is very cold). From an observed phenomenon, directly evident to the senses, one can infer what remains hidden.

It amazes me that something so primal like fire, probably the first and importantly grandest of all human achievements would have such philosophical depth and dialectical confusion within it though at the same time it does not surprise me. This syllogism has been so difficult to debate, so much so that I have started calling it one punk of a syllogism; so far none of us have found a way to not get caught in a contradiction. During last’s night all-night debate (meaning we got Saturday off, wooo hooo!), the last group that sat as defenders which had some really bright students in it were caught in so many contradictions that it was ridiculous. I have found out that in the higher classes this same syllogism comes up again and again and causes even more confusion. There is more to this cave-man T.V. that what meets the eye.

Pax

One Tooth Less

2010-12-12T17:00:00.002+05:30

I left my room this Saturday morning with 31 teeth and returned this afternoon with 30 of them. Too bad my age doesn’t reduce as I get teeth extracted. Yesterday was the anniversary of HHDL receiving the Nobel Peace Prize on the same date in 1989. It was horrendous that this year’s recipient Lin Xiaobo and his family were unable attend. But his detention and the severe restrictions placed on his family just might serve to heighten the global awareness about P.R.C’s putrid human rights record. Remember that the last nation not to release an imprisoned recipient of the prestigious award, Carl Von Ossietzy, was Nazi Germany in 1935. I am not saying that the P.R.C. is like the National Socialist Germany but both could possibly possess the same shoe size. I am glad that the people who decide on these things picked Lin Xiaobo for this year’s prize. I am sure that there must have been at least a few recipients in the past who were not so deserving of the award but there is no doubt in my mind about this year’s choice. Props for those Nobel committee decision makers for sticking their neck’s out! I for one did not know too much about him until he was announced to be receiving the award. Tibetans are now definitely aware of him in a public sense if they were not before. I am now looking forward to reading his writings and I would encourage you to do the same.

For the pass two weeks I have been suffering from some of the worst toothaches that I have ever had thus far popping Advil like candy, my bottle is now almost empty . My gums were infected since I could feel with the tip of my tongue the puss ball floating above my upper left gum line at the exact spot where I had a filling placed this spring. I had all already visited another dentist recommended to me by a friend this fall but I did not trust her diagnosis which seemed expensive and extreme, especially after my misjudgment of the other dentist. Because of the Nobel Peace Prize anniversary for the HHDL, Friday was a day off and I needed to go a see a dentist stat. Some folks recommended that I go to Delek Hospital, the Tibetan hospital not far down the hill from McLeod Ganj, and others suggested that I head to the Rajendra Prasad government hospital in Tanda not too far from Kangra. I thought I should give Delek hospital a try first for sometimes they might have a western dentist there volunteering though I knew that its chances of being open were slim. Also I needed to withdraw some bucks from my already seriously depleted financial resources from the ATM in Lower Dharamshala. The bus stop by Sarah was full with staff and students headed up to McLeod Ganj to attend the ceremonies for the HHDL’s Nobel Peace Prize anniversary at the main temple.

Leaving Sarah’s campus is always an adventure, my out of this country features always attracts local gazers. If they happen to be cute local girls I always throw a wink out there with a good stare back which always catches them off guard quickly returning them back to their assumed poise of shyness. When the bus arrived already full we crammed right on in. Up we went on the twisty pot-holed road and after 45 minutes of being shaken and stirred we arrived in Lower D. From there one either takes a taxi or walks up to Delek Hospital by a steep side road. I hoofed it. Another 15 minutes later I was at Delek to find that my fears where well founded and I then felt like a total dumb-ass for I could have used that time to go the Indian Government Hospital instead. All the exile Tibetan institutions tend to follow the same holiday scheduling. Because of the HHDL’s Nobel Peace Prize anniversary and since the next day was the second Saturday of the month just as Sarah had those days off so did Delek Hospital.

Returning back the way I came, just as I was about to arrive at the bus station I ran into one of my classmates and I told him what I was up to. He helped me get on the right track making me realize that I had no clue where the government hospital was. He asked some nearby taxi drivers for me and gave me bus instructions. Off I went hopping on the first bus I could find heading to Kangra, the seat of the district. I had brought my textbook and my mp3 player with Gen La’s lectures on them to keep me busy while walking, waiting or sitting on the bus. Once I arrived at Kangra I realized that my classmate had also mentioned about a shorter way to get the hospital but since he could not remember the name of the town where you get off (in the Indian bus there is a conductor who comes to you asking where you are going and the bus fare is given accordingly) thus taking a rickshaw from Kangra was the easiest option. The rickshaws in Kangra are big; I think they are called tempos. They can hold a lot of folks, which I experienced many times these pass two days, but this time I had to take one for myself. It took sometime to get there but I was very amazed at what I saw. The hospital was also a Medical College; I was expecting one tall building not a whole campus. There were a lot of people there and when they saw me you could see the confusion shining out of there eyes.

After waiting for awhile for the driver to search for some change, because rickshaw drivers never seem to have change, thus causing him to turn back to the campus entrance where there were more possibilities of finding some, I walked up the entrance road to the hospital as I scoped the campus. In front of the main hospital building there were people everywhere, many squatting and sitting in different groups on the grass. Once inside the hospital I headed to the inquiry desk to ask where the dentist was. After an entry slip was printed and handed to me the desk guy told me, “Room 9 second floor”. Now for us from the U.S. the second floor means going up one flight of stairs. That is exactly what I did; I went up one flight of stairs and accidental walked into the maternity ward. I was like, “man, this hospital’s lay out is very confusing. I am on the second floor but no room 9 is to be seen anywhere”. I kept on walking around, I saw rooms 15 and 16 but no nine. So I headed back to the stairs and walked through some doors and I saw other rooms but still no nine. I did not see anyone around who looked like they worked there so I continued my wandering, reaching the doors that I had previous entered I saw a piece of paper with the numbers 8, 9, 10, taped to the wall with an arrow pointing to another set of stairs spiraling up. Aaa laaee! This must be where I am to go I thought. Obviously other folks must have also had difficulty finding these floors hence the need for the sign. While climbing up those stairs I realized that when it comes to counting floors that India uses the British, and probably the European convention of calling, what we call the first floor in the US, the ground floor and the next floor up is the 1^st floor. Again, you can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy.

I finally found the dentist room and was able to see the dentist immediately. I told her what had happened with the dentist that I had gone to this spring and about the diagnosis from the dentist that I had receive from the one that I had gone to this fall. She told me that my filling was badly done but that I would first need to get an X-ray before it could be properly diagnosed. She told me that I would have to return the next morning since the X-ray I needed is only done then. This dentist was not gentle. She sat me down in that chair and started whacking and scraping my teeth without any, “Ok, this is not going to hurt”, talk like we hear back at home. For one thing, I was right about not trusting the dentist that I had gone to in the fall since she wanted to give me an unnecessary root canal. This dentist told me that it did not look like I needed a root canal but if an X-ray was not taken then there was no way of knowing if one was truly needed. I was glad for her frankness but not her frankness when she was poking my mouth with sharp, pointy devices. So I had to return the next day.

Besides the hospital’s layout being a bit difficult to navigate, it was not nearly as clean as hospitals back home where you can feel any bit of bacteria that you might have carried on your skin with you die as you walk in. Here things just look dungy, that is general for most of India, except for the Delhi metro and some new malls. There were parts where it looked like folks were camping out in the hospital right on the floor with sleeping articles laid out and clothes hanging on some of the railings of the hallways like they were not going any where any time soon. Some of the sick were rolled around in wheelchairs, others where carried. Kids and adults with casts on various body parts seem to walk around aimlessly, well at least the ones who could walk.

It was depressing and enlightening at the same time. Many of us live our lives never encountering or avoiding the suffering of the masses. But we never know when that kind of suffering will come to us. In this hospital one easily encounters most if not all of the 4 signs (birth, old age, sickness and death); the ones that the Prince Siddhartha Guatama saw for the first time in his life when finally being allowed to exit his palace and to see the outside world with his own eyes. It was after seeing these signs that the Prince decided to renounce his luxurious life for that of a poor seeker of truth. All hospitals of course have these elements but here it is more in yo’ face. It is not hidden. I at times feel like most folks back home are more like the Prince before he first left his palace but are dulled by constant media and instant this and instant that. The difference being that the suffering is purposefully hidden to the extent that it seems not to exist here but in some far off god-forsaken place; this happens from the top down and from the bottom of up.

When I was on the streets as a young adult I definitely witnessed the unhidden suffering that happens out there for I was then in the midst of it, raw and unadulterated. But again it is not something that every one in the US sees. This on a larger scale also reflects India, where it is not a thing to build a mansion next to squalid slums. Could you image if Little Watts and Compton were right next to Beverly Hills? That shit don’t fly in the U.S. that is for sure, probably not in Europe either. I wonder if it were possible to hide suffering in India like it has been done in the West if Indians would go it. It is just human nature once one has risen to a certain status financial or otherwise to desire to be protected from the ghastliness that life can present itself or it is there also a cultural element to think about?

On my way back I walked to the nearest bus stop after some taxi drivers having finally understood my choppy Hindi directed me in the right direction. Tempos jammed full of people blew pass me. The sun was shining bright. Locals working the fields would sometime stop to observe the spectacle of me walking down their road. I passed by one very macked out garden that had some bad-ass looking heads of cabbage, with other luscious green growing in vigor behind a wall. I delighted walking through the village like this.

Once I arrived at the main road I took mental notes of landmarks and the characteristics of the area so that I could find it on my way back tomorrow. Again I crammed into a bus; I needed to take two buses at 5 rupees at pop, one from this spot to Mataur and from there to Gaggal. From Gaggal I walked to Sarah through a back path that requires two stone hopping river crossings. When I first entered the path leading there I saw some ladies sitting on the ground cooking and chillin’, they were not local ladies from the looks of it for they were darker, their dress was different and they had an attitude not found in the women of these parts. They started hollering at me; “heeeh, babuuuuu!” and then a wave of laughter undulated amongst them as they pointed their fingers at me as I passed them by.

As I was approaching the river I detected the distinguishable stench of human feces, river banks tend to serve as latrines. So as I walked to the river I had to be extra careful of where I stepped. Seeing the minefield in front of me it seemed like folks must just defecate in groups while gossiping just like that, in the open. It reminded me of being on the train on the way to the Kalachakra Initiation in South India the winter of ’06 when I woke up one morning and the train was passing next to a river as the sun destroyed the dawning mist in the middle of bumblefuck India and as I looked out the window I saw groups of people answering the call of nature out in the plain open by the river. Many of them waved at the passing train as they did their business, I too waved back.

After my two river crossings, up ahead on the a small hill I could see Sarah College, the newly finished water tower could be seen and also the top administrative building with the golden wheel of Dharma surrounded by two deer were I was downloading our main text two weeks or so ago. Since this path was not by a road it was nice and quiet. Off in the distance thermal seeking hawks circled the sky; I saw a fully naked tree with one of the largest wasp’s nest that I have seen. It seems so big that I wondered how the branch was able to support it. The next largest one I ever saw is a floor down and three rooms to the right of my room in the back corner of the boy’s hostel. I approached a village elementary school and saw the children were playing in the yard a game very familiar to me as a kid, duck duck goose. I stood and watched them for a bit, those kids for sure were having a good time.

Back at Sarah again, I stopped in for some grub at the school canteen after chatting with a small Vietnamese nun that I had met walking solo on the way up to campus and relaxed in my room for the rest of the day, finishing Shelby Foote’s second 1,000 page book from his trilogy on the Civil War, which I have been enjoining reading for the pass two years. Jeremy has been loaning me some of his history books for the pass two years. I am excited to start the final book in the trilogy but I will have to wait. Jeremy went to study at Dzongsar Shedra since all or most of monks in his class went to the winter debate session in South India on Dharmakirti’s Commentary on Valid Cognition. This is an old tradition from Tibet where all of the three main Gelukpa monasteries that surround Lhasa gather their monks for two months to debate this text in one spot, one session was held in the summer called Sang phu yar chö (gsang phu dbyar chos) the Sang phu summer debating session, because is was held at the site of an old Kadampa monastery in Tibet called Sang phu, and the other winter session was held at a place called Jang thus it was known as Jang gun chö (ljang dgun chos) the Jang winter debating session. In exile these inter-monasterial debates still happen but at one of the big monasteries relocated in South India and they have kept the use of the same names as were used in Tibet. Only monks can go to Jang gun chö so Jeremy went to Dzongsar Shedra, a Sakya/ Rime monastery four hours from here in Bir, where they allow lay males to debate. It seems like he is digging it, though their method of debate differs from the Geluk’s style as is learn at Dialectic School, there are also many doctrinal differences that I am sure will make debate the more interesting. I am hopping someday to follow in his footsteps in the future as my studies progress. And so until he returns I will have to wait. But luckily a friend let me borrow the HHDL’s “The Universe in a Single Atom”, which I have been wanting to read, like forever. It is like a “Buddhism meets Quantum Physics” type of book, for dumbies.

The next day being this morning, I reversed my tracks back to the Tanda Hospital. On the way I was, as can be expected, constantly being crammed in vehicles there and back, but being crammed in is the cheap way to go. I am used to it and I quite enjoy it in a weird way. You should see the looks I get, especially from the young and the elderly when I cram with them in the tempos. On the way back one little girl refused to enter the tempo when she saw me, her eyes bulging at me in terror, finally her mother sat next to me and slowly got the girl to sit on her lap. The girl’s little hands looked like it had alligator skin on them. Life on the wild side of an oversized rickshaw! At Tanda I went immediately to get my X-ray. Here they only X-ray the portion of the mouth that is giving problems instead of all of the teeth. I had to go twice since the first one looked like the tooth had a fractured root, the dentist asked me if I was ever hit in the mouth on that side and was I like no, though I did think of the near incidents of monks clapping pretty near by face in debate.

After the second X-ray they found no fracture. But I had another problem being that the filling that the dentist had given me in the spring was unnecessary and that tooth had infected my gums and that it had suffered some bone lost. First after sitting me in the chair she started to drill out the old filling and it hurt like a motherfucker, I screamed loud and clear, I know, I‘m a big wuss. She wouldn’t use any anesthesia saying that it should never be used for fillings because it could cause bad fillings like the one she was drilling out of my mouth. I never knew that but that drill was for sure causing me a lot of pain. She did spray some surface anesthesia but it didn’t help for nothing. So I accepted it I best as I could and let her do her thing. I cringe when I think about it.

Finally after she had gotten all of it out she then discovered the bone lost and that my tooth was barely hanging in there. It was quite loose. She looked at the X-ray again, always talking with her colleagues throughout the whole time. So told me that the chances of saving the tooth were slim and that a cyst surrounded the root of it was still in there. If it was not extracted the infection will spread to the other teeth. She also said that it must have been a chronic problem like since four or five years back. After she told me this and after she spoke with her colleagues I told her that if her medical opinion was the best option then pull ‘er out. And so, after quickly eating three bananas since the hospital canteen, which took me awhile to locate, had no proper warm food, she took the tooth out. She did use anesthesia this time though, whew. I was getting nervous, but I still felt some pain.

So now I need a bridge to keep my remaining teeth from slowing trying to fill the new vacant spot on my near upper back right hand side of my month. After she gave me a prescription and details on how to use them, her and her colleagues asked me where I was from, if I was tourists and what not, but the right side of my mouth was totally numb and I had to squeeze down on a huge piece of cotton in the vacant spot to stop the bleeding. I told them in slurred speech that I wasn’t a tourist but a student and studying Dialectics at Sarah College, but they had no idea about any of it. So I just showed them my text book, “Ah, you are studying Tibetan!” one of them said in seemingly disapproving tone. I gave a bone fade Indian wobble for confirmation. The bridge that I need to be done is in some other place; near Kangra called Dehra they don’t do it at the government hospital. They did not have a number or an address of this dentist so I need to ask the college secretary where this place is and how to get there. So I have another opportunity to have someone take jabs in my month. I will have to wait until the spot heals though and it will be quite expensive so I have to think about that too.

Outside the hospital after I had purchased my meds from the chemist I saw a large group of women in utter despair. They sat on the ground wailing in grief. Obviously someone dear to them had died. The sound of their wailing was so haunting that I still hear it in my head and it gives me eerie goose bumps.

At Mataur when I changed busses I saw a middle-aged Tibetan gentleman that I have seen around McLeod Ganj and had I also seen enter Sarah’s campus on the back of a motorbike waving Tibetan flags during the Lhakpa Tsering la’s welcoming a few weeks backs. I sat next to him and he started chatting me up. He said that he was coming from Kangra visiting an acquaintance in the hospital. It seemed like he also visited a Hindu temple since he had smudge of red powder on his forehead. I have never spoken to him before, at least I don’t think so, but he said that he recognized me from the VOA (Voice of America Tibetan News), for the impromptu interview during the freedom of language march and he remembered seeing me at Sarah for Lhakpa Tsering la’s welcoming. I told him what was up with me, showing him the cotton in my month. I am sure that he could tell by the slurred way that I was speaking that something was up with my month.

Anyways before I got off the bus, he thanked me for learning Tibetan, which was totally unexpected. I returned a ‘your welcome’ back to him and before I knew it I was off the bus in Gaggal walking back to Sarah. As I walked I thought about what he said. Studying Tibetan has been a real challenge and what he said really made me happy. There have only been a few times that Tibetans have thanked me for my efforts. I don’t think that it is necessary or that I even deserve them but do I think that such minor statements given by the people who speak whatever target language one is trying to learn helps and encourages those students. Especially with a hard language such as Tibetan, where as a beginner I received more discouragement than encouragement from native speakers and that really put be down many a times. What this Tibetan gentleman told me showed me that my efforts counted and what more was that it counted to him as a native Tibetan speaker. As I walked to Sarah I was like, “Right on”.

Because the Friday before the second Saturday was a holiday, our all-night debate looks like it will be postponed until next Friday but I am not sure if Gen la will give us that next Saturday off since we will have go to bed after midnight to be up by 6am the next day. We will see. It seems like Gen la is quite the writer/ scholar. I had a photocopied version of a slim book that he had written on a mnemonic grammar text called “The Good Explanations of the Divine Tree” (legs bshad ljon dbang) which all Tibetan third graders memorize. I had memorized it during my first year at Sarah and my Tibetan grammar teacher at the time allowed me to photocopy his hardcopy and I studied grammar from it. In our study of “The Presentation of Collected Topics” we used Gen la’s commentary. Also as we study “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings” we are also using a commentary that Gen la had written. On Thursday in class he announced a new commentary that he had written on a text called “The Essence of Good Explanations”, (legs bshad snying po). It is also called “Privisional and definite”, (drang nges) written by the founder of the Geluk tradition Je Tsongkapa. This text is known for being extremely difficult but luckily we won’t be studying it for another two years.

Gen la needed us to help put the pages together. Sarah has a printing press and many books including the school magazine, in which I have been recently enjoying reading the current issue with articles, poem and stories written by some talented writers. So Thursday afternoon, Gen la had most of my classmates retrieve the papers for the books and had all them brought to the temple. Most of the small tables were lined up on the furthest left-hand side of the temple. After all the papers were brought in, the Indian printers came and organized the stacks in order from right to left on top of the small tables. Once that was done, it was our job to make the books by gathering the bundles in their numerical order. Starting with the first bundles of papers, which had in tiny purple letters the word ‘front’ written on the upper left-hand side of the pages indicating which way the bundles of papers should lay. By forming a line we each in turn grabbed bundles over consecutive bundles of pages until we reached the last table and handed them to the three Indian printers who sitting on a mattress in front of some empty tables where they were tapping the pages evenly on them in a rhythmic fashion. This went on for hours. Some of the guys were really fast so a ‘kind of race’ happened, seeing who could finish a book the fastest. Some errors concurred because of that though. I was slow rolling it. One guy told me that in the West they use machines to do such work but that Sarah they use us.

Gen la sat on a mattress watching and directing. At times he would gently laugh at us, like when he laughed at me as I goofily walked over to help my classmates with the project. The printers stacked the finished ones perpendicular on top of each other so that they didn’t get mixed up. As the finished stacks grew larger I wondered how Gen la felt about seeing his thought’s manifest on paper many times over. I don’t know how many were there when we finished but I would guess that more than 4 hundred future books were there. I thought about my own writing endeavors, I have only written for college making only the copies needed to fulfill an assignment and for this blog which has only the one blog that can be read by all who wish to. But books are a different gig, though I don’t know why. It just seems to have a different feeling; it is at a whole different level. I would like to write a book some day but I fear that I lack what it takes to do so. Anyhow, soon we will be in possession of Gen la’s new book and in a way I guess we will be the guinea pigs who will be analyzing his ideas in laboratory of the debate courtyard. Hopefully by that time I would not have had any more teeth yanked out of my mouth; I have already have two pulled since being at Sarah.

Pax

A quickie

2010-12-05T18:16:00.001+05:30

This week began with some unexpected free time. Since HHDL was to conduct some teachings by the request of the Russian Sangha, my classmates requested the time to attend. Those days were this previous Tuesday through Thursday. I was rather happy to hear this news, though I know that it means that our lectures will get rushed in the end, because I really needed to dog some serious downloading of our root text. I was about to fall behind. So I used that time as best as I could by re-listening to some lectures and general reviewing of the material.

Wednesday night was the b-day of Je Tsongkapa, the founder of the Gelukpa sect. Every year on that day there is a ritual performed at night in all Gelukpa related institutions, in which at a specific time in the ritual, offerings are distributed amongst the participants. At Sarah this is done by the students. This it seemed like there was an excess of offerings this year because the amount of stuff that was given out was quite a lot. The offering stuffs are all eatable though some more palatable than others. A lot of junk food tends to be passed out at these things. I felt that this was the closest thing to Christmas around here, receiving all these goodies. Normally the responsibility for organizing and conducting the ritual called Lama Chöpa falls on the monks of the philosophy course but this year other monks, from IBD probably, conducted the ritual while the B.A. students did the grunt work. I assumed none of the monks from my class knew the ritual well enough and that since they went to the teachings that also they did not have the time to get everything set up. The main characteristic of this ritual is the placing of candles all around campus and a candle light procession circumambulating the temple with a chant in the praise of Je Tsongkapa. This makes everything rather nice glowy for the otherwise indistinguishable campus.

This was quite an uneventful week and in truth probably all weeks at Sarah is like that, but usually I can write about something. Unfortunately, that is not the case for this week but I wanted to give it a try to see what came out of my fingers and the above is about it. But I hope that this little bit finds you in good health, spirits and that you are staying nice and roasty toasty in whatever part of the globe that you inhabit.

Pax

Right Questions

2010-11-28T21:45:00.002+05:30

Steadily we are approaching the darkest time of the year for those of us who live on Gaia’s northern hemisphere. In under a month her longest stretch of shadow-dwelling will be amongst us. Observing the different positions that the Sun rises and sets on the horizon and the time changes of these actions allows one to reflect that it is the thing that one lives on that is doing the moving more so than that spherical mass of hot hydrogen gas floating 93 million miles away from us, which without we could not be. Since it rises these days at around five after seven I can sit on my balcony munching on some Tibetan bread and watch it rise. First seeing its rays hit the peaks of the mountains gradually moving down unveiling its shadows until from the far right side of my balcony the warm blinding light starts to slowly peak like a curious child seeing the circus for the first time. The chirping of house-swifts and other birds serenade the newly waken Solar lord. Bees and dragonflies fly to and fro already hard at work in their menial tasks. Sounds of a freshly awaken Indian village and the college adds to this morning symphony.

As compared to my old room, this room gave me the opportunity to appreciate more of the surrounding environment than I have been able to do in my previous years here. Also by learning to apply what I have been learning in class to the realm of regular, daily experience which is opening me up to things that I have always known to have been there but with a developing vocabulary for describing them.

Witnessing my first full moon rising over the mountains last weekend was such a gift. As soon as I saw that the peaks was starting to glow I stopped what I was doing, ran to my balcony and stood there until it floated above to mountains as if by invisible strings. For me, in both the risings of the Sun and the Moon, though I am seeing it happening in real time, the very movement of those masses or more accurately the Earth has not been perceptible to me. It is moving, it is rising but it is not until after the ritual is done that I can cognize that it has done so but not during it. I wonder if others have had similar experiences.

Recently for morning debates we have moved back to our assigned debating courtyard in front of the main administrative building from the court in front of the girl’s dorm, on the grass and under the trees. Sitting as defender I always take to time to notice the waning moon floating behind the challenger in the morning sky as I ponder the presented query. The morning weather is briskly chilly; the monks are all sporting their maroon felt cloaks (zla gam). Once a monk let me wore his as I sat defender and man them suckers are warm as hell and now I want one. I have been wondering if they can make them for lay folks but it different colors, since only monastics can wear the maroon ones. I was first thinking white which is what lay practitioners can wear as far as robes are concerns but that will not stay white for long so maybe I can get one in black. I am out to investigate the matter.

This pass week has been exam week for the Tsamjor and the Rignae (B.A. degree) courses. The week before was for study and this pass week was the actual exam. Our exam is not until February sometime and it is in the debate format. There are only two major exams at Sarah a year for the B.A. degree seeking students, a half year exam and the final exam. The amount of information that needs to be known for these exams seems to be astronomical. How the students do it is incredible. After studying in Tsamjor and in one of the first year Rignae classes and attending their study sessions for two years, I was always in admiration towards my fellow students. I always opted out of taken the exams for I feared that I would have failed miserably and drive myself postal trying to study just for one of these exams let alone five of them. I think that most of the students are accustomed to this learning style while I was not. I was never told anything for being M.I.A. during these exams. For sure, I don’t have that luxury in the dialectics course.

The first year in the Tibetan foundation course I did take the exams and then as in now I found the whole test taking process rather interesting. Tests are taken in the morning and in the afternoon and if I remember correctly there are about 3 to 3 ½ hours long. Depending on the schedule, students from different classes would take any of their various exams at the same time. In the pass, students would make crafty and creative ‘Good Luck’ posters in English and Tibetan for the examiners. The exams are taken in the temple, sitting on mattresses facing the Buddha and surrounded by thangkas of Bodhisattvas and bygone Buddhist masters. Low one-person tables are placed in front of them where the students sit hunched over crossed-legged throughout the duration of the exam in thought of the subject matter before them. Thin yellow covered answer books containing several pages of regular composition paper, in which the covers have to filled out in a specific way stating name, date, class, subject, and teacher, are passed out to all of the students plus the exam sheet.

The monitors tend to be the teachers of the respective class for which one is taken the examination on. If I recall correctly you can not go the restroom throughout the duration of the exam. I remember that sitting crossed-legged for all that time was so difficult for me and the temple environment for a test taking experience was so surreal to me. One of the students told me after his exam how much his hand hurt from writing a lot. He told me how the questions that were presented on his exam required a lot of detail with one question having as many as 4 to 5 questions embedded with in. In was later when I was in Tsamjor that I got a better idea of what he was talking about. Those students sure do studying hard and I have give mad props for their efforts and I hope that all of them pass these exams with flying colors.

Because of these exams our morning debates were reduced to one hour since the courtyard is in front of the temple, the clapping and yelling would be an obvious distraction to the test takers. Also mandatory study time was in the classroom which sits on the top of the administrative building. On top of the classroom lays a golden wheel of dharma (chos kyi ‘khor lo, dharmacakra) of eight spokes which symbolizes the noble eight-fold path presented by the Shakyamuni Buddha. This wheel is surrounded to the right and to the left by a crouching male and female deer in veneration and respect to the wheel and they also represent the first teachings of the Shakyamuni on the four noble truths at a deer park in Sarnath, near Varanasi, India. All Tibetan temples have these symbols on their roofs.

To the front of the classroom on the valley side at the next level lower where the college library is located flies the International Buddhist flag, though for a time the Tibetan flag also flew. From where I sit in the classroom right beside the middle door I can see it waving in breeze as Gen la lectures. Our classroom has four huge windows, two facing the mountain and the other two facing the valley. On a clear day McLeod Ganj and the surrounding areas can be easily seen from these vantages. We have our lectures on the floor with small tables in front of us placed in rows. Our Korean nun brought back some cloth mats from Korea that we now sit on. In the front there is a pillowed wooden armchair and table with a microphone on it where we place our recorders. The classroom is rather long, so a P.A. system has been set up so that we can hear him clearly with two speakers placed in the back where I sit. Gen la never sits in the chair upright but reclined as if driving an ole skool 1969 chevy Impala hoopty low rider through the hood. Above the chair on the left is a framed picture of the HHDL with a Katak draped on it and on the right a framed picture of Shakyamuni Buddha and retinue. The classroom as has A.C.! Every Sarah classroom has a picture of HHDL in it. Originally this room was the apartment of the HHDL, when he visited Sarah to inaugurate the college in 1998 back in which I think he only stayed in it once. Since then it has not be used until it was renovated into a classroom for us this year. Before then all the lectures of the previous batches were held below in the temple.

Normally during study time Gen la would come and just walk around. Partly, I think is to see that everyone is present and studying but also to be available for questions. Since starting the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings many questions have boiled up and a general look of confusion floats over our faces as Gen la provides his explanations. So one day in front of the large balcony on the valley side in front of the classroom I saw Gen la explaining something to a group of classmates and I went to check it out. I stood a bit off the side listening to what he was saying trying to digest and he then looks at me and said an a hearty laugh, “Hah hah, do you get it?” I was not, “Nah uh!” and he said, “Slowly, slowly, see how hard it is for native Tibetan speakers to get it but you will get it in time slowly”. Gen la has one hell of a laugh, he really has a ‘ha ha ha’ type of rollicking laugh. On campus one knows that he is around because his laugh bounces off the buildings. Takbum told me once that Gen la must be really happy and I asked him why he thought so. He said by the way his laughs “ha ha ha” all time in conversation no matter who is talking with, that shows that he must be happy.

Yesterday again in front of the classroom, Gen la asked me if my hair was fake and then I explained the process of making them and how black folk’s hair is just so kinky that it mats up easily. I told him that if I didn’t mat it that it will grow out like a big black ball surrounding my head, my way of describing an “afro” being that there is not a Tibetan equivalent. He said in fun that then my head could be used for a football. I told him that I had decided to mat my hair partially because Indian barbers would not have the slightest clue as to what to do with my hair if I needed a trim. Since they do not any experience dealing with black folk’s hair, I told Gen la that if I went into a Indian barbershop that the barber would look at my hair in surprise and say “kya hai?”, “what’s this?” at which Gen la and the surrounding classmates burst out in loud laughter. I told him that it is not really that different from the locks of a sadhu baba and a topden meditator besides the types of hair used to construct them. He touched some of them and said that it felt like a blanket could be made out of them; I was like how about a cloak (zla gam)? I have not had many interactions with Gen la like this; mostly because he terrifies me since he carries such a heavy air when he is around us.

Before having that conservation I was on the roof above the classroom where the wheel of dharma sits. The surrounding walls are high enough that I can place my book on it with out slouching to read it. The panoramic view of the mountain range with McLeod Ganj resting below it was as usual impressive to me. The sky was crystal blue and above me flew a few thermal seeking high soaring hawks; I watched for a bit how long they can go without a single flap of their wings, this kind of ambience is so striking yet subtle and un-obstructive. My surrounding classmates murmured their texts or were engrossed in debate. Some were in the classroom, some in the balcony in front and other on the roof. With the exam over we will be back to studying in the temple this week.

Yesterday, Sarah’s new sports court was inaugurated in the afternoon, with a small ceremony to thank the donors for hooking Sarah up with such a nice ass court. A bit more on the unusual side for Sarah, last Sunday its campus became a film set for a Tibetan movie, about what? I have no clue! But many students from the Tibetan Institute for Performing Arts (TIPA) crowded on to Sarah’s b-ball court side-steps to a part of the scene acting as an enthusiastic crowd in an excited b-ball game. The main actors where playing. Some scenes were also shot on the debate courtyard and others on the road. I was quite shocked that morning with the all the extra folks. At first I did not know what was going on as I was in the kitchen of the school restaurant trying to get some breakfast but the cooks were overwhelmed with this swarm of demanding hungry mouths. Many of the TIPA females were quite pretty so I had to keep my eyes in check since they don’t carry themselves like the humble-seeming Sarah girls. A TIPA student that I had met a year or two back was there and he explained what was going on a bit. I was like, the U.S got Hollywood, Mumbai got Bollywood, and now Dhasa got Dollywood or could you say Tollywood? Anyways, while watching one of the shoots I told one of my classmates that I think that the actors might be deserving of a Tibetan Oscar Award.

I was asked once what the purpose of debate is and since then I have been thinking about it more. The practice is definitely known to develop ones wisdom (shes rap, prajña). For soteriological purposes wisdom and compassion are needed in unison as a combined force. Wisdom is said to be active and feminine while compassion is passive and masculine. But what exactly is meant by wisdom, or as the ancients Greeks called it sophia? If one looks at the root of the word philosophy, philo- is for love and -sophia is for wisdom which I think they too also viewed it as a feminine principle thus you get the love of wisdom- philosophia. For many, wisdom might mean possessing knowledge of everything, but as a Western scholar of Tibetan Buddhism finely put it, “Often, we think that knowledge means to come up with the right answers, but prajña (wisdom) is more like asking all the right questions”. It was after reading this, in the context as a neophyte dialectician of Buddhism that I have received some insight.

It is exactly this that Gen la (and the other awesome teachers that I have had in my life) have and is trying to teach us how to do, more so than mere scholarship of knowledge for knowledge’s sake. It is in that training of learning how to ask the right questions, through the use of logic and reasoning in exercise, that the initial purpose of debate it about. This has made things a lot clearer, providing a grander picture and hopefully a steadier basis to build up on. And thus daily that is our task as students in this course and/or similar courses in philosophy either in dialectics, in a university, a dharma center, or privately with a qualified teacher; I think also in any field of study. Learning to ask the right questions, a mature developed mode of inquiry is a jewel that would guide ones life without fail through thick and thin. And so I hope all those out there in your respective fields of work or study that you might consider this as a tool for your life. To test it out and see what happens, Good luck. I would like to send my thanks especially to the teachers, professors, mentors, the ones who impart knowledge to us students, the ones that pushes us and guides us in the direction towards asking the right questions; you are so valuable and a commodity that the world can not live without.

Pax

Entering New Territory

2010-11-21T19:56:00.001+05:30

When Gen la started teaching the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings this Wednesday he stated, “This presentation now is a whole new terrain (lung pa gsar pa) to which I will lead you through”. Since after finishing the Presentation of Collected Topics we have taken our first steps into this strange land. Though we have developed and gathered some tools from travelling in the region of Collected Topics, entering this new territory has left many of us in wonder as we try to stare at the panorama before it comes into focus. For starters the main text, “The Presentation of Signs and Reasonings: The Mirror that Illuminates All Phenomenon” (rtags rigs kyi rnam gzhag chos kun gsal ba’i me long) must be memorized. I have been spending a good amount of time in this endeavor. I starting during vacation this summer but I only got 2 out of 20 pages in and so when I started again the first two that I had previously memorized went in rather easily but the new sections are rather difficult. In Collected Topics the defining characteristics were short thus easier to memorized and easier to spit out when needed. On the other hand the defining characteristics in this text are long as hell making it hard to spit. The query stills follows the same format of subject, predicate, reason but the names have changes and when starting the query a more restricted, complex type of style is used, which remind me of those wooden Russian dolls in which one pulls out smaller and smaller dolls from the original.

The basic query of the text is, “the subject sound is impermanent because it is created/ a product, (Tib. sgra chos can mi rtag ste byas pa’i phyir/ Skt. anityah zabdah kRtakatvAt)”. So far in memorization and in debate we have been saying this phrase like it is going out of style. This study seems to be a deeper preparation for the study of Dharmakirti’s Commentary on Dignaga’s Compendium of Valid Cognition (tshad mad rnam ‘grel/ pramANavarttikakArikA). So far we have been taught that all phenomena can be known correctly through two kinds hmm…. I guess you can think of them as consciousness called valid or prime cognition (tshad ma, pramANna): 1) Direct prime/ valid cognition (mngon sum tshad ma/pratyakSa-pramANa) which is a consciousness that perceives its object directly without the medium of concepts, also it is not mistaken and it is new or fresh. It is said that for us normal beings only the first moment (It is believed that they are 64 moments in a blink of eye) of perceiving an object (like a table) is direct but for folks like a Buddha all their perceptions are direct without the medium of concepts 24/7 for all phenomena. 2) Inferential prime/ valid cognition (rjes dpag tshad ma/anumAna-pramANa) which is a consciousness like the one above which is not mistaken and it is fresh but with respect to its object of perception; that object is hidden and it is known in dependence on a correct or valid reason. It is here in the realm of the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings where one first really encounters valid and invalid reason and how to ascertain them and thus to ultimately understand inferential prime cognition.

The classic example is: when one sees smoke on a high mountain pass while approaching it, one correctly ascertains that there is fire. The same holds true with the above query “the subject sound is impermanent because it is created/ a product”. The rub here is that this query is not valid for all people. It is valid to the person who knows what sound is but who doesn’t know that it is impermanent and when the reason is presented to this person they then have an eureka moment leading to them to the understanding that sound is impermanent because it is created. This query wouldn’t be valid for a Buddha because they are said to perceive all phenomenon directly thus of being to no use to such a person. This query is one that also sits at the heart of Buddhism, one of the main assertions of all Buddhist is that “all compounded or created phenomenon is impermanent (‘dus byas thams cad mi tag pa/ sarvaM saMskRtam anityam)” and since sound is a compounded phenomenon it too is impermanent. It is said that since the Vedas are held as being permanent revelatory sound that it is because of this that some Hindu schools assert that sound is permanent.

Back in the day, many of the followers from all the different religions and philosophies that claim India as its place of origin involved themselves in a plethora of debates over their different views. Some these debates took place in the written arena, mainly in the Sanskrit language. One scholar, lets say, from the Jain tradition might read a text by a Hindu scholar and when this person finds points that do not concur with their own they would in turn attempt to refute those points in defense of their own by writing. Of course the scholars from the other traditions will read it thus making their objections or assertions and the process advances. This kind of dialogue happened in ancient India between Hindus, Buddhist and Jains, and also within each respected tradition.

Some of these debates happened face to face in formal dialectical style similar to how we are taught (it said that the loser had to convert to the winner’s religion though, boo hoo), but their query structure was different and both parties sat down thus without the clapping and stomping. Some say that in ole’ skool Indian style debate the challenger snaps his fingers instead of clapping; when Gen la debates us in class he snaps his fingers. We have gotten into the habit of it especially when small informal debates sprout up between us during study period. Tibetans in their mountainous snowy homeland looked to this Indian tradition and adopted it very well but here the language and the style are different. There are a multitude of texts and commentaries written on philosophy doing the same thing as in the Indian tradition. The student tends to be overwhelmed as to the amount of texts there are and to the vociferous writing spirit that these folks had and have.

With the starting of this new study we have switched the view of “our own position (rang lugs)”, where before our own position followed that of Sera Je Monastic College when we studied Collected Topics. Now our own position follows and will follow that for Drepung Loseling Monastic College and thus we distantly taking part in this ancient tradition. These positions might or might be agree with each other. Some folks are quite at odds about studying texts from other monasteries and/or other sects, but for myself I quite enjoy it because it helps me to see what other issues are and how other authors deal with similar issues.

I am enjoying observing how this process is unfolding though it is challenging. I was chatting with our nuns this morning during study period and this new topic had been so far a real brain buster. In debate no matter which way you answer there are problems which lead to contradictions. We are bound to the text that we study so we have to figure out how and why certain assertions are made. Not an easy task by any means. These assertions seem reasonable at first until one starts debating on them and then finds one self very confused, like all of sudden realizing that you have lost your sense of direction. Though in the Presentation of Collected Topics we were also bound to a text it was not so tightly restrictive. And just to think about how we are feeling now recently entering this land, we are really to suffer from severe culture shock when we start traversing through the treacherous terrain of the Perfection of Wisdom (phar phyin, prajJA-pAramitA) course and the Middle Way (dbu ma, mAdhyamaka) course within the next couple of years.

Towards to the end of this week another cold front blew in bringing rain and fogging up our view of the mountain until last night. Again like the previous time the moon had arisen, it was nearly full and the sky was partially cloudy. The range was clearly in full view, just shining like a milky pearl, so after damja I braved the cold breeze to venture to roof of the boy’s dorm and just to let my mind settle like sediment in a river after it has been agitated. The view was spectacular and I just stood there staring at the range solo as long as I could. Though Gen la is now guiding us through the alien realm of the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings last night my thoughts calmed in the realm of the Himalayas.

Pax

Old Dog versus New Kids on the Block

2010-11-13T20:20:00.002+05:30

With in the six months of class time, we have gone through a series of studies that traditionally took two years or so complete. The study of the course called Collected Topics (bsdus grwa) includes within it the Presentation of Collected Topics (bsdus grwa’i rnam gzhag) text itself which is divided into introductory, intermediate and advance presentations, The Presentation of Knowledge and Awareness (blo rig gi rnam gzhag), and the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings (rtags rigs kyi rnam gzhag). In the three gigantic Gelukpa monasteries of Tibet: Sera, Drepung, and Ganden, it took a total of 3 to 4 years to complete the study of the Collected Topics curriculum. Here at Sarah/IBD it is concluded within one year. Due to the shortened period that we have for studying, many of the lessons are just blown right on by us and a feeling of a definite grasp of the material is not achieved. I know that many of us are overwhelmed by speed in which we go through the lessons. Especially of those like me who do not process a natural inborn ability for logic and reasoning.

Regardless, the difference between our class and those who have studied at the great monasteries relocated in South India after finishing the Presentation of Collected Topics is noticeable. Since the starting of the Advanced Hindi Teacher’s Training Course here at Sarah, a few of the monks from that class, who have studied in South India, have been coming to our regularly to our evening debates. I know that I have mentioned this before. From these interactions, I have come to believe that their first three years of training and drilling the debates found within the Collected Topic curriculum gave them a solid foundation, whereas that cannot be said for many of us within these six months. We are still missing many essential points that are supposed to be learnt during this introductory course in debate. But still despite this, Gen la tells us not to worry that eventually we will all get it, some faster than others.

The during the pass two weeks Gen la has rushed through three very important topics, last of which being the Presentation of Subject and Object (yul yul can), which is an introductory topic to the Presentation of Knowledge and Awareness. As Gen la taught this topic the heavy ambience of non-comprehension mushroomed throughout the classroom. This is due to the fact that in order to understand this topic the previous 2 topics must be understood with a fair sense of certainty. But that has not been achieved by many us because only a few days were allowed to study them. I do know from talking to some of the students from the higher-up class that these topics are so important that they will come up again and again throughout ones study. All we can do is our best, though it makes me feel incompetent because I do not process a natural talent for dialectics and most of the times I feel like I am barely floating by.

To add more spice to the curry, since this Friday was the Friday before second Saturday (we get the 2^nd Saturday of each month off), meant that on Friday night we will be having an all-night debate (tshad med dam bca’). On Monday, Gen la said that since we are finishing the Presentation of Collected Topics this week and will be starting the Presentation of Signs and Reasonings on this coming Monday, in which we need to memorize 20 pages of texts, that he had invited the monks from the Advanced Hindi Teacher’s Training course to sit as defenders (dam bca’ ba) while each of our three groups are to make two debates each and stand as challengers (rigs lam pa).We are to use all the topics that we have learnt from the beginning up until now and we are to create a query that encompasses them all. As soon as he said this all of us started to feel a bit shaky and uncomfortable. We know that those monks and nuns are very experienced in debate and that Geshes are included within their class. After I taught about it a bit, it seems that we are like the neophyte chess student who from study knows how to move the pieces and knows some points of tactics and strategy is to be pitted up against a Grandmaster. Those prospects were not sounding too good to us. We tried to protest a bit but too no avail. The match has already been set up Gen la said. He had already asked them and they have agreed to it, so it was on.

We had a couple of days to prepare, each of our groups got together and started discussions as to what hell are we as the newbies are going to debate with these ole’ skoolers. The general talk was that no matter what we ask they will give us the exact answer that would be difficult to counter. They have years of debate experience, duh! I was thinking along the lines of the saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks!” and, “that you can never con a con man”, they guys know every trick in the book supposedly. Also in Tibetan there is the saying “Don’t debate with a Geshe, Don’t bang your head against a pillar” (dge bshes lags dang rtsod pa ma rgyag/ ka ba lags dang brdung ka ma rgyag//), but Gen la had already set us up just for that, to have us banging our heads against a pillar trying to con a con man.

Nonetheless, our group had quite the difficult time coming up with something; we have three strong students but no leader types. Our strongest student is also the most disinterested of them, he has studied at Ganden monastery down South and it was quite unfortunate that he pretty much left us hanging when we could have used his experience in developing a solid debate with us and how to go about the debating format as it is done down there. So though by the end of week we had met twice for two hours we only had a vague idea on what we were to debate with these monks, pretty much we knew the main query but none of the finer internal points to pay attention for. To top it off, our group was to debate first. Process of coming up with a debate is still a phantom to me and I have been thinking and searching for an appropriate method. I have gotten many ideas from my international classmates which I feel is leading me in the right direction.

In any case, Friday night arrived with a bright waxing moon in the sky and it was time for the main event. As I walked through the temple entrance, dead center on the far side sat two monks on a double stack of mattresses wearing thick monastic cloaks (zla gam). One of them has been the one who has been tearing into us for the pass couple weeks. I thought, well at least this is a time where we can ask him some questions. Perpendicular to them on the left was a row of monks from their class sitting in order of rank. The first monk, if I remember correctly is a Geshe Lharampa from Spiti and below him I assumed that the rest were Geshes of varying degrees on down to regular ole’ monks. On the right side sat some nuns from their class. I have chatted with one of the nuns; I know that she was good in debate. Behind both of these rows on both sides of the temple sat our classmates and other Sarah students. The right corner sat Gen la. With debates like all-night debates one person from the group starts off and the rest of the group is suppose to join in. Also anyone present who knows what is going on can join in.

At the beginning our main questioning monk was having some trouble getting the words out of his mouth, which was quite unusual since his is the fastest speaker in our class who can twist consequences inside out and upside down with daunting quickness, for obviously the cat caught his tongue pretty bad: stage fright gets the best of all of us. After several attempts, he almost tried to runaway a few times, he got it out. The moment was very tense. As we got started we were able to draw some contradictions out of them just through either their shear forgetfulness and/or non-familiarity with a certain passage of text that was presented. Other students from the other groups also joined. I had figured that a row full of Geshes and advance debaters would not be able to keep their tongues resting for too long and that was definitely the case. The Spitian Geshe Lharampa spoke up from his seat and drew out consequences from the defenders like a bully stealing candy from a baby. Then different monks from the row followed suit. At one point our group was standing in the middle of temple observing all this going on without saying word. Someone in our group during this period tried to build up our courage to intervene between this barrage of side queries and to bring the focus back to us.

These kinds of debates take a certain aggressive spirit, it is normal in the tradition to cut another person off, even physically. When some is taking the stage and not giving you a chance to get your point across you have to just take it. Which sounds weird, I know! I have not seen this spirit so much in my class so far, but I remember from going to all-night debates during my first years here, watching two monks pretty much wrestling each other to get the chance to hurl consequences at the defenders. At first I found it rather unbecoming of monks to be acting in such a fashion. But I realized that it quite accepted and that normally no hard feelings are held. The monks from down South definitely have this spirit. In some ways too, it was embarrassing for to be standing there with no good way to bring things back, but we know that we are the new kids on the dialectical block and that we still have some ways to go; I was regardless of that scenario glad that see how the ole’ skool did their thang. Eventually our group’s time was exhausted, whew!

Pretty much the same type of situation happened with all of our groups. This was quite a challenging event for all of us, even for our talented students. When the third group came up to bat, the other class had swapped defenders, but they only got one volunteer and so one of our guys had to sit in but he did not say much though he usually has tons to say. The monk that they chose was quite a riot for his mannerism and his way of answering was goofy yet steady. His answers carried serious weight but at the same time made you want to laugh your ass off. Eventually the monk who had just sat defender got up and tore into the swapped defenders. One of the nuns also got a couple of good side licks in for good measure. We were trying to get her to sit as defender but she was apparently shy. None of our nuns got up with their group when it was their turn which was surprising for they are very good. I was wondering if it was because there was some high monks within our presence for our nuns are definitely not shy.

Afterwards we had a meal of Tibetan vegetable noodle stew and a creamy fruit desert. The atmosphere relaxed tremendously throughout this period as we all ate together. This is always my favorite part of all-night debates just sitting, chatting, and enjoying everyone’s company. But we had to get back to it and this time Gen la changed the format since time was short, he had each group debate each other leaving the other class from having to sit as defenders. Since we were to first to start the debate we were the first to sit as defenders. Five of us sat and luckily we were not there for too long. The topic was one of the recent topics that was taught really briefly and none of us knew it well. After we had finished the previous challengers then sat as defenders. At this point many of the monks from the Hindi course had done split and many of us were relieved.

One of our nuns got up with her group to challenge. By the time it was all said and done, 12:30am to be exact. The final smack down came from Gen la. He told us that we had none quite a horrible job in preparing our debates as a group. We need to learn when doing damjas how to ask questions as a unit, as a group. That was very true, with all of our groups only the strong students asked questions while the rest of us just being there clapping and stomping. Gen la said that there is no point if only one or two people are asking the questions and while the rest of the group stands silent. I think we all knew that we stunk that night and Gen just enforced that we have long ways to go as aspiring dialecticians. It was done though, we all made it. We got roughed up pretty good, but we weren’t a total pushover. I don’t know if this encounter hurts Sarah reputation in the debating world or not, but the most important thing is that it expanded our debate experience beyond our small group and allowed us to see what else is out there, what the possibilities are and how others do their thing. This might be one of the reasons why Gen la had asked them to sit as defenders.

Pax

A Diwali Post

2010-11-07T22:18:00.002+05:30

On the eve of U.S. Prez Barack Obama and his wife Michelle’s arrival to India, after the dialectical fireworks of last night’s damja, a few of my classmates and I headed the roof of the boy’s dorm look at the fireworks that was happening all around us. Yesterday marked the Hindu festival of Diwali that celebrates the Goddess of light and wealth Lakshmi and the Hindu New Year. Every year during this festival fireworks are sold indiscriminately to the young and old. On the days that lead up Diwali, the sounds of fireworks become more and more intense reaching the grand crescendo on the night of the actual festival. Since campus is cropped up on a hill and the dorm is five stories high, see could all the glittering sparks of fireworks that were launched from different places within the valley in front of us. About 15 minutes by bus, southwest of campus at capital of our district, the city of Kangra was very active, though at the time in was under a black out, the skyrockets were still being continuously launched. Directly to the south of campus lays Gaggal with is about a 10 minutes walk for here. There too the fireworks were raging. Most of the surrounding areas are villages, which were by no means lacking in the pyromaniacal fun of the celebrations. From the vantage point of the roof we had an almost 360 degree view of all the action. We made commentary grading the various skyrockets exploding around us depended on how elaborate and beautifully they exploded in the sky. Their booms echoed at various points, from varying distances and if it wasn’t Diwali, I could easily imagine that some kind of skirmish was going. Even some guys came up later on to light some firecrackers but all of their attempts were rather ridiculously dismal.

Rewinding, on the 28^th of October as I was going to the temple for our daily mandatory study period from 2 to 4pm, I noticed that in the courtyard in front the temple that a P.A. system was set up along with a row of tables and chair arranges as if a talk was about to happen and in front of that most of the student body were squatting on the grass. When I saw one of my classmates and asked him what was going on he told me that a group of seven Americans have been riding motorcycles around the world to bring awareness to the Tibet issue and that they are about to arrive here on campus and give a brief speech. When he said that I did not think too much about it because every now and then you might hear such a thing; like folks cycling around India to bring awareness to the Tibet issue so on and so forth. After a bit of indecision I went and joined the rest of the folks. The motorcyclist did not arrive until an hour or so afterward, so we sat in the courtyard just shooting the shit while we waited. There was apparently phone connection with the group for the staff knew how far they were from campus and gave us regular updates.

When it was close to the time that they were to arrive every one lined both sides of the campus road to welcome them. When they arrived I realized that my classmate was rather misinformed. It wasn’t seven Americans both one American and this American was also Tibetan. Behind this one motorcyclist were about 20 or more supporting local bikes riding with him, many of the riders donning traditional Tibetan attire waving Tibetan and TYC flags and shouting, “Böd Gya Lo”, “Victory to Tibet” as they rolled in. Members of the Tibetan Youth Congress seem of have made up a majority of the support bikers. It all clicked to me then. I had read about this guy on Phayul.com when I was in the states during summer vacation. A Tibetan from New York: Lhakpa Tsering la, he had decided to motorcycle around the world to bring awareness about Tibet’s political situation. Here is his website link. This ex-nomad’s iron steed was no rinky dink motorcycle, but a regal BMW motorcycle the first one that I have ever seen. Many of my classmates and the boys in general were awed at this specimen of a bike. It did not have the bulldog machismo of a Harley-Davidson or of a Royal-Enfield. This bike was a gentleman’s bike. After the rider got off of his steed many flocked around the bike to take pictures of it with their cell phones and generally just to check it out. Towards the back of the bike there were two steel boxes on each side were folks from all over the world had written something on it, along with flag stickers from various nations. Above the rear wheel was a New York license plate with TIBET1 written on it. Seeing a NY license plate at Sarah seemed surreal and very out of place to me but it also gave a big smile when I saw it.

After he was settled at the tables and chairs at had been arranged in the courtyard, all of the Sarah class captains were called up to offer Lhakpa Tsering la kataks. Someone from TYC gave a brief introduction and then he took the mike. After a brief speech in which he stated his thanks to Sarah for the wonderful welcome and the reasons for taking the journey, he got on his motorcycle with his posse and skedaddled up to McLeod Ganj, where I am sure he received an even grander welcome. Still after he had left, talk about his bike was floating about. I told one of my classmates jokingly that it seems that more attention was paid to the bike than to the person who rode it. At this he giggled and said, “True, true”.

That next Saturday we had unexpected day off because it was the 50^th anniversary of the Tibetan Children’s Village in upper Dharamshala and since probably that a majority of Sarah’s student body including staff are TCV alumni we got the day off. HHDL was expected to be there, so that day Sarah was the most quiet that I have ever seen it. There was barely a soul to be seen. I swear that I saw tumbleweeds rolling around campus as if it was a western ghost town in the US desert.

This week one of our lay students from the “Land of Snow” is now in the process of returning to his snowy homeland. He departed few days ago and he told me that since he was travelling by road that it will take him two weeks or more to get there. What he is returning to would not be the same place that he had left since his hometown was recently devastated by an earthquake. But I knew that that was a stress for him being here while such a thing was going on at home and so after procuring all the necessary papers to enter this land he packed his belongings, he briefly spoke in class to wish us the best in our studies and how much he enjoyed our company. We will all miss him for sure; he is a funny cat always kidding around and we had a lot of fun together in and off of the debate courtyard. I hope that his journey back home goes unhindered and that the reconstruction of his hometown goes as well as it was promise by the higher ups.

This pass Thursday was another unexpected day off for Sarah students, the night before at a talk, Tendor and Lhadon Tethong were at Sarah talking about the demonstrations that are happening in Amdo, Eastern Tibet, by students who are demanding that Tibetan Language be taught in their schools. I remember seeing some essays written by Sarah students stating their support of these students in Amdo posted on a bulletin board. A march was being organized for students of Tibetan schools around the Dharamashala area to walk in solidarity with these students in Tibet who are protesting with the threat to their very lives and families to have the Tibetan language taught in school and not only Chinese. I have been hearing about these demonstrations off and on for some time but this was the first time that I have seen something happen on the public face that addressed the issue. Families in Tibet have sent their children, a majority of the times on foot over the Mighty Himalayas, to India so that they can attend a Tibetan school and keep the language going. With these demonstrations in Tibet which do not seem to be getting any outside attention beside from the Tibetan-Exile community, shows that the students themselves are willing to risk a lot to have their voices heard and to have their language taught.

Since Sarah is an institute for the preservation of the Tibetan language, classes were called off and it was strongly suggested that students participated in the march. These days it takes a lot to get me to go up the hill to McLeod Ganj but I decided to go. The march commenced at the Main Temple in McLeod Ganj and finished at the Kacheri gas pump in Lower Dharamshala. Marching with my schoolmates various calls in Hindi, Tibetan and English were chanted. It looked like all the marchers were students. TCV students led the march with Sarah, IBD and Norbulingkha Institute students taking the rear. We slowly winded down the road in between traffic and dodging cars into Lower Dharamshala on that eve of Diwali. Many of my classmates made excellent chant leaders, especially for the calls in Hindi. I find it so ridiculous that there are places on this planet where in order to learn ones native tongue in ones native land that they have to risk their lives to have their voice heard or escape to a foreign land to learn it. There is something seriously wrong with this scenario and I think that there is no ultimate reason for it to happen, but the fact that it has happened does not shine a good light on us as Earthlings, especially those in power. I hope that the demands for these students are met and that if they are not that they don’t give up, that Tibetan will be taught in its land of origin with government support or clandestinely. Learning ones native language should never be a crime.

Pax

Glimpses of a Snowy Mountain

2010-10-25T16:44:00.002+05:30

Close to the time of the cusp of Libra and Scorpio right before the moon fully waxed to its fullest, the first decent storm since monsoon descended onto Dharamshala and its environs. With a kaleidoscope of dark and grey clouds whirling into each other, the earth-shaking subwoofer-like boom of thunder and the sharp and distinct flashes of lightening, the cold rain fell. The electricity at times came and went almost to the frequency of a strobe light set on low. Thursday night during debate I thought that if one could not hear the sounds of clapping and stomping but where looking into the temple that one would have thought that we getting our groove on instead piercing into heavy discussions on cause and effect. Along with this storm also came a chill that has not been felt in months. This is the chill that announced that we are now entering the transition from autumn into winter. Although on Thursday it was too cloudy to see the mountain range, I knew that being on that range must have felt like a blizzard. I wondered how the Russian cave dweller that I had met a few weeks back was fairing through this weather. Here at Sarah it was very windy, especially up here on the fifth floor. I had to close my window because they were randomly swingy back and forth and since the wind was so erratic I feared that a good strong gust would have shattered them to bits. I also had water coming in from the balcony door since it does not shut tight so I placed a blanket underneath it.

Towards that end of that afternoon, as a sat on the balcony facing the range before dinner I saw my first glimpse of the snow mountain which previously had had all of its snow from last winter washed away by the monsoon. What one saw four days ago as only rock is now pearly white. With last night being the full moon with clear skies, luckily before I retired I witnessed the extra shine that only the full moon light can provide reflected off of that grand shimmering whiteness.

During class one day an issue erupted. Since Takbum had written all that literature about the uncouthness of some monks and apparently some of the monks have not been so nice to him and it seems also to his roommate and some altercation happened. Though it does not seem to have involved any blows, it was apparent that it was close to escalating to that level. Enough so that Gen la knew about it and lectured to us that if one of us come to blows then that person is to be immediately expelled from the program and the school. Due to the nature of this course a lot of insults gets tossed about during debate, especially in damja, which is natural, but we must be careful not to dig so much that it seems completely insensitive and that it hurts the other. He said that amongst Tibetans not much attention or awareness exists about a person’s mental state or health and that it is generally ignored. With that general assumption then one might feel that people are like trees, you can say whatever the hell you want to it and it won’t react but that is not the case with people. Though they might not react at first, eventually they will. As a diversion, when Gen la said this it reminded me of my great-uncle who was a drill sergeant in the Marines who told me once that for drill sergeant training one had to stand in front of a tree and insult the shit out of it, lol. Since we are students of Buddhist philosophy, we are learning a lot about the mind and with that study comes the awareness that the mind must to taken into account in our every day lives and when interacting with others; the things that we study are not to be only read and not applied.

Anyways, another more subtle issue with our class is that with most of the students being Himalayans, some of the Tibetan students might feel a bit unwelcomed. Outside of class the Himalayans students tend speak in Hindi which they, particularly Takbum and his roommate, do not understand. But probably due to Takbum’s writings some of the students were insulting them by calling them Chinese spies, which really did hurt them. That is quite the insult that would strum the nerve cord for sure, especially for some one who left their homeland not knowing if they will ever see it again. Gen la stated that both sides were in the wrong for not being sensitive to each others feelings. And although on that day Takbum had took the day off to cool down, many of the issues and complaints were voiced in class in front of every one which I think helped. I was hoping two months ago when he posted his writings that the issues would not escalate but it did and now that it is out in the open I hope that it can be resolved, that the both parties are ripe enough to grow from this experience. Ironically enough, Takbum had won 1st place in a writing competition organized by the RTYC. His topic was “the fate of Tibetans” and there amongst our classmates he won their praises for being a student from the Buddhist philosophy class who place it on the map amongst the other gifted writers from the other classes at Sarah. One thing he wrote brought him censure; another thing he wrote brought him praises.

Last Tuesday, to the amazement or confusion of most of us, during damja we witnessed how some of the advance students of dialectics do their thing. One of Sarah’s professors of Buddhist philosophy for the B.A. classes, Gen Kelsang la, graced us with his presence that night. On the outward appearance he seems like a very meek monk. I first encountered him the summer after my first year at Sarah, where I attended a class designed to help Tibetans who attend Indian colleges with literary Tibetan. That year he taught the text “the 38 practices of a Bodhisatva” and though I sat in the front of the classroom it was hard to hear what he was saying. He spoke with such a low voice. Last year in Tsamjor (Bridge course) he taught “Nagarjuna’s Letter to a Friend” and again since no one could hear him a microphone system was brought into the class so that he could be heard. Even his general day to day appearance exudes humility; observing him walk from one place to another his posture is not that dissimilar from the Jedi Yoda, always slightly hunched over with both his hands folded behinds his back usually holding some texts and thumbing a rosary.

But on Tuesday night, this appearance disappeared with the quickness; he came over to our group and tore into the two defenders who sat there. His eyes seems almost fixed in a sense of exactitude, his posture was straight and upright as he performed the typical gestures of a challenger. His clap and stomp carried such weight to it that it made us all stop in our tracks. His kind unassuming face turned to one of dense seriousness. This time his voice could heard loud and clear. When the defenders were unable to answer, his quickly shook his prayers beads that were wrapped around his left arm up near the shoulder with his right hand which was positioned next to the right side of his face, calling on them to answer. Knowing before hand that the defenders had messed up his drew out their contradictions one consequence at a time and just before they were to answer the question on which the correct answer would mean that they had contradicted their main thesis. Gen Kelsang la’s right hand was already cocked behind his head in the position of when a challenger loudly pronounces the contradiction of a thesis (tshar, which means “finished”, pronounced tsha) in which the right hand is rapidly brought down to meet the left hand’s palm with its palm facing up. And so, with their answer he delivered the final verdict, “Ohh, Tsha! It was interesting seeing this side of Gen Kalsang la, who by the way is also a Geshe, since my previous experiences with him had been almost the opposite.

Since the Advanced Hindi Teachers’ Training course had started at Sarah a few of the monks from that course have been coming to our debates generally hammering us in pretty good. But it was not until that night that two met in disagreement in which a debate erupted amongst them, though most if not all of the monks in that course are from South India, they are not necessarily from the same monastery whose main texts of study might carry a different position on certain points, but they do have years of debate experience under their belts. After the bell had rung on 9pm I noticed that instead of everyone leaving that they were gravitating to one side of the temple from where I heard the cracking sounds of clapping. I can not resist, I had to go investigate. Once I had gotten there, these two monks were deep into it. Questions and answers were exchanged rapidly and quickly the topic advanced to one that we have some years until we study them. Regardless of that, it was interesting to observe the immediacy and the level of exactness that existed between these two in debate as compared to our classmates. After it was done, one of students stated, “Now that is how it is suppose to be done, let see if we can get there in the next upcoming years”, me, being the doubting Thomas said that in ten years I’ll be the same as I have been when we started studying the first topic on colors in March, hehe.

Despite the new chillness of Friday night, I was sweating from sitting on the hot seat as defender in damja. I sat defender with one of our class’ younger student who is a monk of about 15 years old. As I have mentioned, for damja the class is divided into three groups and each group has to send two students to sit as defenders at another group. Once positioned at the other group, any one and/or most of time, many of them stand and throw questions at you. The pressure can sure be poured on and one feels it for sure. My younger companion has the habit of answering abruptly without thinking, but also the challengers always try to be clever by quickly changing words and meanings on you. I caught a few of them but many I did not catch until four or five students were yelling at the top of there lungs “ohh tsha, ohh tsha, ohh tsha!”, clapping inches in front of our faces.

Sitting damja is a whole different dynamic than the regular one on one debate session. For me, I always fear that I would end up in the position like the one I was in during the second time that I sat damja with a Korean nun where both of us simply did not know the answer. Jeremy says that one just gets to it, but a first it gets a bit nerve-wracking. With this previous damja, though young monk and I did not do exceptionally great, we also did not do horribly awful either and for that I was relieved. I think this might be a good sign, for one: that my reasoning skills have improved some what and two: that my confidence in debate has improved some what. But only time, the greatest judge of all can tell. In the end I was just happy that I could sit on my balcony, look at the full moon and have my eye consciousness apprehend a white snow mountain.

Pax

Hurdles and Obstacles

2010-10-17T00:56:00.003+05:30

As with any thing else in life, the study of Buddhist philosophy involves a certain ability in jump various sized hurdles. In so far as I have noticed with the progress of our studies, some of the topics that we have studied present the purpose of sharpening ones reasoning facilities, like the topic called “Substantial and Isolate Phenomena” (rdzas ldog) where part of the object is to apprehend how various existent phenomena fit into certain categories. Within the topic of Substantial and Isolate Phenomena there are eight different types of phenomena that each have their own defining characteristics of four requirements that needs to be fulfilled in order for a certain phenomena to be it. For a phenomena to be a substantial phenomena it must be “that which is a common locus such that: 1) it is an established base (meaning that it exists), 2) it is itself, 3) non-it is not it, 4) its isolate is not mutually exclusive with substantial phenomena- translated by Daniel Perdue, (khyod gzhi grub, khyod khyod rang yin, khyod ma yin khyod ma yin, khyod kyi ldog pa rdzas chos dang mi ‘gal yang yin pa’i gzhi mthun pa) .

WTF! If you brain is not spinning like mine was when I first read this then treat yourself for a rocky road ice cream cone right now! There are seven more of these to digest on, each having four requirements as the above but with the words shifting slightly to change the meaning. In short “it” (khyod) acts as an unknown variable that must be figured out. The classic example of a substantial phenomena is “pot” (bum pa) because it fulfills all four of the requirements: 1) pot is an established base (it exists), 2) pot is it itself (pot is not something other than pot), 3) non-pot is not a pot (like this laptop is non-pot so it is not a pot), 4) the isolate of pot (meaning: the reverse of being non-pot, [bum pa ma yin pa las ldog pa]) is not mutually exclusive (meaning that it shares a common locus) with substantial phenomena. This last requirement is quite strange because it is a part of the defining characteristic of substantial phenomena; this makes the logic circular and causes it to fold with in itself. This fourth requirement is also the hardest to prove on the debate courtyard.

So far in my brief experience with debate and the study of our first introduction into Buddhist reasoning, Collected Topics (bsdus grwa), most of our study contain many turgid statements as the one above and once one figures out the logic of that topic then the rest is manageable. But other topics are at a whole different level, like our current topic on the “Advance Presentation of Cause and Effect (rgyu ‘bras che ba) ”; this topic has been a royal pain in the butt for most of us and in debate it is like we are just shooting in the dark blindly. As compared to the monasteries in South India where Collected Topics is studied for three years or more, IBD does it in one. This is quite fast, some topics we just breeze through without really getting a good handle on them. With this topic which forms one of the main foundations for Buddhist practice and philosophy; if this is not understood, Buddhism as it is presented by long gone Indian Buddhist through Tibetan interpretations will not be understood.

Luckily, since it is such a crucial topic it resurfaces over and over again throughout ones dialectical studies. But at this point as a beginner it is like straight hitting ones head against a wall. This week I have spent hours just reading over and over the same four or five lines to not get a damn thing out of them. It is quiet frustrating, but we were all forewarned by Gen la that this would happen. He said that with the process of dialectical study, one always runs into things that make no sense at first, but that something is happening in the mind nonetheless. He compared it to drawing an elaborate painting, at first one draws the sketches of a figure which is not so detailed yet, but the general shape of the drawn object is known. Then as one wrestles with it, it is like the artist adding more strokes and colors of varying intensities giving depth and clarity to the painting. And so too do our studies progress and now we are all at such a point where a whispering glimpse of the figure it just starting to appear, but if you stare too hard one gets nothing. I do know that after this topic there are many such topics ahead, one that thing that is important is not to push oneself over the limit. Jeremy gave me this advice and I have been trying to stick with it, but sometimes I keep on going anyways. We all want to understand but we can not kill ourselves in the process, ‘nuff said.

We have lost some students within the last couple of months, some might return and others it seems won’t be which is really surprising. Our Taiwanese guy who knew no Tibetan has been gone for more than a month now. I thought that at first that he was going to take a few days off because he was under a lot of stress, since he only had two months of Tibetan before entering the course, he was not understanding a lot of things. As the lessons got progressively harder so did his stress. I wonder if he is still planning on coming back. Our Korean ex-genetic engineer monk just recently took a month and a half leave of absence because his elderly father got very ill. A Chinese/ Australian nun is rumored not to be returning which is the saddest of them all. For most of the last year she received private lessons on Collected Topics from the top student of the class above ours, she studied so hard and when we got into the course from the beginning she was rocking out and ahead of the game. Her mother became ill and she had to leave to tend to her but I won’t have figured that she would not be coming back.

Two other student’s mothers have gotten sick and we have been reciting prayers for them almost every evening before debate. One student just contracted malaria, probably when he went to visit another part of India recently; I have never heard of malaria being contracted up here in the mountains but that will change as the climate warms up. He had missed some class but luckily though he looks weak and has lost some weight, overall he seems to be doing OK and he is resuming his studies. He has help around here and we all hope that he will do fine. He is a sharp and friendly person; I hope that he gets well soon.

In this realm and in life in general there are always obstacles to ones goals, some controllable others not, some external others internal. But when one arises of either form how is one suppose to handle it especially if it’s an obstacle that it blocking ones path for something that one has placed a lot of time, effort, money, and sweat into? I thought about this a lot when I thought that I was not going to receive my student visa to return back to India. I was rather distraught. I had felt like all the years I had spent studying Tibetan and being in India had all gone to waste. It was quite frightening. I had to look at all of my options and luckily after finally heading to the Indian consulate in Washington, D.C. I was able to procure the visa, but man, that was sure close! I still think, what if? As we traverse through the mental hurdles of dialectical study and whatever obstacles that may come our way, I think that ones mental attitude is the most important to maintain (which is one of the hardest thing for me to do) and on top of that, to be surrounded by the influences of peers who have a steady mental attitude to provide support. In both situations I have been fortunate to have had the influences more of the latter (I hope that all of know who you are). I noticed that because I kept checking on my thoughts, like a pesty knight always putting his opponent’s king into check, throughout my visa ordeal I was a lot calmer than I would have been otherwise. If I won’t have done so I would have been very panicky. Did checking my thoughts and being more mentally calm help me in getting the visa, probably not but who knows? But I do hope that all of you who have high hopes and aspirations in life accomplish all that you seek and more even more and that it aids in progress. I do wish for this aspiration to become a possible really for this world.

Pax

P.S. The above picture has written in Sanskrit, Tibetan and English the four conditions (rkyen bzhi) which are apart of the “Advance Presentation of Cause and Effect” which “represents the conditions needed for the production of a (dualistic) consciousness. Such a consciousness is then the basis of all compounded (impermanent) phenomenon of cyclic existence” – as explained by Tony Duff and has been a pain to figure out!

Picnic Time

2010-10-10T19:17:00.003+05:30

This has been the first week of downtime that I have had since returning back to Sarah in July. A majority of my classmates last Sunday headed up to McLeod Ganj to attend the teachings that HHDL had for the Taiwanese Sangha that lasted for four days. I decided not to go and just hang out here at Sarah. I probably should have gone but I really wasn’t feeling like heading up to McLeod Ganj, my cash flow is very tight and I also needed to go to the dentist. Before I was accepted into the philosophy class I had went to a dentist who messed up my teeth and I lost some money because of it. He placed a filling in a tooth that probably didn’t need one and it fell out within a month and the tooth that I thought had a cavity did not have one, which is still baffling to me. Anyways, a friend recommended to me another dentist in Sidhbari on the way to the Gyuto Monastery where the H.H. Karmapa resides. The dentist seemed really nice, my gums are in a bad state and I need a root canal on the tooth that the other dentist messed up or so she states. It will cost about 100 bones to the get all the treatments done, cheap no doubt, but I am a bit apprehensive about her diagnosis, especially since it took her only a couple of minutes after poking in my month to figuring it out. I have heard too many horror stories of root canals that have gone wrong. Also, right now I don’t have the flow to cover the expenses for it. There is another dentist who is supposed to be very good but he is never in town so I am a bit torn and still my toothache continues mildly thus far. But I least I have a better picture of what is going on and when I do get the chance to see the other dentist I will see if his diagnosis matches that of the dentist in Sidhbari.

So the first few days of the week I spent hanging out, reading and reviewing previous topics. I was truly enjoying the downtime, sleeping in and the lot. Then on Thursday commenced the Sarah picnic which next to Losar is a rare occasion at Sarah where many folks are outside having a good time. The picnic went on for three days, a Tibetan tent was erected in the debating courtyard with a throne set up and an altar with a picture of HHDL placed on it. Most of the teachers had their meals there. Special grub was also made for the picnic. In front of the tent was another canvas roof set up where a ping pong and two carrom board tables were set up underneath it. Around this area one would see people playing cards and sho (a Tibetan dice game). Tibetan and Hindi pop music along with random Brian Adams or Michael Jackson was blasting from a sound system that echoed throughout campus and beyond. My head is still stuck with cheesy Tibetan pop songs.

In front of the courtyard there was ample opportunity to lose money. Each day one class was in charge of the events for that day. So all the games that were set up were ran by a particular class for that day. They had card games, darts, ring tosses, can knock downs, pin the tail on the donkey (though here was draw the tail on the elephant), and on another day a class had kick a soccer ball into a tire game which was a lot of fun. The game jockeys would call out to folks to come and lose money at their particular establishments. It was so nice, the atmosphere was so relaxed and there was no curfew. I knew that there were folks who stayed up all night playing cards. Many of the students took advantage of the no curfew thing. Besides Losar this is the only time where guys and girls can hang out into the morning hours without getting into trouble. Throughout the day, folks were playing games everywhere, me, I was chilling at the new court playing badminton til I drop. I was very bad at it when I first got to Sarah but I have gotten a lot better at it, though Sarah’s badminton rules are not the official rules, they are a bit more ad lib.

The Miami kids had brought some water guns so a huge water gun fight broke out by the new court and not many were immune from attack. I even saw a little Tibetan nun breaking out sneak attacks on folks, total sniper style. It was quite hilarious. It went on for an hour or two and it escalated to the point where buckets of water were just being downed on folks. I have been thinking forever about having water guns here and now I see that it works great and everyone has a good ole’ time. Now the next thing I wish to see here is a legit DDR arcade station for 2 rupees a game, I know that that will be a hit here but that is a lot harder to manifest. The first night’s entertainment was Tabula (bingo) and it is quite the event here. I did not go the first night for I have never been much of a bingo fan, but the students love it, they be hooting and hollering during it, I find it quite interesting. They’ll play for hours; it is the same thing with cards, they can sit and play game after game, hours on end and be shit talking the whole time. Though I like playing cards and I’ll lose interest after the first two hours, plus they have some many games that they play that I get all the rules mixed up after a while.

On Friday the second day of the picnic, as I was playing badminton the school secretary approached me and asked if I could translate for Denma Locho Rinpoche (see above pic) because the Miami students had small audience with him. I was quite shocked that they asked me and I think that I must have been their last option, for there are other more qualified people who could have done it. I couldn’t say no, even though I wanted to. I have never interpreted before and so I was quite nervous and to add that it was Denma Locho Rinpoche: he is quite elderly; he is a reincarnate lama and is one of the last scholars of a generation of Tibetan monks who were completely trained in one of three major Gelukpa monasteries in Tibet pre-Chinese invasion. So though it was only 15 minutes long, I was very nervous. I had few minutes to get ready, so I ran up to my room, found some clothes, took a quick shower and ran back down again. The secretary had told me that the students wanted to ask some questions about giving offerings and that no difficult questions on Buddhism would be asked. Once I got there some Sarah students where receiving blessings from the Rinpoche. All of the Miami students then lined up with kataks (white Tibetan silk offering scarfs) in hand. Rinpoche was sitting on the throne in the tent; obviously he was the main guest of the picnic. After offering kataks and prostrations they had me sitting right next to him on a Tibetan rug and the students sat immediately in front him on the ground. The Sarah principal sat directly in front of me, making me even more nervous. Rinpoche talked about giving offering to the three jewels and about having concentration on them when giving offerings and not letting the mind wander. He also talked a bit about doing simple divinations using a mantra of a major protectoress deity of the Tibetan nation Palden Lhamo. I was glad that the principal was there in the end because he helped me out when I would get stuck. One student asked about what was the correct thing for her to do with her future after college, Rinpoche didn’t answer her question but just told her that by following the instructions for the Palden Lhamo divination that he had just given that she’ll get her answer through that. I also got the feeling that he did not want to give a divination. Another student asked a more philosophical question about the fruition of karma within past, present and future lives, and Rinpoche said that he was not going to go through with that topic since it is very complicated, so he gave a very simple explanation. When I first heard the question I got nervous, but luckily it is the current topic that we are studying in philosophy class so I was familiar with the terminology. I think that for a neophyte interpreter that I didn’t do too badly, but there is a lot more room for improvement that is for sure. The Sarah principal told me that it is good practice for me.

Later on that day the 2^nd year Bachelor’s degree class was holding a talent show at 7pm. I had already made plans with some friends to go for a walk around that time. It was after dinner and I was running to my room to drop some stuff off and head out. As I was heading up, Takbum asked me if could play drums for the talent show with him, I was like, if you would have told me earlier yea, but now I have done made other plans. Then he said that he had already done signed us up, I was like why did you do that for with out asking me, we haven’t practiced or nothing. I was a bit irritated but I told him that I already made other plans. He said that that was cool and that he could do it solo and so I went about my original business. I felt bad, but I was not ready to perform in front of people like that without any preparations, I just ain’t that pimp or pimp at all. After we had returned from our walk the show had started, there was some good talent and some of my classmates were selling chai for class fundraiser. One girl from Amdo is quite skilled in the Tibetan shrilling for which I was surprised for she is a small meek girl and that voice was so loud and penetrating that at first I couldn’t believe it was coming from this soft-spoken girl. Another guy did a namthar (Tibetan opera style of singing) which is usually translated as hagiography which tells the life story of a pious saintly figure; think this one about HHDL. Because of the style of how it was sung I did not understand much. The cool thing about it is that it has a call and response aspect to it with the audience. There were also poetry readings but most of them were read in Amdo dialect which most of the students here don’t understand.

Towards the end of the show Takbum and my name was called out to perform. I had a feeling that Takbum did not erase my name from the set list. I was sitting in the back of the basketball court, there was nothing I could have done then with no preparations and so Takbum did his thing and I think at my drumming would have been more of an obstruction. Later on folks asked me where I was for the performance and I just told them what went down, I think some of my classmates might not be too happy with me and I understand. They can’t perform because they are monks and would like to see their class represented in these kinds of events.

Yesterday Saturday, was the last day of the picnic, I played a shit ton of badminton and frisbee. I was also playing with a little 6 year old whose front teeth are rotting out. It was tons of fun. It was the last day for the Miami kids at Sarah; they left for McLeod Ganj and will be staying there for two months. At about 4pm there was a ritual prayer recitation with the principal of IBD playing the ritual master, juniper branches were being burned as offerings and at the end we all formed a big circle in the courtyard and handfuls of tsampa (roasted barley flour) was passed out. The guy who sung the namthar last night was asked to do another one to conclude the ritual so with three slowly drawn out yelps with call back responses, a kikikii and a huge Lha Gyalo!! (Victory to the gods), the tsampa was tossed up in the air. The last official picnic function was Tabula again but this time the venture was the new court in front of the girl’s dorm, I sat in for some of it, but after a while I went to chill with an American and a French student and we just shot the shit for a while and that was that, picnic time was over. I have been undisciplined throughout the picnic time so now I must get back on track. This time has been so nice and fulfilling, I wish Sarah had more of these kinds of events but now we will all have to wait until Losar.

Pax

Vande Mataram

2010-10-04T17:02:00.002+05:30

Vande Mataram

10-02-2010 Gandhi Jayanti, The birthday of Mahatma Gandhi, Indian newspapers were filled with praises to the Father of their dear Nation of Bharat. I was wondering if it was a bad omen that my Gandhi pin, which I have had since college, accidentally fell into the toilet this morning for if it was any other day I wouldn’t even bat an eye, but now I am a bit suspicious, hmmm. Anyway, we normally would have had a day off but I think that with the approaching HHDL teachings and the Sarah College picnic next week that it won’t make sense to give us an extra day off. On the official calendar it stated today as a holiday but obviously it was cancelled since I was clapping and stomping in debate this morning. I guess sometimes it is no good to have ones hopes up. Every week I am surprised that the end of week has arrived so quickly. Anyone looking at Sarah from the exterior could not possibility imagine the level of busyness that is happening here since everything seems so relaxed; I know that I have not held a schedule this rigorous since working at Tokico; luckily this schedule is more conducive to practicing inner contentment and gaining knowledge than slave driving in a factory.

Last Sunday as I was having a late breakfast one of the Miami University guys invited me to Tatavani, a hot spring about an hour a way from campus. I had planned a day of review, but as thought it over, maybe sitting in a hot spring was not such a bad idea. The hot spring is situated in a small village Shiva temple. A bit off to the side is a small white tiled pavilion with a square hole on the ground for performing Agni (fire) pujas (ritual). In front of that is a small altar where a Shivalinga took the prominent position. To the far side of the pavilion it looked like some sort of graveyard filled with marijuana plants and several small pyramid-like tripled tiered structures with Shivalingas on them scattered in the area. The actually hot spring is next to the altar down a few steps where there is a room with a square pool big enough to fit about six people. To the back of the room about a foot and half above the pool is a stone carved lion’s head jutting out of the wall with hot water continuously pouring out of its mouth. I have been here a couple of times and I love the spot and since the acoustics are excellent it is also a good place for practicing throat singing, when no one is not around of course. I have some serious kinks in my upper back and shoulders so I like to let that hot lion water work on it for bit. If it was up to me I would stay in the hot spring all day long.

Before we had gotten there, normally there is a path that starts a bit up the hill. The hot spring is by a river and with the normal path one only had to the cross the river once but for some reason it seemed like that path was closed and the taxi driver took us to a spot where we needed to cross the river three times. I have to say that I was not too enthusiastic about our future venture, those rocks are slippery, I was carrying some books with me so if I fell in that would have blown chunks, and it was hard to tell how deep that water was, with it sometimes reaching my chest. But slowly we did it, and I mean slowly. Thanks to my trusty chacos I did fine, another guy at times was on his hands and knees from slipping on the rocks constantly. At some points I had to place my bags on my head to avoid them from getting wet. One of my books did get wet but not too bad. By the time we had finished the third river crossing we met the initial group of Miami students (accompanied by some Sarah students and staff) who had been at there since that morning. They were heading to another spot in the opposite direction from which we had just came from, a friend told me that they had decided to change locations since a group of local hard legs where gawking at the fair & lovely ladies from abroad. After we were done at the hot springs we returned to meet with the bigger group, first having a rock skipping contest and then we swam in the river for a bit and chatted with some of the local boys. I have not swam in a while so a little of bit swimming tired me plum out. Some parts of the river are not very wide but swimming across it about done me in, my ass is out of shape for sure.

On the way back to Sarah we stopped in Gaggal for some food and a lassi and it gave me a chance to chat up the Miami kids up for a bit. Though they have been here for several weeks now, I have barely had the opportunity to chat with any of them. They all seemed very nice and also to be enjoying their time at Sarah. Since being at Sarah I have met many of the study-abroad students that come through and it seems to me that each group is always different. When I chat with them I get to feel like I am back at home for bit. Anyways, after it was all said and done I was very happy to have had that last minute invitation to the hot spring.

Moving right along, after one of monks from the Advanced Hindi Teachers Training Course schooled all of our three group’s assertions on Friday night’s damja, he gave us an impromptu glance into the Tibetan views on the energy systems of the body. I was quite impressed that this monk had so much knowledge particularly about Tibetan and Ayurvedic medicines, a knowledge that he used to defeat our final assertion. In the Tibetan system it seems that all impermanent phenomenon are made out of eight types of minute particles or atoms (rdul rdzas brgyad): 1 form particle (gzugs rdul), 2 smell particle (dri rdul), 3 taste particle (ro rdul), 4 touch particle (reg bya’i rdul), 5 earth particle (sa rdul), 6 water particle (chu rdul), 7 fire particle (me rdul), and 8 air particle (rlung rdul). Certain impermanent phenomenon would have one or a combination of these particles in dominance depending on what it is. For example, though ice is said to be mainly dominated by the water particle its solidity is held together by the earth particle.

Our minds or souls are said to reside with our bodily winds that traverse throughout a kind of nervous system within our bodies and so it is composed primarily of the air particle. This thought is not unfamiliar to those who know Reiki or Kundalini yoga. Where groups of nerves meet or intersect along the spinal cord in large concentrations are called chakras (rtsa ‘khor), in which the monk pointed out on his body where they were located. He was telling us that accomplished yogis are capable of controlling their minds through various practices, like visualizations, meditation, etc. This idea is not only found in Buddhism but also in other faiths of the sub-continent, Hinduism, Jainism and maybe to some extent Sufism as well. This is generally mostly heard of on teachings on tantra (rgyud). All of our classes are sutra (mdo) classes for it is not until one has finished all of their sutric studies that then one is allowed to study the tantras. But this also depends on which sect of Tibetan Buddhism one is studying under and ones teacher, for they all defer in this respect. Because the prize teachings of the Tibetans are their tantric teachings many sects tend to guard it for lineage of transmission is very important, secrecy is very important and a solid understanding of the sutras are very important. Anyways, it was nice for this monk to share with us his knowledge in other fields of study, we all were very appreciative. I am a bit tired, catch ya later!

Pax

30 thirty minutes to download

2010-09-27T17:00:00.002+05:30

Though we have half days on Saturdays, instead of lecturing Gen la has given us what normally would be lecture time study time in the temple. Usually at that time I would either review previous chapters or practice memorization. The practice of memorization, though at times it can seem mindless is very taxing to the mind which is not used to the process. I have come to call it in my downloading session. The most important thing about the whole process is regularity and checking the text for correctness. Every morning and night I recite from the beginning up until whatever topic we are currently studying, all the defining characteristics and their divisions that need to be known from memory having the text near by in case I have forgotten something. Of course at the beginning reciting them did not take long because we had only studied a few chapters, but now that we have studied 10 chapters it takes about 30 minutes to recite the whole thing and of course there is new stuff to memorize quite regularly also.

I have noticed that some things are easier to memorize than others. Many times, built into a particular text are mnemonic devices to aid the process, like having certain phrases that repeat themselves after a certain set of stanzas or after a certain set of categories throughout the text similar to a chorus or a hook in a song . My classmates are machines when it comes to memorizing since they have been doing it since childhood. Our chant leader had down in his memory the entire Lama Choepa liturgy within a couple of days. It was performed this pass Thursday since 49 days had passed since the disaster in Ladakh. This liturgy is about 2 hours long and it includes various chants with different rhythms and melodies and in a certain order which must be followed. And still he had to do the memorizations for class. If I did not recite my memorizations every day I will forget them in an instant. There have been many times when I have been glad that I have kept up with the practice, because sometimes I don’t feel like doing them, it takes a while to do them and my brain really feels it, just like a hard workout. In this world one hears stories about Geshes who have memorized all of their many root texts of study, 16 to 20 years worth. We are talking thousands upon thousands of pages. Some could be tall-tales for sure it if wasn’t for the fact that in most places or monastic communities where debate is studied memorization examinations are a must and mind you that these exams are done in front of everyone. Most novice monks go through with it before they are allowed to advice to the classes on philosophy.

I witnessed some of my friends pass their examination by being the chant leader for the Vajrakilaya tantric liturgy at the Sakya Centre in Dehra Dun, which is ten hours a day for ten days. Here the chant leader has a drum part to go along with it. As I was there watching my friends knock these long phrases with complicated tongue twisting mantras for hours on end non-stop without a book in sight, I was thoroughly impress and now I have more of an appreciation of what it takes to do that. Although at IBD there are no memorization exams, without memorizing at least the main defining characteristics and their division one can not possibly debate. The first thing that we learned was how to debate a outline starting with the simple ones (colors and their defining characteristics, division, etc.) and as the chapters got more involved, more complicated ones were learnt, struggling to seek out their meanings by comparing phenomenon using tetralemmas, trilemmas, etc.

Gen la’s book, which he wrote to serve as a guide to studying the “Tutor’s Collected Topic” (yongsdzin bsdus grwa) has each chapter divided in two sections, the first being the section that has to be downloaded (blo ‘dzin gyi rim pa) and the second being the section that explains difficult points (dogs gcod kyi rim pa). Some chapters might have a page or two to be downloaded; our current chapter on the Advance Presentation of Cause and Effect (rgyu ‘bras che ba’i rnam gzhag) has near five pages though the pages sizes are not very large. When we begin our study of “Types of reasoning” (rtags rigs) we will have 20 normal sized pages to download. For the guys it is nothing but I think that I am not in the only foreigner in my class that feels a bit apprehensive about it, since we all come from cultures where memorization has not been the main part of our education. But also I think about all the stuff that I have downloaded since class has started and it adds up though I am not sure if it comes to 20 pages. Since I have heard that the more one does it the better one gets at it I have been sticking strictly to the practice. I just doubt that my mind has the capacity to hold all that stuff and as the more I memorize the more I am surprise that it fits up there in my dome some how.

My classmates all use various ways of memorizing. All will pick a certain melody and used that as an aid; since at the beginning we might not necessarily understand exactly what is being memorize the aural aid serves to help it stay in mind. I have not found a melody to use for memorizing as of yet, I don’t have a Tibetan accent so if I copy what my classmates use it doesn’t sound right so I need to find one that works for my voice. I have tried rapping it but it sounds über ridiculous. Some do it cross-legged rocking back and front or side to side on their bums, while others pace around. I prefer the pacing method because sitting cross-legged for long hours on end has been quite a challenge for me since coming to India, so I seek any moment when I don’t have to do it. With the pacing it feels quite nice, like a slow strolling but with a book in your hands and plus it gets the blood flowing after all that sitting. What I have been doing is that since most of the defining characteristics are crazy ass tongue twisters and they can be quite long, I break them up in to bite size chunks, repeating the crap out of them until I can say them effortlessly without looking at the text. Once I have gotten that then I will string them back together and repeat and repeat until I can spit it out without looking at the text. As I progress, for every line memorized I will return to the beginning of the chapter and recite it from memory up until the line that I have last memorized. As you can imagine, this is quite time consuming and I have not figured out another way to do it. I hope that with time I will be able to do it quicker.

During our studying period this Saturday morning some of my classmates and I were pacing in memorization on the veranda that surrounds the temple. As I was pacing towards the front to the temple I noticed that Sarah had a very special surprise visitor. Ama Jetsun Pema, HHDL’s sister, was just standing in front of the main administrative building. It took me as a wee shock. Ama Jetsun Pema, besides being the Big D’s sister was the main driving force behind the TCV (Tibetan Children Village) for many years, where a multitude of Tibetan orphans have been housed, reared, educated and cared for. Many call her Ama (Mother) since she has been a mother to plenty of children who have left theirs back in Tibet. She is shown a lot of respect and is highly regarded. So I was surprised to see her just standing there chillin’ at Sarah.

Pax

A hint of autumn and the end of the Monsoon…. I hope!

2010-09-20T16:58:00.002+05:30

Circa 12:55am 09-18-2010 as the sounds of last night’s debate still resounded in my mind stream the feeling of vertigo overcame me snatching me from my R.E.M. sleep. During those first few seconds of wakefulness I immediately realized that my bed, my room, my dorm and in fact all of Sarah and beyond was oscillating. It lasted for about 5 or 6 seconds and soon afterwards the bell was sounded to call all of the students outside. Once I had walked down those five flights of stairs I witnessed a bunch of half-awake zombies wrapped in blankets, meandering the basketball court, many not knowing why the hell the bell was sounded at 1 o’clock in the morning. One of my classmates came to me and asked me, “Why are we out here?” I was like, “You didn’t feel the tremor?” “Nope” he said. “If you were sleeping how did you know that the tremor was happening?” he asked. “It woke me up, dude. My bed I was shaking, I’m bound to feel it” I said and so it went. We stayed on the basketball court for about a half an hour until we were all called back to our rooms. I knew that when I resumed to lay down that I would be tossing for a bit and as I tossed and turned I reflected about when was the last time that I had felt a tremor and also about the first time that I had felt one.

The first one that I had felt was in McLeod Ganj fall of ’05 and that tremor ended up being a devastating earthquake in the isolated mountainous regions of Kashmir and Pakistan killing over 100,000 people. Then as in now, I stayed in a very non-earthquake friendly environment a ways up on TIPA Road, though Sarah is slightly safer. The last one, I want say, happened some time last year. I was in my old room on the 3^rd floor and sometime in the morning, around 9 or 9:30am my room shook and my door knocked as though the cops were about to bust a clandestine meth lab. The buildings that we live in and occupy daily are made out of about 95% cement and 5% rebar, since last night new cracks have appeared on my veranda. These items are not known for their flexibility or for their ability to absorb shock. But it does allow many institutions with low-budgets such as Sarah to build and organize a college. With me being on the fifth floor, I think that I felt the tremor more pronouncedly than my second and first floor counterparts. Our building, similar to a tuning fork after it has been struck, vibrated more pronouncedly at the top since that is where the tension is being released. I think that’s why many of my schoolmates, besides being deep sleepers, didn’t feel a thing.

It does scare me though, the whole earthquake thing, with being from the East Coast US; one is not used to the idea of earthquakes unlike our West Coast dwellers. The idea of the most solid that we know moving takes a bit of getting use to. If one hits pretty hard, if won’t be so pretty around here that is for sure. Especially this year after, Haiti, Chile and Tibet having been decimated by powerful earthquakes I wonder how steady the Dharamshala area is at this point. The last major one that hit here was during the time of the British Raj in 1904, where many of the Raj’s upper echelons frequented McLeod Ganj to escape the ferocious of heat of the Delhi summer. Even Sir Francis Younghusband, the man known to have forcefully opened Tibet up to British influence by marching an army equipped with then modern arms to Lhasa in the early 20^th century, visited McLeod Ganj. This area is an earthquake hotspot, as a seismology expert showed us on a map a few years ago. But really what to do if one really hits? Diving under my bed is the best thing that I can do and hold on tight. I figure that since I am on the fifth floor I might be fine, but that is really a false hope, I asked a friend, “What is worst falling down five floors or having five floors falling on top of you?” As in Upper TCV, TIPA, Gangkyi, and Norbulingkha, Sarah has a black earthquake protecting stupa built on it at the request of the HHDL after a seemingly seismically volatile period. We’ll now see as to their effectiveness. One of my classmates told me today after lunch that he had heard on the radio news that there are possibilities for further tremors tonight and within the next incoming days, let us see what transpires.

Since moving to this room with the back facing the majestic Dhauladhar range, I have sat on my veranda wondering about the people who live up one those mountains. Of course the thought of the local Gaddi goat and sheep herders come to mind, but also since this is India one, well at least I, can not but help to think about the many caves and huts that dot the area and some of its inhabitants. I have been to a cave below the Bhagsu waterfall that was once inhabited by a Shiavite yogi known as Jungli Baba who had passed on a few years back before I had come to India. The cave’s innards contained painted cravings of various Hindu deities and a Shivalinga situated prominently on the ground. Two summers ago, I went along with a group of students from Emory University and some Dialectic School professors to a stone hut, way way above McLeod Ganj to visit an Ex-Dialectic School student who has been on retreat on that mountain for some time. Inside was quaint with a wooden meditation box, a slab of wood for doing prostrations which was bending concave from years of use. The retreatant seemed happy to see some visitors especially ones who were interested in the Dharma.

Last Sunday since we had a full two day weekend, I went to McLeod Ganj to meet with my friend Jeremy who is now in the upper campus. He is really good with debate having studied Tibetan and Sanskrit as an undergrad at the University of Wisconsin Madison and as a grad student at Harvard. He also has a decent knowledge of both Western and Eastern Philosophy so he knows the exact language to use for this and his mastery of Tibetan and Sanskrit are impressive to say the least. So I always holla at him for questions. Last year before he left Sarah to the IBD campus I would go to his room to seek his advice in dialectics. Here is a clip of Jeremy in action during an all-night debate. Because he is now in McLeod Ganj and for lack of time I can’t chat him up as much as I would like so only when I have sufficient time can I take the trek up the hill. Anyways, he called me early last Sunday morning and suggested that we go and take a hike up the mountain and we’ll find a spot where I could ask questions about debate.

When I finally arrived in McLeod Ganj and met with him the weather was looking rather iffy but we decided to head on up any ole’ how. First we went to a pizzeria in Dharamkot that makes some pretty decent pizza. He was telling me that the weekend before as he was hiking up the mountain that he had met a Russian guy who had been living in a cave about half way up to Triund for the pass two years and that if I felt inclined we could go visit him. But Jeremy gave me a warning; the path to this man’s cave is quite treacherous. And after our delicious pizzas, for I was hungry as hell and since I didn’t have breakfast it was especially nice to have something else besides Sarah food for a change. So we begun our ascent, first losing our bearings but eventually we found our way. As we walked Jeremy was recounting to me about a time when he was walking on the same path that he had happened upon a group of hysterical Gaddi women crying surrounding a guy had just fallen off a roof, drunk he guessed, cracked his head and died right then and there. And there was Jeremy and another Israel backpacker on the scene as the only foreigners around. Pretty heavy! I once pretty much carried an old drunk Indian guy, who had fallen flat on his face on the road half way up to TIPA smashing his nose, all the way up this path and above to his abode hoping that his relatives will clean the drunk’s nose and but him to bed. One never knows what one will encounter when one hikes around these parts.

The clouds were bearing into the valley ahead of us as we ascended, dark, gray and light all intermingled in a kaleidoscope of “it is going to freakin’ rain buddy!” But we ignored it; Jeremy stated that when he had came up the week before that the clouds had cleared up after he had reached a certain height. But I was thinking; this is Dharamshala, the weather here is just too unpredictable.

Finally after about an hour and a half of ascension, he identified the landmark that marked the beginning of the path to the cave. It wasn’t much of a path; it appeared more like a goat path than a people path. Plus by the time we had gotten there it had been raining on us pretty good. Luckily we each had umbrellas but I was wearing my champion sneaks which don’t do good in the mud and on a bad trail. The beginning of the trail had wet grass folded over it and when I looked over the edge the possibility of a fall to imminent death seemed all too real. We had to duck and stretch around huge boulders and weave through some rhododendron groves on a thin slippery edge. This so called trail was very erratic; at times we had to climb down the path holding on to the exposed rhododendron roots and the rocks to progress further. Jeremy said that this cave dweller could really bust a move on this trail. I was like; well no doubt, he had been living there for two years.

Finally after all that we made it. I was bit muddy and wet; the guy seemed happy to have visitors and invited us in. He moved about his habitat hunched over on his haunches like Gollum but in no way creepy. He had built a small wooden door with a glass window in the front and constructed a stone wall to the right side to reduce the exposure. He had also built himself a tin stove low to the ground for heating and cooking, the stovepipe seem to lead to the back exposed part of the cave giving the smoke a decent exiting route. Close by was a creek overflowing with monsoon water and of course he also gathered rain water. To the front and around the cave there was a vast supply of wood, mostly rhododendrons. Various tools were strewn in the front, an axe, a saw, etc. Inside was quite small; the cave dweller himself was not a big man so it seems fine for just him. He was a bit straggly, about in his late forties/early fifties, his salt and pepper light brown hair was in a ponytail slightly balding on the top. He had a section in the back where he seasoned his wood, an aluminum box for storing perishable goods. In the corner immediately to the left was a bed and besides that an altar with seven tiny metal water bowls offered and several pictures of some Rinpoches and deities. I did not recognize any of the Rinpoches so I assumed that maybe he was a follower of Bon (the religion that was in Tibet before the advent of Buddhism). But also there was none of the tell-tale signs of a meditative retreatant either. His teacher is the head of a Bonpo lineage in Solan which is near Shimla. Immediately he kindly prepared us some simple food made from gathered mountain and market veggies, he proceeded to explain how he had found this cave in his distinct Russian accent.

He had initially found it 16 years ago from an Argentine guy was on retreat there for about a year. The Argentine was a student of Lama Zopa. He told us that had came there to seek a different way of life and he said that this time has been the happiest time of his life, he didn’t know how long he would stay and that he could not ask for anything more. He was living with a Tibetan monk before the finally to decided on this cave. This place is way isolated and the chances of seeing another person causally traversing that path are highly unlikely. He had an imitate knowledge of the local geography and about various other caves around the area. Jeremy was interested with what he had to say about caves and their location seeing that he might want to spend a few days in one. He knew if there was water available around them not, if the herders used them on not and so on. I asked about wildlife and his said that he had seen black bears and has heard the purring of a leopard outside his cave one night, which sounded like a deep rumbling motor but had never seen one. Being in this cave reminded me of my hobbled days on the road as a young adult; when I used to squat far off in the woods. So in that respect there was some familiarity with the ambiance of the setting.

The food that he made us was very tasty despite its humble ingredients. He said that some of his food he had gotten from the market; that he gathers some of the herbs and veggies that grew in the mountains and also that at times he would go to a farmer and just ask for veggies. I am sure that at first it must take some of those farmers aback, but upon seeing him one knows that he is not your average Westerner chillin’ in Dharamshala, even to local eyes. We stayed there for awhile since we did not expect that he would cook, and so time passed by. Jeremy and I did not get to talk shop, but this random trek up the mountain in the rain was a delight. After bidding adieu to our new friend, a Russian cave dweller, we reversed our steps as the sun was setting.

On the way down, Jeremy gave me some advice about dialectics and about being in the course in general as a Westerner which I of course found very helpful. We left the cave at about 5pm and got to McLeod Ganj at about five minutes to seven. I was a bit worried about catching a bus down to Lower Dharamsala so late. I knew that the shared taxis would have stopped running by then. After saying bye to Jeremy, I headed to the bus stand luckily to find one bus heading down the hill with its ultimate destination being Dehra Dun. My feet and legs were killing me, it hurt to the bone. Jeremy said that nothing had helped him more for his reasoning skills than a long hike in the mountains, though that is yet to been seen for me, my legs where feeling it for sure. When I finally made it to Gaggal, everything was shut down, there was not a taxi to be had and so I (with my already hurting ass legs) commenced a half hour walk to campus in the dark. By the time I had made it to campus the rain started to pour again, but luckily I had my best friend for the monsoon with me, a rainbow stripped umbrella so I was fine, except for my paws. Anyways now when I sit on my porch and look out at the mountains I wonder how my Russian hermit is fairing it in his cave in the clouds.

This monsoon just seems never ending, but I know for sure that the end is to come soon. And how do I do this? Well around the end of monsoon every year some very scary looking spiders (as the one shown in the above picture) start nesting and growing everywhere. These spiders scare the be-jesus or should I say the be-buddha out of me. But their return indicates the beginning of autumn and the end of the monsoon. The weather is slowly cooling down particularly at night, we are just a few days away from the equinox and I am ready for it. Also there is a campus picnic coming up soon for a few days which will be fun for sure.

Throughout the week during our night debates including the damjas and our regular one and one debates, the two monks who came to our all-night debate last week Friday has been returning and this time with more of their classmates. Debating with these guys is hard as hell. It is like someone who has gain some decent familiarity with chess and that person is playing against a grandmaster. The level of eloquence and reasoning is at a whole different level than what is currently in our class, but these encounters had provided us with new ideas for debate topics, different ways to looks at the topics and to look deeper into the meaning of things.

One thing that has come up over and over again with these advanced monks debating us, and why I now I have a better sense as to why Tibetans call the study of dialectics defining characteristics (tshan nyid), is because it is the defining characteristics that many of us mindlessly state as reasons without digging into their meanings. These guys know how to dig and find weakness in ones understanding and draw it out into the open. It is quite remarkable really, though at times that understanding could be one that one holds very dearly. Also another thing that stands out is that how one understands Tibetan grammar is very important to debate since the Tibetan sentence structure is very agglutinable where words can be sliced apart at different sections in the syntax that changes the meaning. Like for example, shes bya ma yin pa’i spyi (pronounced something like shay ja ma yin pe chi) could mean both an object of knowledge that is not a universal or that an object of knowledge is the universal of not being.

Other instances create a situation where the subject (chos can) losses its power (chos can nus med) and this only happens when the query has a subject tied into the predicate. For example, the subject permanent phenomenon, it follows that sound is impermanent because it is an object of hearing by an ear consciousness (rtag pa chos can/ sgra mi rtag pa yin par thal/ rna shes kyi mnyan bya yin pa’i phyir). Since there are two subjects, permanent phenomenon being the first and sound being the second, which is placed within the predicate as sound is impermanent, the first subject permanent phenomenon losses its power because sound is impermanent and because it is an object of hearing by an ear consciousness. And so it is in such a situation that the defender should accept the query or end up with tons of ridiculous consequences bombarded on them. It has taken many of us awhile to get use to this and it is like a beginning chess player learning how to recognize a checkmate or a stalemate, one does not even see it happening until it is too late or it goes by unnoticed.

As we continue to study, more and more of the bigger picture is slowly being revealed. We are slowly beginning to see what the issues are within the school of thought we are currently studying. Although it wouldn’t be until next year that we will learn to outright identify which view belongs to which school but according to Tibetan nomenclature (grub mtha’) the position of our current texts on logic and reasoning follows the Sautrantika (mdo sde pa) or Sutra school position with the others being the Vaibhashika (bye brag smra ba) Great Exposition school, Cittamatra (sems tsam pa) Mind-Only school and the big doozer Madhyamika (dbu ma pa) Middle Way school. Although the Vaibhashika is seen as the lowest school, we start with the Sautrantika which is the next one up; both assert the selflessness of self (gang zag gi bdag med) but deny the selflessness of phenomenon (chos kyi bdag med). The Vaibhashika and the Sautrantika schools are categorized as Hinayana (theg chung) Small Vehicle schools because adherents of these schools seek their own personal enlightenment and the Cittamatra and the Madhyamika schools are categorized as Mahayana (theg chen) Great Vehicle schools because adherents of these schools, make the pledge to hold off their own final enlightenment until all sentient beings have achieved enlightenment. Tibetans take the Madhyamika position that all phenomenon lack any inherent existence or that it is empty (shunyata, stong pa nyid) of its own inherent existence as being the most correct position.

Due to the fact that the selflessness of self has been used a lot in our texts and because it is the largest overall pervader meaning that if something is either an existent or a non-existent then it is necessarily the selflessness of self. But so far I think that we are still a ways away before touching that topic in-depth and we are even further away from discussions on emptiness. When asked in class Gen la just says that we will have to wait until next year to tackle it properly and I also think that he does not want to make us more confused than we already are. Our studies move step by step, each new topic depends on the previous learnt topic in order to be tackled and as we are studying the preceding chapters, one feels like a one is peeling off the layers of a humongous onion very slowly one layer at a time. Slowly I have gained some competence in debate, but I still have a long way to go though. Twice a week some of us have been meeting early in the morning before morning debate with Gen Sonam la, a Nepali Geshe Lharampa who looks like Malcolm X in maroon robes who has been answering some of our doubts. Also I just started helping a French student with some of the basics of debate once a week.

I have been happy to see that the Sarah ladies have started organizing themselves. They recently founded a group called the Daughters of the Potala palace (po ta la sras mo’i tshog pa) and last Monday they organized their first function as a group, an all female roundtable debate to discuss issues pertinent to them, there role in the community and culture. I think this is a great first step and I hope that the seeds of change in the realm of gender in the community can grow and progress.

A few days ago during our mandatory study period in the afternoon, one of my classmates came up to me as I was ambulating around the temple veranda doing some memorizations. He asked me to explain to him a song that he had written in his notebook in English. As soon as I saw the first line I automatically realized that it was the Star-Spangled Banner, I was loss for words. Besides knowing that it was written during the war of 1812 or during a battle in the war of 1812 I could not explain the meaning of it to him or even who wrote it. He did not know that it was the US National Anthem. He asked me if I had it memorized, I told him nope. In India all the children in school are made to memorize the Indian National Anthem and they sing it daily. I can still remember the Pledge of Allegiance but the National Anthem…. Forget it. He was surprised at this, but what can I say. I guess I am not as patriotic as I should be.

Pax

Dawn of the Dreads…

2010-09-13T17:11:00.002+05:30

Ngagpa

Sadhu

There are times when it comes to writing updates that I am quite unsure as to how to start and then there are times when it just comes out naturally. Sometimes I might feel that I have nothing to say or that nothing of interest has happened in this or that particular week but then I sit in front of my dinosaur of a laptop and four or five hours have passed. This week basically started with the welcoming concert for the students of Miami University which was quite nice. The room where it happened was quite hot and stuffy but I think that it gave a good intro to the campus for the newly arrived students. There is one more such concert to come when the Emory students arrive in the winter. Many students and classmates asked me why I didn’t perform anything, many remembering some of my previous performances from by gone years and I really didn’t have a good answer. I was supposed to have drummed with Takbum for the Founder’s Day concert but that was cancelled because of the tragedies in Ladakh and Amdo, so no initiative was taken to prepare something for this one, maybe for the next one though, big maybe! Today we were graced with the presence of the students of the University of California Irvine, who gave the student body an intro to the their trip here in India and to their experiences in Tibetan Exile, visiting various Tibetan schools and attending the HHDL teachings on the Heart Sutra and the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva. I was not able to attend the teachings since I had class but during break I was able to listen in on the radio. I had a sense of novelty listening to the HHDL on the FM radio.

A few days ago as I was debating with one of my classmates and in between our debate he was stating he dislike for some the writings posted around campus by Takbum. I have not read any of these postings but it seems to me that Takbum is avid writer and likes to writes his options and post them for all to see. My debate partner that day felt that Takbum writing criticizing monks was very inappropriate especially since he is a Tibetan and is here studying philosophy with mostly monks. He said it is ok for foreigners to write critically about Tibetan culture and what not, but for Takbum, as a Tibetan who has escaped from Tibet and is now living in exile, to write such things is like “shitting where one eats”. His leader as a Tibetan is a monk (HHDL), the administrative leaders of the college plus his own professor, who is teaching him dialectics are also monks.

He perceived that his writings were implying that there are no good monks saying that most of them have secret desires for the pleasures in life like everyone else. My debate partner stated that just because one is wearing robes, does not mean that they have conquered desire, but it does mean that when desire does arise in a particular monastic that they’ll refer to the teachings and practice the techniques for the reduction of desire and or that they’ll ask advice from a more experienced monk as to how to deal with it. Takbum does not know how it is to be a monk; with many becoming so before they have the faculties of choice. In Spiti where my debate partner and various monks in our course are from it is customary for the family to assign their second male child to be a monk from birth. He said that Takbum should go to Spiti and post his writings there, for then maybe that custom might be abolish and then the individual could have the choice of taking robes later on in life if they so wish which is better.

He had hear some rumors from one of his friends that Takbum was at another school where he had posted his writings starting kind of a writing battle with another student who disagreed with what he wrote and that eventually the school expelled him for his writings and that is why he is here at Sarah. But I ask the question, if Takbum is that distrustful of monks why would he apply to a course in Buddhist philosophy where one is surrounded by them. He could just join the bachelor’s degree course and be amongst laypeople. My friend thinks that Takbum is off his rocker. I do have to say that if his writings do not seem to show both sides of a picture then that writing can be damaging. I have met many bad monks (being ripped off by one my first month in India) and I have met plenty of good monks, I understand them to be human first with the same internal struggles as the rest of us and that many of them but not all have taken to heart the practice of the alleviation of suffering for all sentient beings. My debate partner said that what if he goes and writes a book condemning monks and all then that would not be good and could cause problems for Takbum and the Tibetan community at large. Anyways I found the whole discourse interesting, though I am unsure as to Takbum’s incentives for publicly posting he options around campus.

Towards the beginning of the week we did not have lecture of two days for some the monks were studying how to be an Umze or chant leader. Two chant leaders were brought down from IBD to educate them, since our monks are unfamiliar with the yearly rituals that are done at Sarah and also, during daily prayers before evening debate the melody is quite off. A lot of this is due to fact that some of the students don’t follow the chant leader and just belt out of sync or rush the chant. The other part is that our current chant leader chants in a low voice as it is so we can hardly hear him. The chant leader from our class is responsible for all the rituals that need to be done on campus including the daily morning prayers and the Wednesday night prayers. On Monday the IBD chant leader led and that was such a big difference. It was quite nice and everything flowed great. The Tibetan chanting style is quite different from the chanting of other Buddhist traditions where their style is very slow, Tibetans generally chant very fast and they have tons of prayers too, of which a lot of them memorized at a young age. Since we did not have lecture for those days, the rest of us had study period which was great, I need all the study time I can get.

This Friday was the Friday before the second Saturday of the month meaning that an all-night debate was in store. We found out from Gen la that some of the monastics who are on campus attending the Advance Hindi Teacher’s Training course are Buddhist scholars in there own right. Many having studied in South India and that a few of them are Geshes (Ph.d in Buddhist Philosophy) and amongst them one is a Lharampa Geshe (crème de la crème of Geshes) and that he gave them an open invitation to attend and participate in our all night debate this Friday. Many of us started getting nervous; though there are some of us who have studied debate in South India most of us are very green. So talk surfaced “what are we to do when some of big shot comes and smacks us down?” Gen la said that he invited them so that we can learn from it and to take it as a learning experience.

And so for two days, each group tried to organize the debates that they would ask which is hard as hell. There are so many unknown variables and factors that arise in debate that I am baffled as how to go about it. Learning this skill is very important though, especially when our final and only exam of the year comes right before Losar vacation. Our exam is pretty random, each student is to prepare a debate, at the beginning of the exam two names are drawn from a hat at random, the first name sits as defender and the second as challenger and then go at it for 10 minutes. After that time is exhausted the challenger will then sit as defender and another name is drawn from the hat and that person will be the new challenger. It goes on like this until every one has gone. Two Geshes are called in from another monastery to act as judges and supposedly have no relations with Sarah or IBD. Has a defender you will have no clue as to what topic will be presented to you. In the second year an essay element is added, so at least then if one bombs the debate exam you still have a chance with the written part. I have noticed with me that I would know a topic fine but when it comes to debating it, I don’t do so good. So this exam makes me nervous.

So for last night’s all-night debate, out of my group I was one of the six selected to sit as defender for our group. Luckily, two amongst us are pretty good and also we were to last to sit as defenders. Two monks from the Advanced Hindi Teacher’s Training course showed up. At first they sat down without saying too much, but eventually as our chaos ensued one of them stood up and took central stage and hammered every group that he debated with. It was then that it became clear to me the difference between let say the guys in our class who are good and some one like this monk who debated in a very solid and clear manner. Many of us were quite impressed and hopefully inspired and humbled. When my group came up to sit as defenders, this monk got us good. His responses to our answers were quite solid and immediate and as I looked at my classmates the feeling that we are really young and not mature was apparent. It also gave me some hope that maybe some day I could actually get good at this.

After he had left, there was still another group to challenge us and towards the end of that debate I became the butt of many jokes being thrown at us. One of my fellow group members was stuck by using the logic that if there are no impermanent phenomenon and existent phenomenon then any thing goes (gang dran dran), as it is stated in our main text. That was turned into that I did not have hair on my head because anything goes, which he accepted or if I was on top of his head and farted then anything goes, which he also accepted. At this, I and the other defenders just lost it, I couldn’t stop laughing. It went on like this for awhile. Gen la was on the sidelines for this whole episode and his laughter reverberated throughout the temple. Some of the things that my classmates come up with in debate are quite hilarious. But in the overall manner, this just reinforced to me that we are all “new fish”.

Now I have a full weekend ahead of me which I plan to combine with study and relaxation. Earlier I was on my balcony kickin’ some beats with my beloved djembe and some of my classmates gave me a visit, looking at my drum, checking out my room and the like. One tried to play it but couldn’t get a sound out of it. They asked my some questions about it and what not and I was happy to share a little about it with them. Throughout my time with them since the beginning of the course, many of my classmates are amazed that my hair is real, which is some ways is understandable but also since there are traditions in both Hinduism and Tibetan Buddhism of mendicants who have narlyier dreadlocks than me, I figured that they could easily make the association in hairstyles. The Sadhus of Shaivite Hinduism have some incredible locks, as do the Topdens or Ngagpas of Tibetan Buddhism, both who do not cut their hair while on meditative retreat. When I mention this to my classmates then they make the connection. They always ask me if my hair is real, or if I wash them, or when I wash it do all the matts unmatt themselves, or if their kind of hair could be done like mine. And it is not the monks alone, since coming to India these very same question have arose, even in 2005 when I didn’t have dreadlocks. Part of the amazement is in the curliness of my hair, there are unfamiliar with folks of African descendency and so are quite taken a back not really knowing what to think with they meet one. It doesn’t bother me, but it does surprise that many don’t make the connection with the style of hair that already exist within their culture that they are familiar with. Anyways, I feel that this entry is a bit disjointed, I now wonder if all my entries seem this way.

Pax

The developing of class dynamics…

2010-09-06T16:36:00.002+05:30

We are responsible as a class for the cleaning of the temple, our classroom and the debate courtyard on Saturdays after lunch. Due to the heavy monsoon rains we have not been debating there because it has been too wet so we have been debating in the temple. The temple is very echoey so it is hard to hear what the other person is saying so often my voice gets a bit sore and my ears feel a bit ringy after a debate session. The nice thing about debating in the temple though is that no one from outside really pays you any attention and one is surrounded by the atmosphere of the thangka’s of various Bodhisattvas, Mahasiddhas and Panditas. Also one can not miss in the front of the temple the HHDL’s throne which lay in front of an appliqué of Shakyamuni Buddha. I miss debating outside also because there one can feel the environment as you plunge into the various mental knots being flung at you. There is particularly a tree that has a bougainvillea vile wrapped all around it and when it is in full bloom in the spring with its pink and purple flowers I always try to snatch me a spot underneath it.

This morning the college secretary was touring some college students from Miami University (not to be confused with Miami, Florida) who have recently arrived at Sarah for a Tibetan Studies study abroad program for a period of two months or so, and so while we were debating he was showing them around temple. I was sitting in a corner as defender debating with a Korean nun and we were having a good debate. After awhile I then realized all of a sudden a bunch of eyes bearing down on me from curious white faces. The secretary introduced the students to me after a bit and asked me to explain to them the reasons for all the mannerism done in debate. My Korean challenger done dipped to the bird immediately and was nowhere to be found as this was going on. Now this is understandable for I am sure like me when I first encountered debate, one doesn’t knows what the hell to think since there is nothing from our own realm of life stateside that resembles it. But I have say that though in debate one is constantly being placed on the hot seat, this particular seat was a tidbit hotter than normal. I immediately got nervous and was searching for a good and brief explanation and as any one back home who I have talked to about debate or who has read this blog knows this is not something that can be effectively explained in minute’s time. I tried my best, explaining about Manjurshri and the right active compassion hand meeting with the left passive wisdom hand thus cutting ignorance with wisdom and all that jazz, but I am sure that it might have been over their heads unless they have been exposed to Buddhism before. I have always been a sufferer of stage fright, though I have stood in front of large crowds of people before in my life. In debate I am slowly getting used to it, but still when damja time comes around generally, unless I am sitting and being drilled in as a defender, I like to sit on the sidelines and listen in. Anyway, ultimately who knows what was going through these kids minds, seeing this random dreadlocked black man in a Tibetan college debating Buddhist logic with a Korean nun in Tibetan and all the other commotion going on. This couldn’t be posited as an oxymoron, could it?

So back to the cleaning, today after lunch we had to cut the grass of the courtyard. But back at home cutting grass normally means a lawn mower of some sort. Not here. Here we have the tool that represents the worker through and through. So much so that it was placed on the flag of the ex-Soviet Union, the all mighty sickle. Dull rusty ass sickles! Many of the students coming from the rural villages of the Indian Himalayas have had experience with cutting grass with this tool. They crouch down on their haunches sickle in right hand and grab a hand full of grass and weeds with their left then cut underneath the left to repeat the process again grabbing more grass. Once the left hand has more grass than it can hold it is then place aside until a decent pile of grass has accumulated. Normally there is an elderly Indian man who cuts the grass to take it to feed his beloved bovines stashed in a mud barn behind the college. But on days when we are doing the cutting he is just elated because all he is got to do is come and pick up the grass. Since being in India I have never seen a lawnmower or a chainsaw. I remember my first day in Dharamsala fall ‘05, I was in a taxi and a tree had fallen and blocked the road up the McLeod Ganj due the heavy rains. I naturally and ignorantly assumed that some one will be busting out chainsaw to quickly remove the obstacle, but the taxi driver grinning at me stated, “Oh Sar, no problem tree chap chap then go, OK?”, and then some guys appeared out of nowhere with axes and commenced on the removal process and thus I quickly learned. But at times I am still amazed at the differences in modus operandi of my host country mostly from my previous conditioning. Like the saying goes, “You can take the boy out of the city but you can’t take the city out of the boy” I guess my case in a slightly modified way fits this allegory.

As I was cutting grass with this implement I was thinking that since the grass is for the cows, why don’t they just fence them in the courtyard since it is currently not being used by us and the cows could do the work. That’s what was done back in the day back home before lawnmowers, right? So far when I have asked this question, I receive looks like, “why would we do that for?” I guess that cow dung might not be desired in the courtyard though it adorns everywhere else in India or that it teaches us, the dialectics students a lesson in hard work.

While working different types of horse play naturally develops amongst the group. A few weeks ago it was some of my classmates doing headstands in lotus posture and seeing who could do it the longest, sometimes ending with another monk unexpectedly knocking the up-side down one over. In India and amongst Tibetans, the lotus posture, which is so elusive to us chair bound Westerners, is no sweat for them. Without an ounce of hatha yoga training they can just popped into it. We have one student though, an ex-monk for Spiti who is an avid hatha yoga practitioner, who has been teaching some of the monks in the early dawn before morning prayers. But what is a beginner’s class for them is quite advanced for us. I saw him bust out some of these moves once and they were astonishing to say the least.

Today since the sun was hot; our class captain bought a case of mountain dew for us. Some of the guys were playing Kabaddi which looks like a mixture of tag and judo and red rover. As we were sitting doing the dew, one of the guys starting chucking glass bottles around and that ensued into a kind of game where someone would stand and toss a glass bottle at someone but I few feet beside them so that they had to dive soccer goalie fashion in order to catch the bottle in mid air, luckily none of the bottles broke. This went on for some time amongst tons of giggles, some one took pictures with their camera phone and the bottle divers reveled in laughter as they saw pictures of themselves. I do appreciate the seemingly small things that my classmates do to have fun. I would have never thought that the throwing glass bottles could be fun. I wouldn’t even contemplate it but it created a relaxed atmosphere and we had a great time.

Once while cleaning the temple a few weeks back, an impromptu concert on the temple’s right side veranda was formed with Ladakhi and Hindi songs galore. After each songs, the guys would yell, “Wah Wah, Kya baat Kya baat”, which is Hindi for wow wow how magnificent! They even convinced me to rap, though I cannot rap for shit, I busted out an old 90’s A Tribe called Quest favorite of mine. They have no clue who “Tribe” is but it brought smiles to their faces.

Today towards the end of our grass cutting session, a debate developed, not a dialectical one, but one about an essay written by Takbum that said some pretty critical things about behavior of monks in general. From Takbum’s perspective it was not aimed at all monks or to the monks in our class. But some of the monks took issue with it, for one, it was written by a layperson who does not know how it is to be a monk and that since many people will read it, it then presents an incorrect picture of monkhood. It was quite a hot debate. No foot stomping and handclapping in this one but with the same intensity and maybe more so than our normal dialectical debate. The idea of finding contradictions in ones assertions was still in place though. It was interesting to me to see this interaction. Takbum has been in this spot before I have notice several times, he is not afraid to say what he thinks which I admire, but it can be viewed as being insensitive to the ones around you. Especially when you are with monks, who just as equally as laypeople don’t comprehend the monastic life, do they comprehend the lay life.

Tomorrow is Teacher’s Day; our class brought our Gen la chair that he wanted. We’ll present it to him on Monday. Teacher’s Day is a holiday either started by or started to show respects to the great Indian scholar and the second president of India Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan. Teacher’s Day means, honoring ones teacher as ones mentor and guide in life and learning. This kind of respect towards one’s teacher was quite unfamiliar to me until I came to India and to Sarah in particular. One is always showing respect to that person who is imparting their knowledge onto you. From elementary school on through higher education, in India the teacher is well respected. Quite the opposite to what I knew in Brooklyn where in 7th grade homeroom, we were such hellions that we loved getting our short tempered homeroom teacher all riled up to the point to where he would pull at his hair red in anger smashing books on the desk and throwing erasers and chalk at us. We of course just dodged the projectiles laughingly making him even more infuriated. We got a kick out of it, but now years later with seeing how it is done here I reflected about my relations with my teachers in the pass. In college it was different of course, I did and I do have lot of respect for my teachers but it is not like here. Here, when one’s teacher enters the classroom for example, the whole class stands up and sits down after the teacher has seated. That was something I had to get used to when I was in Tsamjor. In the philosophy class we stand up and prostrate three times after Gen la has taken his seat and three times at the end of class before he leaves the classroom.

Remembering my two years in Tsamjor, on Teacher’s Day the students will present to each teacher a gift. Also snacks, games, poetry and songs are arranged by the students. I remember my first year in Tsamjor, the students made a game that involved a bunch of pieces of paper all balled up in a receptacle and the students had to take a balled up piece of paper, open it and do whatever it said to do on the paper if they were that brave that is. One of these pieces of papers that a Khampa monk picked up stated that he had to dance with me and so I got up, the monk was doubled over in laughter at the thought of the future dance with me and I grabbed his hand got funky with the monk. The whole class, teacher included was laughing so hard that I saw tears rolling down everyone’s face after we were done. Since this is my first year in the philosophy course a.k.a Nang don rig pa, I will see how it goes.

Tomorrow the Kalon Tripa (Tibetan-in-Exile Prime Minister) Samdhong Rinpoche will be speaking at Sarah to inaugurate a new Advanced Hindi Teachers Training program for handful of monastics (Himalayan by the looks of it) who will be staying at Sarah for a month and a half. I heard that there might other activities as well. Because the Miami University students have arrived there will be a welcoming concert for them Sunday night. As for the Kalon Tripa, this is his last year and there seems to be a hot race for the next democratic leader of Tibetan exile. A huge voting and political awareness program is happening, posters are posted and talks are happening about voter registration and rights etc. It seems that this voting session will be extremely important for Tibetan exile and the appearance of a modern form of politics seems to be appearing as well. I look forward to hearing the current Kalon Tripa speak; I have heard him speak once before it might have been last year but anyways I appreciated what he had to say.

Pax

Diamond Cutting in the Clouds…

2010-08-29T22:59:00.001+05:30

I have just returned from the McLeod Ganj, which right now from sunny Sarah’s vantage point is immersed in a thick dense cloud. Since I have been back I have not had the opportunity to visit “Da Ganj” as much as I used to mainly due to financial and time restraints. But this weekend I had some incentives for visiting the foggy “spiritual Disneyland” as it has been described by various journalists. This weekend HHDL was giving a two day teaching on the Diamond Cutter Sutra (rdo rje gcod pa, Vajracchedikā Prajñāpāramitā) at the request of the Korean sangha (Buddhist community). Most if not all of the teachings are sponsored and or requested by a sangha from a small group of Asian countries. Usually they are Korea, Taiwan, Russia (Kalmykia, Tuva, Buryatia)/ Mongolia and Singapore. These are always interesting times for one sees how the various Buddhist traditions, the monastic ones in particular, interact with one another. As I have mentioned before, in my class we have students from Korea, Taiwan, Vietnam and Singapore, and most of these students are also well learned in their respective traditions. At the beginnings of these teachings the monastics from whichever particular country will lead the initiatory chants in their traditional style. Like this morning, the slow steady and mindful beat of a woodblock was heard reverberating around the main temple as the Koreans chanted. I remember once when I went to a teaching sponsored by the Russian sangha three years ago, how the Mongolian monks with their intricate throat singing overtonal manipulations chanted the chant for the mandala offering. I was heavily struck by that experience.

It has been some time since I have been to any HHDL teachings, mostly because I normally like to take that time to catch-up on some studies. But Gen la gave us the time off to go, and Sarah made a surprise holiday so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. Also there are some old dear friends visiting which I might not have otherwise gotten the chance to kick it with them. I was very elated to see them. It is always a treat to see the HHDL, though during the teachings the topics tend to be way over my head in English and definitely in Tibetan. Going to teachings is a good community event. Almost everyone is there and when sitting amongst Tibetans one is never left out. You are guaranteed to be taken care of. At the teachings you have your ole’ skool dharma bums and neophytes in attendance with their own particular style and flavor, all trying to digest the information coming to them by way of a translator. For the Westerns, there are always translations broadcasted by radio in English, and these days even Spanish of which I am particularly fond of listening to. Also the direct Tibetan teachings are broadcasted all throughout Dharamshala so that those who don’t have the chance to attend can listen in. Waiting for the bus at Sarah one student had his radio tuned in already.

The general process for getting up to “Da Ganj” the cheap way is to take a bus from Sarah, when there is one, for about 10 INR to lower Dharamshala and then from there, if there is a huge crowd waiting, fight and shove, American football style, to get into a shared jeep to McLeod. The shared jeep rides are rather uncomfortable. One is crammed in like sardines in a can, for the driver gets paid per how many heads are in. That is another ten rupees. The total time this takes from Sarah to McLeod Ganj is one hour to an hour and a half. It is quite an exhausting ordeal especially during monsoon.

There are more teachings coming up in the next couple of months, though I don’t know as of yet if I will attend all them, I will probably like this teaching attend it partially which seems to work for me for in this way I can still get some studying in.

As far as this pass week goes, there was not too much going on. I had quite a long sleeping spell on Tuesday because I was so exhausted. I get 7 hours of sleep everyday, but it don’t seem like it is cutting it. At the beginning of the course I was getting barely 6. But I think that seven hours is good, if I could do eight I would but so far no go.

We are now on the last chapter in the introductory path of reasoning “rigs lam chung ngu” Substantial and Isolated Phenomenon (rdzas chos ldog chos). Our previous chapter was on Generalities and Instances or Universals and Particulars (spyi bye drag), of which I just came to discover has had a long line of discussion going to antiquity in the western philosophical traditions. Even though each proceeding chapter gets increasing difficult and complex, it tends to be related to the previous topic studied which I find so helpful. Substantial and Isolated Phenomenon so far seems to organizes all of the phenomenon that we have studied so far into eight groups. One such group, Substantial Phenomenon, must have phenomenon that meet a specific criteria, like pot (bum pa) is a substantial phenomenon because it has a common locus such that (1) it is an established base i.e. it exists, (2) it is itself, (3) non-it is not it and (4) its isolate i.e. reversed from not being itself is not mutually exclusive with substantial phenomenon (khyod gzhi grub, khyod khyod rang yin, khyod ma yin pa khyod ma yin, khyod kyi ldog pa rdzas chos dang mi ‘gal yang yin pa’i gzhi mthun pa), recall that “it” (khyod) acts like “x” in mathematics where one has to find “x”. In this chapter there are seven other phenomenons that have similar requirements like the above and it gets quite confusing keeping track of them in debate since they are all so similar sounding. Anyhow, we are getting to the point where Gen la will point out distinctions between the four philosophical schools that we will be studying in the future which gives us a sneak peak in what is to come.

Yesterday I met an Israeli monk on the street that I was curious about when I first came to “Da Ganj” in ’05. I use to go to every teachings I could then, and I remember seeing in a ocean of maroon this one monk who was obviously not Tibetan, but just kickin’ there listening directly to the teachings. I had no idea who he was or where he was from, until one day I was circumambulating in the main temple while a debate session was going on in the courtyard. And so after my oblations and went down to investigate and saw this monk cutting into another in debate. By the time I got to where it was happening there was a small crowd of old Tibetans listening in watching this strange white monk doing his thing. After the debate was over I asked the monk in Tibetan where was he from and to my surprise he said Israel. He was in the program for the full time, a true Geshe in training, and now I assume that at time that he was in the Perfection of Wisdom class. I was surprised for up until that time I have met few Israelis deeply interesting in Buddhism nevertheless one that had taken on the maroon robes. Then, McLeod Ganj was and is still known to be full of Israelis backpackers, many just released from mandatory military service, to chill, relax and have a good time. I told him that I was attending Sarah within the year and that I was interested in the course that he is going through. He wished me luck and that was that. Since then I have seen him a few times (including once at Sarah where he sat as defender when the previous class had an all-night debate) and we will usually chat briefly. But this time it was in a mode of congratulations towards me for getting in the course and for me it was like completing a circle. It is weird to think also that in a couple of years this same monk might be clapping in front of my face.

Another Western monk, this one American, congratulated me last week. This one is quite a translator trained in the FPMT (Lotsawa Rinchen Zangpo) translator program a few years back. I sat next to him by chance at a teaching in the fall of ’07 and we started talking for I noticed that he had great insight into the Dharma and he spoke Tibetan really good. We talked a bit about what led us to where we were now and I told him what I was up to and what my plans were with my Tibetan language study. He was just so friendly and laid back. After the lunch break he presented me with a small donation for my studies, in which I was flabbergasted, I couldn’t take it from a monk. It is supposed to be the other way around. But he insisted, not taking no for an answer, stating that there are not many folks out there with enough motivation, interested in taking the time to do the work monk, lay or otherwise. I wasn’t sure if I was the right person for this but I give in and I held on to the donation for three years until I was accepted into the philosophy program in which it was included in my first three months tuition for the course. It was last weekend up the hill that I received the opportunity to thank him for that, for being farseeing three years back. For though then I wanted to take the course, I had no idea if I would have gotten in or not. Through those intermediary years I wondered, “what if I do not get in?” But that did not happen, in both cases with the Israeli and the American monk I felt a circle close and another open. I am glad that there are cool Western monastics around that I have befriended, for I have met many who are not so cool and I’ve often wondered why did they become monks or nuns. But that might be another entry for the future.

Pax

Pataan Nahi!

2010-08-22T00:41:00.004+05:30

Gen la started class this pass Monday by jokingly stating, “Y’alls don’t keep information in your minds, instead you have it all stored on these recorders”, as he causally stared at the array of digital recorders that lay on a table in front him. “Back in my day we were scruple-less when came to taking notes, we had no recording devices” he said. Gen la is interesting when it comes to giving us advice. About our previous all-night debate he said that we lacked a lot discipline. About debating in general, he was reminding us not to get discouraged; this process is about learning how to think in a totally new and different way, there are many ups and downs along the way, some have the capacity to pick it up quickly, while the majority might take one to two years get the hang of it. When he said this I was thinking that that will probably be me.

Many times he will bring up something that might relate to Physics (like antimatter, sub-atomic particles, Stephen Hawkins, theory of relativity, etc) though he is by no means an expert in the subject, just to show us that there are applications for our study outside of the realm of clapping our hands and stomping our feet in the debate courtyard. But similarly as the laboratory is for the scientist so is the courtyard for us as neophyte dialecticians and onwards. In Tibetan the name of our class is nang don rig pa, which could mean “the way or the science of the internal meaning”, and as we debate we are called to look for the deeper meaning, to dig deeper. About presenting debates he made an interesting comparison as to how in modern courts the defendant and the prosecution presents there cases in front of the judge and jury setting up each argument and posing the pros and cons for each case. Our task in some ways is not that dissimilar he stated since it requires clear reasoning, sequencing, order and proof. Though I wonder what my friends from college who have finished law school and are newbie lawyers would say to that. How dissimilar is dialectic school from law school I have wondered? I have to say that I appreciate what Gen la says, though his general stature is seemingly stoic, it shows that speaks from thorough experience and that he cares about our progress.

During our daily debates, he just walks around slowly with his hands behind his back, roaming to and fro from different groups listening. Sometimes he might say something, but most of the time he just stands there and he stands in such a way that one can’t really tell if he is listening to you or to the challenger and defender debating a few feet away from you. This illusion is enhanced by the fact that he has an eye condition where he wears sunglasses all the time. Jeremy, an American student from the previous class referred to him as Morpheus, except this one dons monks robes. As I have said before, he leads us down the rabbit of hole of Buddhist reasoning.

That stack of books that you see in the picture above represents most of the books we will be using for the next six years. Not including this year, after finishing the study of logic and reasoning we will move on to the heavy stuff. The Perfection of Wisdom (phar phyin, prajnaparamita) course is the longest course and with in lays the study of the Abhisamayaalamkaara ‘The Ornament of Manifest Realizations” (mngon rtogs rgyan) and Pramaanavaartikakaarika ‘The Full Commentary to the Compendium of Valid Cognition’ (tshad ma rnam ‘grel). For this course so far we have received 32 texts as you see stacked like mountain and we are to receive another 7 to 8 more texts as soon as they arrive from Varanasi and South India. I will like to thank a very cool and intelligent Singaporean nun and classmate Ani Aneja of sponsoring the texts for me. The Korean ex-genetic engineer monk Tenzin Kunzig and Korean layperson Tenzin Rabjam sponsored all of the books for the Tibetan and Himalayan students, which was über awesome. In total the cost of all the books per student will come to about 100 bones US. We received the majority of the books on Tuesday. There are 38 some odd students, so as you can imagine, that meant tons of books. The books were first sent from the Drepung Loseling Monastery in South India to Pathankot (4 hours from here) at the Punjab-Himachel Pradesh province border, and brought to Sarah by a few students from class. The afternoon that we came to get the books, they were all stacked in the temple towards the front; an impressive heap of texts if I had ever seen any. As it says in a visualization exercise, “imagine to your rear, a stack of scriptures stacked like a mountain”, I thought of this when I saw this pile. Gen la had a list with everyone’s name on it and per text he called us up one by one to retrieve them.

As the our individual piles steadily got bigger I was thinking, “imagine if in college during ones first year if you received all your books that you will need for all the four or five years of college if it will match or surpass the amount of books I am getting now?”, probably yes, but going to the college bookstore and this are two different things. As I knew that we were to be getting a bunch of books I had brought my army duffle bag with me. The other students either had to use some of the boxes that the books had original been packed in or haul it by hand. With most of us living on the 4^thfloor besides me and two others on the 5^th floor, walking from the temple to the boy’s hostel, we looked like line of lemmings (these being golden and maroon ones) carrying these stacks in a line all the way up them stairs. Some of the stacks were as tall as the lemmings themselves. Ani Nga la, a very tiny and petite Vietnamese nun stood at about the same height as her stack. After receiving these texts, unpacking them in my room and looking at them I wonder if I will be able to digest the material stored within them. Here in front of me lay some very tough stuff, boy! I struggle with the three texts on reasoning that we are using now. All in due time I suppose. On the other hand I am excited for my future study.

Normally at Sarah, nothing exciting ever really happens. Everyone goes about their day, studying (most of us) hard. They haven’t started the interclass debates yet; these are more like round table debates as in college back home. The tragedies in Ladakh and Amdo of course are the minds of the students. But at Sarah not much is happening, the new to be water tower and badminton/volleyball court is something I suppose, well also when the students arrive from Emory and Miami Universities for their study abroad programs at Sarah the college goes all out to welcome them with a concert that the students have prepared. They use to show movies on the basketball court after Wednesday night prayers, I hope that they start that up again soon. The last movie that I remember seeing on the b-ball court was 2012 last year which was a bad movie, though the student body got a hell of a kick out the section that was made to seem like it was Tibet with lamas and monks and all, since that was probably the only section in the movie that the majority could actually understand, roars of laughter were undeniable due to the odd way that the actors spoke Tibetan. This week has been raining like no somebody’s biz-snatch and one rainy morning just after I had gotten my piece of Tibetan bread for breakfast from the school kitchen an electrical wire attached to a fuse box in front of the girl’s hostel just started shooting sparks madly like it was the 4^th of July. Girls were screaming madly, though it was quite a dangerous situation, no one was anywhere near the fireworks. Most of us in the vicinity just stared in amazement at the spectacle. I thought of how many times every day that folks walk underneath at wire and luckily while no one was underneath it erupted in sparks; I then thought to myself, “Only in India, Only at Sarah!”

I would like to conclude with a joke that was told to me this week by a classmate. In Hindi, “pataan nahi” means I don’t know, and there are many stories that run about poking fun at new arrival’s naïveté when they first arrive in India. Here it goes. A nomad fresh from Tibet is traveling around India and he is just amazed at the development that he sees. One day at a train station, he is very curious as to who built it. He sees a guy standing near him and he asks, “Who built this station?” to which the guy not understanding Tibetan replied, “pataan nahi” with a smooth Indian head wobble and a shrug. The nomad thought to himself, “Hmmm, this Pataan Nahi fellow is quite an architect”. So another day, he is at the airport and he is just amazed, he has never seen anything like it and he asks a woman, “Who built this airport?” and she also replied, “pataan nahi”. Now the nomad is like, “Wow, Pataan Nahi must be a genius, just look at all the things he can build, I want to find Pataan Nahi and gave him some money for all of his achievements!” And so he begins his quest and goes around New Delhi and one day he sees on the street a poor dirty laborer doubled over carrying a heavy sack of rocks on this back. The nomad then asks someone, “Who is that man?”, “pataan nahi” he replied. The nomad was surprised that this poor toiling man was the great Pataan Nahi who had built all the incredible structures that he has been seeing and so he goes over to the laborer and gives him some money to the surprise of the laborer.

Pax

Old habits are hard to break, New ones are even harder to create…

2010-08-14T23:35:00.004+05:30

The concert that was to have been held yesterday for the college’s “Founder’s day” and not college day like I was told was cancelled. So Takbum Tsering and I did not perform our piece. We did, however, practiced a few times at the beginning of the week. Due to the recent cloudburst that devastated Ladakh’s capital Leh and the mudslide in Amdo, Tibet our principal held that it will be rather uncouth if we had a concert with singing, dancing and merry-making while the people of Ladakh and Amdo went through this difficult ordeal. Though I understand the principal’s reason, it sucks that it was canceled on the other hand because many of the students have dedicated a lot of their time into preparing pieces for the show. I know that the students look forward to such shows because it is one of the few times that the seemingly shy ones get out there to strut their stuff. Since we have Ladakhi students in our class and on campus, with the Himalaya teacher’s training course arranged especially for them, they have been having fundraisers and prayer vigils with butter lamps for the victims this past week. There was also a prayer vigil led by HHDL at the Main Temple in McLeod Ganj today.

During our first practice Takbum had me try on an Amdo-style for the first time. Boy! That sucker was so hot that I was sweating profusely as soon as it was arranged on me. Takbum thinks that I look good in one, though I beg to differ, I felt like I was wearing a clown suit. The practice sessions were very cool; Takbum’s dramnyen is really a mandolin with a different tuning than what is used in Appalachia. As he sung I could easily imagine myself roaming the vast grasslands of Amdo with a herd of yaks. His strumming style made certain parts of the song hard to follow. The rhythm of the song follows its melody and not a steady rhythm of a drummer trained both in traditional Afro-Latin polyrhythms and marching drumming such as me. Regardless of that, I felt that the djembe does suit Takbum’s music, also I would have loved to learn the lyrics of song to help with the drumming but since Takbum sings in Amdo dialect it would have been quite a challenge to learn the lyrics and I opted just to stick to drumming. This practice time also provided us with the opportunity to chat which was really nice. Despite Takbum’s eccentricities he is a rather intelligent man, trained in both Tibetan literature and medicine for four years at a university in his native homeland. Though he only knows Tibetan, he is generally knowledgeable in various topics. He is one of the few Tibetans that I know that has read the Bible in Tibetan twice, he took many issues with the particular text, mainly that to him it seem to lack valid and cohesive reasoning unlike the Buddhadharma. With my lack of in-depth biblical studies I could not affirm nor deny his conclusion. We had quite a pleasant time, for sure.

You can recant that in a previous post I wrote about the interesting T-shirts that one sees various people donning throughout the sub-continent. This, of course, boils over to the Tibetan exile community. Like for example, a pious elderly Tibetan man doing his oblations at the Main Temple in McLeod Ganj sporting a 50 cent T-shirt which clearly states to “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” for which I doubt if he actually knows the meaning of what is written on his shirt. About two weeks ago, while cutting the grass of the debating courtyard one hot and humid Saturday afternoon a monk from my class (and as you know monks are by definition celibate) was sporting a T-shirt that had on its front the images of two footprints pointing upward, slightly separated and in between them were two other footprints pointing downwards. Around the footprint images were little concentric half circles to indicate motion. On top of the image it stated, “I am busy!” and on the back it said, “Do not disturb!” Hmmm, I wonder what that‘s supposed to mean? Does the image of two people “knockin’ boots”, to use a 90’s Ebonics euphemism, come to mind? Again obviously this monk was unawares of the meaning printed on his T-shirt.

Just an hour ago, I was talking to two female German friends of mine who expressed their shock when they saw a Tibetan guy who sported a T-shirt that stated, “Let’s play Post Office, you lick, I deliver”. Now that’s just not right!

This week, one particular T-shirt that a shy looking Tibetan girl was wearing caused me to think, WTF!! The gender divide at Sarah and probably in Tibetan Exile in India is quite huge. Tibetan boys and girls at Sarah rarely interact in the open sphere, acts of flirtation between genders are hardly noticeable, not that is does not happen, but it is a quite tough and immature ordeal as compared to an average college back at home, it is at about a 6 graders level back at home. A Tibetan guy that I know who has attended college state-side is rather perplexed at the whole phenomenon.

The topic of sex is an obvious taboo that is very hard to break, with most of the students having had if any formal or informal sex education. This is problematic for obvious reasons. Many misconceptions float about as to how VD’s are transmitted and how pregnancy occurs. It is rumored that VD’s are some quite prevalent amongst the youngsters. So, when I realized that this girl was nonchalantly sporting a T-shirt that used the Master-Card logo, but instead of saying that, it said “Master-Bate” within its orange and yellow circles, an obvious play on words of an euphemism for a certain solo activity, I almost choked on my rice and dal dinner. As far as I know, there is not even a word in Tibetan for that.

I remember asking a female international student a few years back, who is close with the Tibetan ladies, if she thought if they…. Well do you? She about died laughing and after she had gathered enough of her composure she said that she highly doubted it. Of course, one never knows right? So, maybe with this one can understand my shock. I am not even sure if a girl back home would wear such a T-shirt. If this girl really does not know what her T-shirt implies then she should be made aware of its meaning. I can’t do it, as a guy and especially as an international male student that would be crossing a line or really more like crossing the Grand Canyon plus I wouldn’t even know how to explain it in Tibetan due to it never being a part of my common banter.

The Indian-subcontinent unlike its East Asian counterpart minus Singapore has enough English speakers to understand such a meaning. I doubt that it would be much on an issue if the T-shirt was worn in Laos or Cambodia. If the general population doesn’t know then one just passes by unnoticed. It is different but similar in some respects like going to a tattoo parlour back in the states to get “hope” tattooed in Chinese on ones shoulder but it really says “I like eating dog doo-doo”. Since in the states, unless one is walking around in Chinatown, no one is going to know what the hell it says and that person will continue to have confidence that their “hope” tattoo is badass. But if that person happened to travel in China, and then that confidence will be erased rather quickly. So what to do? Maybe she knows what it means and thinks that the T-shirt is just cool and/ or is making a statement, sweet more power to her, but if she doesn’t should she just float around in her blissful ignorance? Remember, many folks who wear Ernesto “Ché” Guevara T-shirts in these parts think that it is Bob Marley.

Moving right a long, I have learned so much since the beginnings of the philosophy course even though I am slow at catching on; I am making progress which is awesome. Things that I use to let slide due to non-awareness, I can now catch them like second nature. As I have thought about it, what I am lacking the most right now it an effective study method, since this course is unconventional for me I am quite unsure how to go about it. So far I have been doing it basically Tibetan style, meaning by memorization and the problem with that for me is that for one, if takes me longer to memorize something than my Tibetan/Himalayan counterparts because firstly it is rather new to me, secondly I am older. My classmates are use to memorizing having been doing it since their childhood, thus they just repeat/murmur something really quickly a few times and it is in there. Not so with me, I have to say something thousands of times and then it might stick. Memorization is key to such a heuristic course; I have been experimenting in various ways but so far nothing as of yet. Because not many westerns have studied in such a course there is no information on the internet to serve as a guide.

I am amazed at how it was done in Tibet back in day. In our class we have notebooks to write notes in, dictionaries, and digital recorders to record our classes, etc. But in Tibet with paper being a rare commodity I assume that the idea of even taking notes probably did not exist. So if one could not remember what was said in class then it must have been quite difficult. One always hears how incredible the scholars from old skool Tibet were as compared to now. Though I think that a lot of it is due to nostalgia for the way things are remembered by folks who miss their homeland, when I see how we are dependent on the things with we use now, pens, notebooks etc, and that we could not imagine doing this course with them, I have to give mad props to those of the old skool who excelled extremely with out them. But still my search for an appropriate study method continues.

I participated in my first all-night debate (mtshan ma’i dam ‘ca) on Thursday (having missed the first actual one because I was on a bus to New Delhi so I could go state-side). The class was divided into three groups of about 12 students, and each group got during the debate an hour and half as challengers and the same amount of time as defenders. Each group had to arrange questions for the debate, and since we could draw from any of the topics that we had studied thus far, it seems that many chose to make some complicated ones. During my first years at Sarah I had attended the all-night debates of the previous class, but being in one is a whole different matter. For one, unlike before, since I have been studying the topics in-depth I can follow what is going on.

Our group decided to split in half so that all of us could sit as defenders at 45 minutes stretches instead of having only 6 folks sitting there for the whole time. I am trying to figure out the purpose of these all-night debates, because there were times when things got a bit chaotic. We are all mostly beginners so that is part of the reason for the bedlam. My group started the night as the first set of defenders, six of us in all, sitting on a cushion crossed legged in the temple in front of the HHDL’s throne, which behind that is a large and beautiful appliqué of Shakyamuni Buddha. In front of us are seated the rest of our classmates including Gen la. One person starts the debate, but anyone in the class can get up to ask questions and normally a large group forms asking questions very loudly in unison.

Three out of the group are pretty good in debate with the rest of us not saying too much but listening intensely and helping the others. Since there were so many of us, its was hard to agree on an answer and many times some one would just blurt out the wrong answer and after being drilled in by an effective challenger at the inconsistencies of the response, they would try to fudge the previously stated wrong answer so that it works. That is eventually bound for failure. I think that with the pressure one just acts on instincts instead of calm and collected reasoning like we are training to do. Maybe as we get better this quality will manifest itself more. As Gen la sat there in silence listening to us I can sure hear him thinking, Boy! These kids have a lot to learn. Of course, when things get stuck he knows to the exact things to say to get the challengers rolling again and to stump the defenders. It was quite an interesting night. There were so many out right blatant mistakes, even from the ones who are already quite proficient. A lot of it stemmed for the very questions that some of the groups asked, many being very long winded and complex. There are enough seemingly simple questions that are hard as hell, such as positing the comparison between, “it and permanent” and “permanent and it” where “it” (khyod) acts like an unknown “X” as in mathematics where “X” is to be found. Unlike this question, what is the comparison between, “an object suitable to an awareness of which being it is possible and three possibilities (trilemma) exist and different from one with permanent phenomena and a contradiction exist”, which is hard to spit out of the tongue very fast and it leaves both the challengers and the defenders confused. When our group was acting as challengers, there were times when two or three people are asking questions at the same time, and it wasn’t the same question that they were asking either. In spite of showing that we having a long way to go before maturing into proper smack masters, it provided us with different ways to look at the topics at hand and how it is handled by the others. The best part of the whole night was during our break when we ate tasty veggie momos and an apple cream desert while chatting with classmates!!!

I am not sure if in previous entries if I had explained what the four main responses of a defender are and how they work in general. I know that I must have mentioned that a defender is generally limited to four responses in debate depending on how a challenger poses a query. I would just like to explain briefly to give you a basic idea. The four responses of a defender are, I accept (‘dod), there is no pervasion (khyab pa ma byung), why (ci’i phyir), and the reason is not establish (rtags ma grub). This is the Gelukpa way of responsing, the Sakyapas and the others use the same words but they have different meanings. A Tibetan query has three parts, a subject (chos can), a predicate (gsal ba) and a reason (rtags). For a correct and valid query the subject must meet the reason and the reason must pervade or entail its predicate. For example, the subject sound, it follows that it is impermanent, because it is a product (sgra chos can/ mi rtag pa yin par thal/ byas yin pa’i phyir). Here the subject meets the reason because sound is a product and the reason entails the predicate because impermanent and product are mutually inclusive or have the same meaning. And so to such a question a defender should accept (‘dod) it.

If the query was, the subject sound, it follows that it is impermanent, because it is an existent, (sgra chos can/ mi rtag pa yin par thal/ yod pa yin pa’i phyir) then the defender must answer that there is no pervasion (khyab pa ma byung). Here the reason does not entail its predicate because whatever is an existent is not necessarily impermanent. Permanent phenomenon are also existents put not impermanent. Also, by stating that there is not pervasion one is implying that the reason is established.

If the query was, the subject sound, it follows that it is a person (sgra chos can/ mi yin par thal) then the defender should answer why (ci’i phyir). Since sound and person are mutually exclusive or contradictory one will never find something that is both a sound and a person. For the last type of response, if a query was, the subject sound, it follows that it is a product, because of being a color (sgra chos can/ byas pa yin par thal/ kha dog yin pa’i phyir) then the defender should answer that the reason is not establish (rtags ma grub). For even though the pervasion is correct for whatever is a color is necessarily a product, sound and color are mutually exclusive, there is nothing that is both. Anyways, I just wanted to provided a little info about the actual debate process, I know that this stuff can be boring for many and I hope that it does not deter you from continuing to read this blog. Leave comments. Much Love!!

Pax.

Feeling the Experience….

2010-08-08T00:52:00.009+05:30

Pandita Dignaga

Pandita Dharmakirti

Homage to the former scholars and adepts of the country of Superiors and Tibet,

The great beings Dignaga, Dharmakirti, and so forth

Who clarified with valid cognition the path of reasoning well spoken

By the Valid Teacher seeing the meaning of reality

(Translated from the Tibetan by Daniel Perdue)

When class first started in the middle of March, this expression of worship was the first stanza that we memorized. And from then up until now many of our debates have started with this stanza. The reason for this stanza being that at this point we, as students of Buddhist dialectics, are striving for the path of reasoning which was said to have been first implied by the Valid Teacher himself a.k.a Shakyamuni Buddha and later clarified by the two great masters of Indian Buddhist logic Dignaga and Dharmakirti. At this moment, the text that we are using is called Collected Topics (bsdus grwa) because there are various topics of dialectical study collected within it, ranging from the introductory to the more advance. There are many different Collected Topics texts with different monasteries of the Gelukpa sect using specific ones. These days the other sects are familiar with Collected Topics and supposedly the Sakya sect has a Collected Topics tradition that might have been lost to antiquity.

The title of the Collected Topics text that we are studying is called “The Presentation of Collected Topics Revealing the Meaning of the Texts on Valid Cognition, the Magical Key to the Path of Reasoning”, written by Phurbuchok Jampa Gyatso, the main tutor of Thupten Gyatso the 13^th Dalai Lama, for teaching the young Dalai Lama dialectics. And so, this text’s intention is to act as a magical key to open the door to the path of reasoning. In this method reasoning is seen as a path to illumination. Tibetans generally talk about the path of reasoning (rigs lam) as something you can obtain because not everyone is born with it, like me for example. It reminds me of chess books that have games written in them in algebraic notation showing the progression of certain games or possible moves that can be done depending on how an opponent moves. In a similar fashion, the Collect topics text runs through different consequential reasonings that are based on how a possible opponent might answer and/or pose a question. An example of what our text can look is this, if a defender states that whatever is fruit is necessarily apple then the challenger might say it follows that the subject banana, is apple, because of being fruit. You (defender) asserted the pervasion or entailment; being that whatever is fruit is necessarily or must be apple. And from this, since the mistake is obvious a possible series of questions that a challenger might use to show a defender that not all fruits are apples will be presented. Each topic is more difficult than the prior. We started with topics on colors that ran through similar assertions as the one stated above. One of the principal lessons that is learned at initial stages is learning to differentiate quickly and instinctually between a predicate statement (A is B) and a statement of pervasion/ entailment (if it is A then it is necessarily B) The text also presents positions where the challenger’s assertions are incorrect and the possible answers that a defender can state to dispel them are presented.

The Buddhist meaning of valid cognition (Tib. tshad ma, Skt. pramaana) was principally elucidated by Dignaga and Dharmakirti in India in the 6^th and 7^th century respectfully, and by next year we will be studying Dharmakirti’s main text on valid cognition (tshad ma rnam ‘grel, pramaanavaarttika) directly for two months. All I can say about valid cognition right now is that it is how the mind or consciousness knows things to be true. The defining characteristic of valid cognition is a newly unmistaken consciousness and they are of two kinds, direct and inferential valid cognition.

In thankgas (Tibetan hanging scroll painting) of Dignaga and Dharmakirti, they are usually depicted standing with their hands assuming the position of a challenger in debate with his left arm outstretched in front of him and the right arm with palm facing up at about ear level, ready to pose a qualm to a defender. Their faces seem rather wrathful looking too. Last night during damja, I was looking from my group over to another watching one of monks standing as a challenger posing questions in such a way that one is just amaze to watch him. The defenders sitting in front him also had an expression of amazement. Namgyal has had debating experience prior to attending our course at one of the Drepung monasteries in South India where there are thousands of monks. So for him to debate with a bunch of newbies must be a walk in the park for him; our class is only 40 folks tops. Today I told him, “last night you really stirred it up, man”, and he told me, “you know those Thangkas of Dignaga and Dharmakirti always have very wrathful faces on them and since they are the ones that we look up too I modeled my style from their wrathful expression. It also brings on the pressure on the defender”. I smiled when he said that. I have always wondered why in the thangkas Dignaga and Dharmakirti’s faces were drawn that way and with the little experience that I have gained in debate I can see why.

I do not know how it is to be in a graduate school program but being in dialectic school is a lot of work. The studying, memorizing, debating, thinking and rethinking seem never ending. In debate, the folks who are good at it bring so many pretty different aspects from the various topics thus studied so far. There is always something new to think about and that one thing could leave one stumped for months. At the end of the day right before bed I say, “wooh” and crash to wake up the next day to hit it again. As I go through the motions of this course I am just amazed for it is different from US college life and even the regular Sarah college life. I still doubt if I will ever get proficient in this method, though I have just started, the level needed for proficiency is daunting from where I stand and I wonder what it will look like in two years?

Later on today Takbum and I are to start practicing a song for the concert on Friday which I now know is for “college day”. I have no idea what college day is or why we are celebrating it because we have not celebrated it since I have been here, but I have noticed that every year Sarah celebrates a new unheard of holiday. Next Saturday is the second Saturday which we have off and normally the Friday before that we will have an all night debate (mtshan ma’i dam ‘ca) but because of the concert we will have it on Thursday night instead.

On Monday I had a pretty neat surprise. So far, I have not had any family visiting me here but on Saturday I received an email from Aunt Marlyn (my sister’s mother) that she was in New Delhi and that she and her husband Muganza will be there until Wednesday. She gave me the number of where she was staying that. On Monday afternoon I was able to talking to her briefly, I was so neat to chat with her being in India, but since they were only staying for a few days and Dharamshala being too far apart they could not visit, but I would have loved to show them a bit of my life here. It is hard to understand my life here since it is so different from anything back state side. They got an incredible deal too, like less than 300 bones here and back. That is unheard of. I was shocked that they got such cheap tickets to India and I see why they hopped on it. I do hope that some day my family will get to see my life here.

This caused me to think a little bit about my visit back to the states. As I visited various friends and family I struggled with the idea of the various realities that I witnessed as I stayed with different people. I was getting the feeling of being on a holo-deck like in Star trek; the city, the suburb, the north, the south, the deciduous woods of Appalachia, the redwoods of Northern California, popping in and out of different realities with those realities created by the folks who have been accustom to them and work with in it without thought because it is normal for them. Every place and every person that I stayed with had different vibes, different perceptions. In many instances I was revealed a glimpse of there lives, what stood to be important to them at that particular moment, what problems they had, who they associated with and how they came to be surrounded or in some cases not surrounded by certain people. The variation in everyone’s life is multitudinous and in a majority of cases I enjoyed every moment I spent with them. Some realities more shanti (peaceful) than others but I learned so much about the world, life, myself and them, we all shared and bounced ideas off of each other and that is why I miss them so much right now. I definitely felt a growth process happen within me and I hope that that was so for them also.

Pax.